To Kenna on Queen Bees

[Guest guest]

Kenna wrote:

 

Seems like our hierarchically oriented

minds, unconsciously of course, tend to see Amma as THE QUEEN BEE and we

want to be just like Her.

 

This can be a huge issue in satsang politics where someone, often a woman

but

not always, will do her best to step into the role of Queen Bee in the

satsang. In some cases it¹s a woman who has more experience or expertise,

etc.

In some cases it¹s the one who can sing the bhajans best (very common). Such

a

woman tends to expect the satsang to revolve around her and often does not

incline toward seva (unless it bring her lots of good attention).

 

 

 

Dear Kenna ~ you raise some good points. When I was living in Washington,

DC, I saw this in various aspects of the local satsangs. My sister called this

tendency for someone's negativities to rise to the surface in relationship to

other people in the satsang, "Amma stirring the pot."

 

I always felt a bit uncomfortable about this idea, like Amma was somehow

responsible for other people's poor behavior. I do understand that when people

begin to work on themselves, and especially in relationship to others around

them, their vasanas rise to the surface. Still, it was a bit confusing and

difficult, after I had been helping the local satsang produce its newsletter for

quite some time, that my sister invited me to a planning meeting for Amma's

upcoming tour, and then the "Queen Bee" told her she had to call me back and

uninvite me. Since my own leadership style is to be nonhierarchal, open and

inclusive, I was really taken aback by this. Then, of course, I had the

opportunity to examine my own reaction, but the experience left a bad taste in

my

mouth, and I pretty much withdrew from any involvement with the satsang. (I

have never heard of people being excluded from a meeting ~ one wants all the

ideas and help one can get.)

 

I also had another trying experience with this same person at the Rhode

Island retreat one year. The details are unimportant, but I guess our mutual

karma wasn't over yet ~ we ended up as dorm mates. :::wink wink::: The

difficulty

is, when being spiritual, knowing when to stand up for one's self, which can

often be looked upon as selfish. Yet I remember one video about one man's

journey to India where he met and studied with many different gurus ~ one of

the things that impressed itself most upon my mind was his experience with a

guru who told him that the development of self-confidence was part of spiritual

growth.

 

I am praying that, as we get our satsang started here in Silver City that we

can create a structure that will minimize this Queen Bee behavior. Even

though I have been the instigator of trying to start this, I have no desire to

be

the satsang coordinator. In fact, I have had some experience with groups

where the coordinator position was rotated among the members every few months or

so. This gives everyone the experiene and opportunity for greater

responsibility, without getting it stuck on one person.

 

I am just another bozo on the bus. : ) Jai Ma ~ Linda