Vicki's Limbo of Letting Go

[Guest guest]

Hello All,

 

I think I shared this piece once before, but it has new relevance now that the

list

is praying for Vicki Woodyard, whose beloved husband Bob, passed away this

morning. Vicki's sister, Kalika, is an Amma devotee and dear friend. Here's

the

piece again; I don't think Vicki would mind.

 

Jyotsna

 

 

The Limbo Of Letting Go

 

by Vicki WoodyardI am up in the middle of the night--urged out of bed by a

phrase thatpopped into my head....the limbo of letting go.....and now this

phrasehas me wide awake. I can see an old broom in my mind....can see

myselfgoing lower and lower as I struggle to get underneath the broom. Isthis

not what our journey through life is about?Society tells us that we must leap

over the worldly hurdles of life,vaulting our way to success, but I have found

the opposite to be true.God has seen to it that I have learned more by going

lower than I everhave by going higher. The ego is hell-bent on leaping higher,

but whatdoes the ego know?Of course the word limbo also means being in a state

of uncertainty,which is where faith is born. One needs no faith in the sun when

it isout; only in the darkness do we need faith in the light. Letting go

ofcertainty is a wisdom we are loathe to practice.If I told you that losing a

child to cancer brought me so low that Ifound God, you would have no

trouble believing me. If I told you that it made me no happier, would you

believe that, too? God is not aboutmaking you happy. He is about making you

whole. That He would dowhatever it takes for this to happen is the cosmic

joke.Wholeness ultimately is the happiest place to be, but we struggle withthis

for years and years. At least I did. You see, wholeness meansthat you must

reconcile your abject cowardice with your most magnificent courage. You must

balance your weak points with your God-given talents,limboing under the broom of

the opposites.When I see someone doing the limbo in my mind’s eye, there is

usally acrowd of onlookers clapping and cheering as you see “how low you cango.”

Does this not parallel humility in the face of our dailychallenges. Water seeks

the lowest spot and we are the ocean.Cancer has been a dominant theme in my

life. Not mine, but mydaughter’s, who got it at the age of three...and now my

husband’s. Ihave seen God holding out the broom and telling

me to go lower on manydifferent occasions. There was no clapping crowd....just

me and an oldbroom of crisis. Can you go under chemo, surgery and radiation.

Howabout death, grief and living in the absence of a beloved child. Golower.

Let go. Limbo lower now.Letting go is easy when you realize that God is holding

the broom. Whenyou see that the God within is up to the challenge that letting

gorequires. For limbo is not forever, although it may seem that way.I think

that letting go requires only one thing--wholeness. And I amgoing to tell you

how to get there immediately. Choose it. Chooseheart over head, humility over

height, and you will be healed by ahigher power than the mind.Hannah Hurnard

wrote a spiritual classic called Hinds’ Feet On HighPlaces. It is about the

journey of a character called Much Afraid. She sets out on the journey to the

high places, called by The GoodShepherd. Only He doesn’t seem so good to her

when He asks that shelearn to give love instead of

seek it from others. He seems willing tosacrifice her very life for Him. But

she begins her journey. He tellsher to hold the hands of Sorrow and Suffering,

two mysterious women who will help her on the journey.When Little Much Afraid

gets to the High Places, she has been promised anew name and that spurs her on.

Ultimately, after many challenges shereaches them, only to find that she must

cast herself down from the veryheights that she has taken such trouble to

ascend. She must limbo lower now, as the musical phrase commands.Of course, she

finds that in going lower, she fulfills the purpose ofher life--to serve instead

of seek the high places. It is a journey ofparadox and purpose. It is our

journey. When will we go lower by ownown choice and not have it forced from

us?I am not talking about humiliation; I am talking about humility.

Isn’tletting go a form of humility? And yes, we will be forced to do what we do

not choose consciously. That is how the game of life is

played.Maurice Nicoll, author of The Commentaries On The Teaching of

Gurdjieffand Ouspensky, was a great believer in willingness. He said if you

goto something willingly, you win. Choose to go lower instead of higher.The

mysterious limbo broom can heal you of unseen arrogance and manyother

negativities.Often God only talks to us when He gets us so low that we are

willing tolisten. Cancer often brings us to this point, as do many

otherlife-threatening situations. Will we have the faith to live in

limbo,letting go and going lower? Because God never breaks a promise to

Hischildren. “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.” Job 13:15.Victory is

assured when we choose humility over the ego’s height. Youcan’t think your way

into wholeness; you will be broken in the attempt.Schizophrenic thinking was

never meant to heal a broken heart.These days my heart is being challenged by

cancer for the second time in my life. I am honoring the old broom of limbo.

Will the battle against

cancer be won or lost? That is a wrong question and I am going tosuggest a

right one. Will the limbo take me lower than I want to go? Of course, it always

does, but I know Who is holding the broom.