Re:To Omenka on Asking for Help

[Guest guest]

Omenka Supriti Nnadi wrote:

 

The lesson I have learned because of Amma's grace is that asking for help is

the hardest thing for me to do because I was not raised to ask for help. I

was raised to hide everything and keep it in, chin up, etc. It is a tragedy

of my cultural upbringing. And this strategy almost led to my suicide

because I was hopeless and alone in my own monkey mind. The reality in my life

at

that time (before I met Amma) was that there was love all around me and

grace all around me and abundance all around me. Because of my own false

beliefs

that I was alone, I was miserable and did not see any love or grace or

abundance for me in this world.

 

 

Dear Omenka ~ I want to respond to what you said, because it resonated with

me very deeply, and in some ways our stories are similar, and in others

different. I believe that all of us in the American culture are taught to "go it

alone," to pull ourselves up "by our boostraps," to not ask for help, to hide.

I learned this in my family also. And this happened to me in my last job,

where I got so sick. A lot of the people involved with our organization knew I

was being overworked and that I was sick and getting worse, but the one person

who could have done something about it, chose not to, and she was also

someone I could not tell my situation to (she is definitely a "buck up"

person). I

had to leave my job because of my illness, and because of my naievite, I

believed that, once out of the environment, I would get better. I didn't, and

eventually had to go on disability, declare bankruptcy, lost my house, etc.

 

Then my family came rushing to my "rescue." They moved me from DC to Oregon

to live with my mom and stepdad, made all kinds of promises to me (which now

they have gone back on), and pretended to be happy I was there, buy me

"presents," etc., all the while being resentful about the money they were

spending.

Later I found out that my mother had been keeping a list of the money she

felt I owned her ($4,000!!!!), even though no one ever said to me, "we're

getting this for you, but we expect you to pay us back." I offered over and over

to contribute to rent, groceries, etc., and each time they said no, you don't

need to do that. So that was a kind of false help, a double edged sword, and

because I didn't live my life up to their expectations, for the most part they

don't have much to do with me now. And I went through terrible grief over

losing my family.

 

What I have seen here, with this group, and also, in the telling of your

story, is that the help that is given here, through the grace of Amma, is true,

unconditional, from the heart, no strings attached help. It is as if Amma has

released a dove from Her precious hands and that dove has flown straight into

our hearts, and so we are all connected here.

 

I know, like you said, it is hard for people to ask for help, or sometimes

to even talk of their difficulties, but this group, this "family of Amma" seems

to make it easier. I hope everyone feels free to talk of their bumps in the

road because I believe part of sadhana is offering an elbow, a hand, a

shoulder, to help each other when the bumps trip us up. Jai Ma ~ Linda