A miracle

[Guest guest]

Namaste Everyone,

 

Although I have been a model devotee in the past with my prayers and

meditations, doing japa and singing bhajans non stop every night, I have to

confess that although my heart is still more devoted to Amma than it could ever

be, I have not been the most ideal devotee in the present. I haven't prayed,

meditated, sang bhajans, nor have I did japa in about two months. Amma is still

here with me, waiting patiently for me to come back to reality, and I do have a

prayer here or there once in a while, but I have lost all sense of myself. I

have been smoking and drinking off and on when friends permit or opportunity

permits, mostly for stress related reasons which I'm sure anyone here can

relate. But today ... I came home and picked up an Amma book I had been reading

in the past and started to read. I read so fast . It was like I was so

thirsty...hungry even... to absorb myself in Amma. I couldn't get enough. I was

craving it more than ever. I read faster and faster wanting to hear more

and more. It was consuming me. The past few days I had a few donations which

have helped me get some things back in order. I was able to pay rent for another

month but I was still short on daycare. I was worried over it the past few days

on what I was going to do. But I can feel myself coming back and taking to heart

what Amma has alway taught us. To surrender ...that Mother will take care of

everything. As I went out on my porch tonight I looked up at my mail box which

had been empty before when I had came home, to find a letter waiting inside.

Even though there was no sent address on the outside....I knew...it was Amma. I

opened it up to find a check inside. Tears rolled off my cheeks. I looked up to

see big blue/black clouds and could only think of one person......Amma. I was

crying with a smile on my face and laughing at the same time. It is enough to

get me up to at least this weeks daycare bill. People keep sending money and

saying that they wish they could send more or that

their sorry they can't send more. But they have no idea how it helps me out.

Even a ten dollar bill can buy twenty bags of Ramen noodles! What you guys have

given me is enough. Its more than I would have had. So please accept my

gratitude. And know that you have all in some way or another answered this ones

prayers. Thank you kind brother for your generosity and compassion. Please

understand that you are an angel and have answered someones prayers tonight. And

I pray that we all have a better year in 2005, as you say. I hope you all go

with peace in your hearts tonight and know that you have helped this small one.

 

In Amma's love and arms,

Robin

 

 

 

 

 

 

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