Guest guest Posted September 24, 2004 Report Share Posted September 24, 2004 Everyone, I have been a total mess for about a week. Since July I have been a "model" devotee, getting up every morning, singing bhajans every night (or most), Mantra at least 3 or more times a day. Among other things to keep myself from waning on the path to liberation. This past week for the first time, I have drank alcohol,have been getting drunk with friends left and right, broke my promise to Amma on chanting my mantra at LEAST 108 a day, and I haven't been up at five for three days now. SOMETHING IS IN THE AIR HERE!! To come back and see all my brothers and sisters fighting is just very disappointing! All this negativity is disheartening and just FEEDS my anger even more. I had my VERY first dream of Amma last night, She came out of a hall and the woman who "normally" washed her feet left for a second and so I told Amma she would be back. Then Amma reached her hand to me and let me hold it for a long time and kiss it. She is reaching out to me, I just have to reach back. To come back to all this negativity has really brought only more anger and hopelessness. If this continues then I will take my name of the list and take a silence. May we all pray for peace within ourselves and within our group. Robin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 28, 2004 Report Share Posted September 28, 2004 Hi sweet Robin, Well, I guess all of us take our turns being model devotees and also problem children... Just hold on to that vision of Amma reaching out to you. And know that you are in my heart and in my prayers right now. I know you need to do what is best for you, but I hope you'll stay on the list. Your willingness to share so honestly and openly has helped me many a time. Much love to you, Amala --- Robin Wilson <lilymoonjewel wrote: > Everyone, > > I have been a total mess for about a week. Since > July I have been a "model" devotee, getting up every > morning, singing bhajans every night (or most), > Mantra at least 3 or more times a day. Among other > things to keep myself from waning on the path to > liberation. This past week for the first time, I > have drank alcohol,have been getting drunk with > friends left and right, broke my promise to Amma on > chanting my mantra at LEAST 108 a day, and I haven't > been up at five for three days now. SOMETHING IS IN > THE AIR HERE!! > To come back and see all my brothers and sisters > fighting is just very disappointing! All this > negativity is disheartening and just FEEDS my anger > even more. I had my VERY first dream of Amma last > night, She came out of a hall and the woman who > "normally" washed her feet left for a second and so > I told Amma she would be back. Then Amma reached her > hand to me and let me hold it for a long time and > kiss it. She is reaching out to me, I just have to > reach back. To come back to all this negativity has > really brought only more anger and hopelessness. If > this continues then I will take my name of the list > and take a silence. May we all pray for peace within > ourselves and within our group. > > Robin > > > > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > removed] > > New and Improved Mail - Send 10MB messages! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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