Meeting Amma

[Guest guest]

Namaste!!!!!!!!!!

 

I could NEVER thank you all enough for helping such a wondrous experience take

place within me. NEVER, NEVER, NEVER!!! Mother has TRULY answered prayer after

prayer these past few weeks. I found out the woman who is also a devotee and who

I was to drive with LIVED in the SAME TOWN as me! We TOTALLY hit it off right

off the bat. Two pea's in a pod! She really made me feel relaxed and welcome. I

was so nervous driving up to meet my DREAM OF DREAMS!!! I kept thinking "Man

this is going to feel so weird, I don't know these people, their customs are

strange, just really worried about the whole thing. When we arrived I started to

really shake uncontrollably. I just kept thinking I can't believe this is

happening, I CAN'T BELIEVE this is happening. It was like a mantra. I was

meeting a woman who I had meditated on as GOD for over three years!! It was too

impossible to be meeting her physical form. We approached the doors in Iowa,

Fairfield, I walked over took off my shoes, still a ball

of nerves, I walked into the hall and IMMEDIATELY felt at peace, still nervous,

but I looked around and thought...I'm home. These are truly my brothers and

sisters, all so beautiful, everyone of them. Adrian then led me up to get a

glimpse of our mother. Then...... my eyes fell on her and I stared to weep. I

instantly fell in love and knew that she was mine. I understood what everyone

had told me. I never took my eyes from her from that moment on for at least 6

hours straight. I found a seat right away and about three feet away. Just

staring at my mother, hugging child after child. I noticed her BEAMING smile,

her RADIANT eyes, her transparent heart, glowing within and without her. I felt

her compassion, her love, her Divine presence. I couldn't look away for EVEN a

second. I was transfixed. Mesmerized. Humbled. All the while she kept giving me

glances, some quite noticeable, like she was letting me know she knew I was

there. Like she was giving me glimpse of herself so that I could

come to terms with what was happening. It was a dance of getting to know my

mother physically, the way she moved her hand, the way she talked, the way she

laughed, the way she loved. Finally I just had a thought to look up at the

numbers and I had nearly missed my first darshan! I knew it was mother who had

whispered in my ear. I went up shaking and nervous. Not knowing what to expect.

My first meeting with the woman I have called mother for so long, but never met.

Finally I was gently pushed into her arms and all thought had left my mind,

eternal bliss all around me, peace filled me. My heart realized she really was

my mother. She didn't look me in the eye or smile at me the first darshan at

all. It was simply because my mind didn't FULLY and completely accept her yet,

and she knew it. It was her accepting me as I was, whether I accepted her or

not. After that I did some seva, a lot were surprised that I did this on the

first night but it came naturally. When I went back to the

hall I sat for some time just watching. It was then time for her to leave as

everyone was lining up to touch her hands on the way out my friend rushed me out

the door ahead of her to a spot in front. I had my hands in prayer full of

blessed petals. She walked RIGHT up to me started talking to me and had an

ATTITUDE!!! I have no idea to this day what she said to me, but in my heart it

was like "Its about TIME you got here! I was waiting for you long enough!" It

was either that or she was reprimanding me for steeling all her flower petals,

like "What haven't I blessed you enough already?" She then laughed at me touched

my hand and I heard loud and clear in my head, "Its ok" and she walked away

smiling. I was spiraling up into pure delight to have her talk to ME, I felt

like a nobody, WHY would she talk to ME of all people. I realized days later the

answer. I finally understood after everything that we really are each and

individually special to the Divine Mothers heart. She holds us

all close to her breast. No prejudges what so ever, and no one is ever a nobody

in her eyes. The next morning we were told to get there early, I wanted to see

if I could ask Amma two questions. Only 15 people are allowed to ask out of so

many hundreds and hundreds of people. I was amazingly chosen. I asked my

questions and got the answers I needed. Although I didn't fully understand right

away, I came to understand them later. I was so amazed to ask her questions and

have her give ME answers. It was too much. Later in the day someone told me to

come sit behind the guy doing the Kleenex. I was RIGHT there next to Amma, again

mesmerized, I knew it was her doing once again. Just to be within arms reach was

pure bliss itself! My gaze never wavering until hours later. I then received

darshan again and had my mantra along with some picture of her blessed. (I have

lost the pictures already and am praying that Amma sends them back to her

daughter!!!) I then went to do seva and I think she

had left. She left early to rest for Devi Bhava. As I was doing seva I was

cutting veggies and kept looking at her picture. As I was looking at her picture

I felt I very STRONGLY that I was looking at myself. It happened A LOT. It was

like THAT IS ME! Very odd. More odd than deja vu even! We then came back to Devi

Bhava that night and I was preparing to ask for a mantra from her. I didn't

really know what to expect, but was a little nervous so I kept breathing to calm

myself, which worked. I made it up to her and said "Amma mantra?" She LIT up

like a thousand light bulbs, her whole form seemed to change before my eyes. It

was an awesome site. Her radiant smile beaming down at me as she shook her head

really big and said YES! From that moment on I was humbled GREATLY. She had

excepted me as her own. Truly. In my eyes, she took me in under her wing and is

there to guide me into liberation, completely. Her lighting up the way she did

showed me she KNEW how much her "yes" meant to me.

And her acceptance was a HUGE deal to me. I then proceed to get my mantra from

her as she for the first time kissed me and whispered in my ear. It was her

complete acceptance. I was transformed from that point on. Humbled. I then went

to the Swami to learn how to say it and he explained the answer to my first

question. I knew Amma knew this answer would come to me. I then realized how

much care and effort she puts into initiating one of her children and became

even MORE humbled by it all. It was a serious matter to her. And she takes it

very seriously. Not to be thought of lightly. I had no idea at the time the

extent of it all. I could die happy at that point! I had everything and MORE

than I had ever dreamed of before!!! I was in pure heaven! Later that evening I

watched for a while, watching her scratch, cough, drink water, all these very

human things, I kept thinking "This isn't how god acts, why does she do these

things". My mind wouldn't let my heart be. Then went up stares

on the top to fall asleep on the floor for a few hours listening to bhajans. I

woke up a few hours later and came over to the side and looked down at Amma's

face, hours later, her eyes, ever radiant as in the morning, her smile, beaming

brighter than ever. Hours and hours later, no signs of tiredness, NEVER a yawn

the whole time I sat and watched her the entire 4 days. No sluggishness. There

was nothing. It was THEN that it all clicked in my soul. It was then that it all

fell into my heart and mind completely. It was then that I realized fully and

completely and with absolutely NO doubt.....THIS.... was god. It was pure and

simple. Yet it went ever so deep within me. It was THE turning point that put

ALL my faith in her completely. It was then that I surrendered all my soul to

her. It was in that small moment in time that my life would never be the same.

I... would never be the same. She was mine, and I was hers. I then went down

stairs to be near her and was told that I could go up

and take the flowers from her as she handed them to me. My heart swooned with

complete love, I was SO BLESSED and knew it. She wanted me near her at every

moment and she knew I wanted desperately to be near her. I stood behind her

hours and took blessed flowers from her hands, never tiring. Then Supriti came

up to get darshan, my dearest, beloved sister!!! She is so sweet and a true

inspiration!!! I love her dearly. Just to watch her was Divine Bliss, her

singing, her dancing, her talking. She is truly a daughter of mother and a

humbled devotee. To watch the love pour out from her eyes at our mother brought

me to tears. She was radiating with love for our Divine Mother. She hands Mother

a gift, a purse, and tells her its for her friend behind her. Me. Mother then

looks back at me, and hands it over to me. I was in awe. To have our mother hand

over such a special gift from my own sister, was a blessing itself. I opened it

up a day later, not knowing what was inside. It was a cloth

made in vibrant green. Exquisite. Supriti then told me later that it was a

piece of her Sari on Devi Bhava. Little did Supriti know that I had DREAMED

about getting such a piece of clothing in my own hands. Dearest sister you'll

never know how much I adore that gift. I will cherish it all of my days into

eternity. It is so precious to my heart. Thank you.

 

Second Journey to

Chicago to be continued......

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

There is NOTHING wrong with you. Sometimes this is what happens. Everyone is

different. Let go of your expectations. There will be more Hugs in your

future, so don't worry!

 

Jai Maa!

 

Surya

-

vals_052

Ammachi

Saturday, April 08, 2006 11:01 PM

meeting Amma

 

 

Hi all, I went to the public program in melbourne on Wednesday 5th and

saw Amma for the first time. This was an awesome experience, when i

first saw Her, i couldnt stop grinning. I really enjoyed hearing Her

speak, although i couldnt understand what She said her voice had a

soothing vibration to it. I was so looking forward to darshan, and

hoped to get a chance to speak to Her. But as you all know the hall

had a curfew so darshan was sped up... i understand this but i am

worried. I dont know if perhaps i had unrealistic expectations of

receiving Her blessing hug? i thought/hoped i would feel a change

within myself but i felt relatively indifferent...im worried that

becuase it was all rushed i was unable to go to Amma completely open?

or perhaps i just wasnt open at all? im so confused about this. I

believe everything Amma embodies and teaches so why was darshan not

what i expected. I am not complaining at all, I am soooo grateful that

i had the chance to be in Her arms (aswell as my mother who came

aswell) Im just so worried that theres something wrong with me...it

just felt so rushed. Any advice yous can give me will be a huge help!

 

Love Val

 

 

 

 

 

Aum Amriteswarayai Namaha!

 

 

 

 

 

a.. Visit your group "Ammachi" on the web.

 

b..

Ammachi

 

c..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Dear Val,

 

great that you went to see Amma and get darshan.

Nothing is wrong with you......everything with you and Amma went as it

was best.

RELAX and WAIT PATIENTLY, and observe what happens with yourself.

Divine Love flowed into you. The awakenings and changes are very

subtle...... usually it is an evolutionary process, and not a

revolutionary one.

 

Often , when I go for darshan something happens in my mind,and it

becomes a blur, and whatever I had planned to do or say gets lost on

the way, and whatever Amma wants happens. Over the years BIG changes

have happened in me . These changes happend one drop at a time; and

the drops add up and fill a cup, and so on. In the beginning, I was

not even really aware that they were happening.

 

You wrote that you could not stop grinning. Maybe you can keep on

grinning at a picture of Amma, if you have one, and through your grin

give the Light of God's Love to others. While marching in the parade

of nations, in Cochin in 2003, at Amma's 50th birthday celebration

(AV 50), I could feel the smile that was going through my face to the

onlookers lining the route, was a very special smile that was giving

something beautiful to others.... it was not the smile of my little

self, but instead it was Amma's Love flowing through me to others.

A few times, like during the parade, I felt absolutely wonderful;

glorious, in heaven so to say.

A few months later I asked Amma about this; why I had felt so well

sometimes at AV 50, and how I could keep this feeling, and have it

happen more often, and become a part of my life.

Amma answered me : " It was LOVE, because of Love."

Well at that moment, in Ocober, 2003,in London, I really did not

understand Amma's answer to my question.

 

I understand it more fully now. God is Love. At AV 50 it was Amma's

LOVE flowing big time. We were concentrating on participating in AV 50

with all of our minds and sweaty ,tired and exhausted bodies, and got

carried away in Amma's flow of LOVE.

Now, at home, I try daily to let that flow of Love into my heart,

and share it and bring it into everything I do. I am not always

successful in my efforts, but I am trying, and am a happier person

because of this this all.

 

Val, you are on a journey with Amma; the adventure of a lifetime.

Please share your ups and downs and doubts and joys with us.

It is very nice to have someone from Australia sharing on our List.

 

Here I repeat post Jyotsna's notes from what Amma said a couple of

days ago at the Kyneton retreat, and embodies Amma's goal for each one

of us.

 

In Amma's Love,

sarama - Iceland

===================================================================

"E. Lamb" <jyotsna2

Sat Apr 8, 2006 1:51 pm

Kyneton Q and A

 

Here are my notes from the Kyneton Question and Answer

session with Amma. Jyotsna

 

1. I want to know how I can love myself more.

 

A. In reality we are love, the embodiment of love. Even though

we are kings and queens of the universe, we have a deep-rooted

habit of begging. We live and die as beggars.

 

Loving oneself doesn't mean loving the ego. It means giving love,

not receiving it. Worldly love always has strings attached. It's

like a small snake swallowing a big frog. Both will struggle.

We love our cow as long as it gives milk; then we send it to

the slaughterhouse when it quits giving milk.

 

When we give love, we are actually loving ourselves. Expecting

love is like mixing salt with sweet pudding or ice cream. It will

lose it's flavor.

 

As children we had to depend on others. Perhaps because of this

we have forgotten our own nature. In reality we are not candles or

lamps that have to be lighted, but the luminous sun.

 

Depending on someone else for love or support is like a

one-legged person leaning on another one-legged person for

support.

 

In fact we have the unlimited power of love within us. Both a

porter and a scientist use their heads, only in different ways.

When we give love, our hearts open up. When we give love,

the whole world changes. It's difficult to keep a loving attitude,

but we should try. Expecting love from the world is like trying

to row a boat on land. Expecting love from the outside world

makes us weaker and eventually we collapse.

 

We need to awaken from childishness to a child-like state.

The scriptures say to arise and awaken. We have awakened,

but we are still lying in bed. We have not arisen.

 

Life is a pendulum; it swings back and forth between happiness

and unhappiness. The mid-point is the equilibrium. Loving

ourselves means developing good qualities within us.

 

Love is God. However much we talk about it, it is endless. It

is the quintessence of all scriptures. The problem is that we

start expecting love back, that's when the problem starts.

Love that springs from emotions is not true love. When love

grows and becomes more and more expansive it becomes

universal love.

 

Talking about love becomes boring. Experiencing it is the

answer. Only when you start loving will you know what

true love is.

 

_________________