Questions, Updates, First meeting with Amma

[Guest guest]

Namaste Dear Brothers and Sisters,

 

I want to thank all of you so much for praying for me. I feel so uplifted. I

have my faith restored. I am VERY grateful for that!! Thank you all so much for

your kindness! My headache is also gone and I have using the sacred ash more

sparingly. A special thanks to those of you who individually emailed me and for

keeping me in the Grace of Mother and for holding my hand when I needed it most.

:-) Today went a little hectic but I think I did well handling the situations.

My car was not fixed like it was suppose to be today but that was OK with me, I

knew that it would be taken care of. My boss let me take her car home for the

entire weekend. (What a Saint!) But right as we were getting off for work early

her mother had been in a car accident and had to use her car and rush over too

meet her and make sure everything was OK. She then proceeded to call another

co-worker and friend and asked if she could bring me up to meet her so that she

could drive to her sisters work and they could

all drive back home so that I could use HER car. I was dumb founded at this and

started to cry because I didn't want to be a burden to her while she was having

a hard time taking care of her mother. I insisted that my friend call her back

and tell her NO that I would find another way or drive my own car if necessary

but she wouldn't take no for an answer. In any case her mother was fine and all

turned out to be well. I ended up taking her car home for the weekend. Some

people go way out of there way for others it shows true compassion. She had to

take care of her mother and was trying her best to take care of me all week, it

is very touching.

 

Well I must pour out my heart here and tell you that I might finally get to

meet Mother for the first time after a little over three years of being a

devotee. It all depends on if my ex can get off on the two days to Iowa or the

two days to Chicago to take me down there. I have also posted that if anyone

could take me there and back from St. Louis on the web site. I'm just so nervous

about this whole thing, riding with people I don't know. And I have no money to

stay in a room there. I might be able to buy something to eat along the way. If

my ex and I go we will stay in our car for the night. Which I don't mind either

way. As long as I get to see Amma!! I have so many mixed emotions about this. I

was hoping that all of you might share your stories with me on how long you were

devotees before finally meeting with Amma and what was the first experience

like? Did you cry? Did you not? Did you feel "something" or not? Tell me EVERY

detail!! How did the trip go? etc etc. How long does

it take to sit and wait in line? Everything. How do I see if I may get a mantra

at Devi Bhava? Is this the only time I can do so? Will I understand her if she

whispers this in my ear?? How long will I get a hug? How long does it SEEM to

last? How do I see if she will give me a name? This list could go on I will stop

bombarding you all with questions. (blush) I just know that I have

DREAMED..........!! of this day sense I was a small child. I have always had

faith in the Divine somehow, even without being brought up spiritually and my

parents never believing in such things. I felt it. I have always believed. I had

always wondered what it would be like if I met Jesus. This is it for me! Amma

Is my Jesus. This is SUCH a long awaited day. A life time. An eon. An eternity.

A long path of looking, searching, learning, and discovering. A long road of

different paths that lead me to Hinduism, which lead me to Ammachi. I'm going to

meet my GURU!! GOD!! GODDESS!! THE DIVINE MOTHER!! This is

not even CLOSE to how my heart feels at this point. Excitement, Fear,

Happiness, Love, Doubt, Amazement, Humble, Gifted, Blessed, Blessed, BLESSED!!!

My heart will be so shattered if it does not come into being. To wait another

agonizing year for her to come back. She HAS to let me come!!! She just HAS

to!! Every time I hear this song I think of this day that might happen next week

or it will happen at a later time. Its by Mercy Me:

 

I CAN ONLY IMAGINE

I can only imagine what it will be like

When I walk by your side

I can only imagine what my eyes will see

When you face is before me

I can only imagine

Surrounded by your glory

What will my heart feel

Will I dance for you Amma

Or in awe of you be still

Will I stand in your presence

Or to my knees will I fall

Will I sing Hallelujah

Will I be able to speak at all

I can only imagine when all I do

Is forever, forever worship you

I can only imagine.

 

At Amma's Lotus Feet,

Robin

 

 

A Thousand Prostration's to Our Divine Mother Ammachi!!!

OM SHANTI, SHANTI, SHANTI

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Namaste Robin,

 

That is great that you are going. Leave all the worries to Amma, She

will work it out. Now that you have decided that you want to meet

Amma, it is now Amma's job to arrange everything for you :-). I will

bet that you will not need to sleep on the darshan nights (usually I

sleep only 1-2 hours on darshan days with Amma, there is such a

surcharge of energy around Her). All the other stuff, nothing to

worry about.

 

Regarding first experiences, mine was ECSTASY - to put it succintly.

I cried non-stop for 4 hours (I was actually embarrassed that those

sitting around me would think I was so effiminate LOL). Needless to

say, that everyone's experience is unique. Sometimes nothing happens -

and yet this may be the BEST thing (as Amma is hard on work on the

inside ).

 

I met Mathew in San Ramon; he was the one who was featured on Seattle

times hugging Amma. And we both concurred that around Amma there is a

remarkable degree of synchronicity; events happen magically. Just to

give an example, I am thinking of mangoes and dream about how nice it

will be to have a mango to eat; and then I pray to Amma to send me

some mangoes. The next instant I feel guilty that here I am praying

for trifles, when I should be doing serious sadhana. And then all of

a sudden, someone comes by and hands me a mango ( I just made this up

to give you an idea ).

 

Wish you all the best,

-yogaman

 

ps. the headache is a good sign; it is like the body pains after the

first rigorous workout in years. It looks like you have great promise

as a meditator.

 

 

Ammachi, Robin Wilson <lilymoonjewel>

wrote:

> Namaste Dear Brothers and Sisters,

>

> I want to thank all of you so much for praying for me. I feel so

[Guest guest]

Ammachi, "childofdevi" <childofdevi>

wrote:

> Namaste Robin,

>

>Just to give an example, I am thinking of mangoes and dream about

> how nice it

> will be to have a mango to eat; and then I pray to Amma to send me

> some mangoes. The next instant I feel guilty that here I am

praying

> for trifles, when I should be doing serious sadhana. And then all

of

> a sudden, someone comes by and hands me a mango ( I just made this

up

> to give you an idea ).

>

> Wish you all the best,

> -yogaman

 

This is not made up, yogaman. something like this actually happened

to me in Detroit on November 16, 2002 (my birthday and Devi Bhava in

Detroit!)

 

I had gone there expecting to ask Amma for an apple on my

birthday... but my token # was in the 1300's, so I knew I would get

my darshan only after midnight, meaning the 17th.... That was

unacceptable to me! (on another level, I knew how silly this wish

was, and that Amma would give me the blessings with or without an

apple, but I was emotioanlly tied to 'wanting an apple from Amma').

 

Anyway, it was around 11:30, and I inquired from the line monitor if

I could get darshan coz tis my birthday... she said this is allowed

but wait for 20 more mins! Bliss! then anxiety of missing!

 

anyway, to cut a long story short, after an agonizing wait of 20

mins, I got up to get to meet my darling.... We had a delightful

conversation in Malayalam, and Sw. Ramakrishnananda too was looking.

( I value that too much to disclose it here).

 

Anyways, the bliss and the ecstasy of the meeting was so great, that

I forgot to 'remind' Her it's my birthday, and I remembered it only

while meditating beside Her (she asked me to sit on the raised

platform beside Her... I got a space some 5 feet away from her).

 

The moment that thought came, I gasped inwardly, then consoled

myself "this much bliss is enough for one night!". I think I must

have had a smile on my face while my eyes were closed.

 

Suddenly, I felt the need to open my eyes, and voila! Swami

Ramakrishnananda was standing in front of me. He smiled and

said "Amma asked me to give you this" and he gave me an apple!!!

 

Jai MaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

 

P.S.: I met Swami a couple of months later at Amritapuri, and shared

with him that experience. He told me that there was a lot of noise

on the stage that night, and as he was more than hearing distance

from Her, he could not get Amma's words clearly, but he gathered

that Amma wanted him to give me the apple.... looks like Amma works

on a need-to-know basis with everybody, no excpetions!

[Guest guest]

Dear Robin,

 

My husband and I have a mini-suite in a hotel just less than a mile

away from the Naperville site. I *believe* that it has a couch and

if so, you are open to crash on it. Email me at niseema at gmail dot

com if you want to talk about it.

 

My first darshan was BLISS. The first time I saw Amma walk through

the door, I started shaking and crying. My first darshan (which I we

had token 0-50 for!! I think we were within the first 10) was

amazing too. I didn't quite know what to do and it all seemed to go

by sooo fast. However, when you are in Mother's arms it seems to

last just long enough.

 

The next day (so, my second darshan) when my husband and I went up,

she hugged him for at least 2-3 minutes!! I was standing there, wide-

eyed and staring at her, while he got the longest darshan! I was

jealous for a second but realized that I got to see her up close for

such a long time, and watch her talking and moving and shaking her

head. When she took me into her arms, it was as if I was the first

person ever, and she cooed "daughter daughter daughter". I loved it.

 

Ooooooooooh! Just thinking about this makes butterflies come to my

tummy! I'm so excited for next weekend!!!

 

With love,

Always Amma's Girl,

Erica

[Guest guest]

P.S. Robin, I think we're going to cook at least a couple of times

in our mini-suite, so if you don't mind Indian food, let me know and

you're welcome to break bread with us.

 

Ammachi, "Erica" <sugarandbrine> wrote:

> Dear Robin,

>

> My husband and I have a mini-suite in a hotel just less than a

mile

> away from the Naperville site. I *believe* that it has a couch and

[Guest guest]

> Suddenly, I felt the need to open my eyes, and voila! Swami

> Ramakrishnananda was standing in front of me. He smiled and

> said "Amma asked me to give you this" and he gave me an apple!!!

>

> Jai MaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

>

> P.S.: I met Swami a couple of months later at Amritapuri, and

 

 

LOL! Jai MAA! It is incidents like this that convince someone of a

somewhat skeptical bent of mind like me, of Amma's omniscience (She

makes a good show of pretending to know nothing). I recall you had

said earlier in a post that this was the day that you had decided to

accept Amma alone as your Satguru, perhaps this incident was a

catalyst for that decision.

 

I think there are some ingredients to getting such surprises from

Amma - request with a childish faith firmly convinced that Amma will

grant this wish, remove all expectation that the wish will happen in

such and such manner (the moment I have a though of Amma behaving in

a certain manner, I know it will not happen) and the surprise comes

when you least expect it.

 

Thank you for sharing this!

 

-yogaman