Waiting for Mother

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Om Namah Shivaya,

 

Life post-darshan has become little more than waiting

until my next darshan.

 

I returned to Austin from the Seattle/Tacoma retreat

on Monday night feeling like I was leaving home rather

than returning. Tuesday I spent the whole day with

only half my mind on my job, the other half trying to

figure out how I could get back to Mother quickly.

Today is worse; I'm feeling slightly depressed and

detached, only wishing I could be back with Her. I'll

see Her again in three and a half weeks, but I'm

afraid I'll feel worse after that knowing I won't see

Her again for a year.

 

Ma, please be with me. I feel lonely without you.

 

This is my second year with Mother, and the connection

grows deeper. For the first time, I can actually hear

Her Voice sometimes. My second darshan of the retreat

I felt the first tangible effects for long minutes

after. Each time I see Her, and slowly as time

passes, it's as if She's slowly turning the dial on a

combination in my soul and every now and then I feel

something fall into place.

 

Today I'm weepy for Mother and for the atmosphere of

the retreat.

 

~~~

 

Yogaman, thank you very much for the ride from the

airport. I looked for you after DB to say I needed a

later ride, but couldn't find you. I apologize if I

held you up.

 

Jyotsna, so much to thank you for it will take a

personal email at a later date. I very much look

forward to seeing you in Dallas.

 

Kalika, and everyone else I met: the connection runs

deep and I miss you.

 

To the woman I spoke with at the jewely table when I

was doing security seva: The $700 for the chain and

gem will BUY A HOME for a family in India. You did a

good thing, and you have the shakti in those items to

wear close to your heart. I'll never forget our

conversation.

 

I can't write more about the retreat yet, but I'm

taking notes in my journal to share later.

 

Om Namah Shivaya,

With a deep longing for Mother,

Gabriela

 

 

 

 

 

 

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