UPS and DOWNS

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 4/24/04 11:05:07 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

oomenka writes:

 

<< I do want to move forward NOW, no more ignorance, no more stupor, I want

to be Amma's girl, I want to be happy and peaceful. I can see it now on my

horizon, rising like the sun and engulfing me, the night chases me into the sun

and my fear is getting smaller each day, I must keep going, I must I must I

must.

>>

Dear Amma's girl:

 

This is so sweet and precious!! I loved reading your email. I can feel Ammas

breath throughout!

In Loves Service

malati

[Guest guest]

Regarding your ups and downs Gabriela Rios Relapse

 

I too have been struggling lately, lots of negative self talk coming up in my

mind and feelings of depression and worthlessness. It is as if a dark cloud is

following me above my head and unless I open my mouth and say a mantra or sing

or meditate - the cloud closes in like a dense fog around my spirit and my joy

disappears. I am hanging on and the advice I have from Amma is to keep going,

don't stop, don't give up.

 

I realized recently that I am on the verge of realizing a great change in my

life, away from the formerly comfortable chaos and drama to the "Uncomfortable"

peace and joy of living in Amma's grace and the divine reality we all seek. I

am mourning the drama and the trauma because it was who I was (I mistakenly

believed), I am mourning the sins and the bad things I used to think were

"normal" - I am mourning the "old invisible, fearful, shadow of the Self I used

to be. I am looking back even now with intense longing to immerse myself in

alchohol and drugs and at the same time I fully realize that I am a wonderful

spiritual being and that I stand at the threshold of jumping up, into happiness

and comfort and ease. The "new" me is SO uncomfortable and SO delicious at the

same time, My foot that is stuck in the mire of the old ways and habits and my

foot that is happy and peaceful pull equally strongly and I am feeling so stuck.

I keep doing all the things I know bring peace and joy

even as I murmur and grumble and worry about it to myself.

 

Why can't I live anymore in ignorance and the stupor that I believed was peace

and joy I whine.

 

I do want to move forward NOW, no more ignorance, no more stupor, I want to be

Amma's girl, I want to be happy and peaceful. I can see it now on my horizon,

rising like the sun and engulfing me, the night chases me into the sun and my

fear is getting smaller each day, I must keep going, I must I must I must.

 

 

 

 

Om Namashivaya - In Amma's service,

 

Supriti Omenka Nnadi

 

 

 

Photos: High-quality 4x6 digital prints for 25¢

 

 

[Guest guest]

--- Omenka Supriti Nnadi <oomenka wrote:

>

 

>> I want to be Amma's girl,

 

 

I am reminded of the old song "Bobby's Girl" by

one-hit wonder Marcy Blaine:

 

(You're not a kid anymore)

(You're not a kid anymore)

 

When people ask of me,

What would you like to be

Now that your not a kid anymore.

(You're not a kid anymore)

 

I know just what to say,

I answer right away,

Theres just one thing I've been wishing for...

 

I want to be Amma's girl

I want to be Amma's girl,

That's the most important thing to me...

 

lyrics cribbed from

execpc.com/~suden/bobbys_girl.html

 

 

I know my oldies. For what it's worth (Buffalo

Springfield, 1967), I couldn't resist posting this

reply

 

 

Keval

 

 

 

 

 

 

Photos: High-quality 4x6 digital prints for 25¢

ph/print_splash

[Guest guest]

Namah Shivaya Keval and all,

Great warm laugh you gave me! Makes me want to reply,

 

"There's somethin' happenin' here...." again for what it's worth

(Buffalo Springfield).

 

Jai Ma!

Omana

 

> I know my oldies. For what it's worth (Buffalo

> Springfield, 1967), I couldn't resist posting this

> reply

>

>

> Keval