Back from India

April 8, 2004

Om Namah Shivaya dear brothers and sisters!

I want to apologize for failing to keep in touch during my stay at

Amritapuri and on tour with our beloved Amma. The tour was quite

intense as you can imagine and I had little time and energy to e-

mail. The tour was very challenging for me, and I literally only sat

on stage for a total of three hours the entire tour (!!!!) Unlike

most of the other devotees, I did not push my body by staying up late

serving Amma - so I always ended up missing the evening programs -

While I feel like I failed to take full advantage of Amma's blessed

presence and regret not serving Her with greater intensity and

commitment, I am eager to return to the ashram where I am more

willing to engage in tapas (My anxiety about getting sick on tour

made it difficult for me to surrender to the physical demands,

whereas at the ashram, I found it much easier to surrender to the

heat generated by the tapas).

The last I saw Amma, She was in the small camper with us discussing

the (second!!) accident which the Amrita bus had with a jeep on the

way to Jaipur. Though the circumstances were very inauspicious,

Amma's presence helped to ease our minds and comfort our

hearts....some of the devotees that were in the second major accident

had to come onto our camper because the amrita bus was not drivable

(the front tires came off and there was glass everywhere). A short

while after leaving the scene of the accident, we noticed Amma's

camper stopped ahead of our camper. Suddenly, I heard someone

saying, "Amma is coming on the camper!" My mind stood still as I saw

Her radiant form ascending up the steps of the camper - I couldn't

believe She was actually standing directly in front of me!! We all

felt incredibly grateful, as She didn't need to come onto our camper -

The Swami said that Amma told them to stop Her camper because She

sensed something was wrong (on our camper). Amma informed us that the

two men in the jeep (whose limp, lifeless bodies we witnessed being

put in the Swami's car) were okay and that one of them had a cut on

his face but was able to phone his relatives. She said it was the

first time in 20 years that such a major accident occured on tour -

and one of the devotees (Anupama?) mentioned that it was the second

accident and that it was the same bus (Amrita bus) that was in the

first accident (which involved our vehicle). Amma's expression was

that of deep concern, though we felt that She orchestrated the entire

event and was merely "acting" for our sake....we also knew that it

was Her grace which prevented anyone from being severely injured (as

in the first accident, there were only minor injuries, though the men

in the jeep seemed to be quite badly hurt).

As She glanced around at those of us in the camper, She said that

Western devotees had a harder time dealing with the accident and that

Indians are used to this kind of thing. The entire time She was

speaking, She was directly in front of me, an arm length away. Her

scent and Shakti permeated the camper and intoxicated us all....

I will write more soon regarding my experiences on tour and with Amma

at Amritapuri:)

In Amma's Divine service,

Niscala

April 9, 2004

Kirsten <anandam33 wrote:Om Namah Shivaya dear brothers and sisters!