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Erica

Ammachi

Friday, March 26, 2004 4:18 PM

Dixie

 

Namaste, Niseema and All,

 

I'm here and loved the message. I've just been quiet lately; read every day,

but haven't been writing much. All's well and I really am enjoying the

communications/discussions, but every time I get ready to respond - and have

several times - it almost feels like I'm under a gag order! I end up deleting

whatever I've written because it feels like it's already "gone" wherever it was

supposed to go or the need to comment just evaporates.

 

I'm currently reading "Hindu for Dummies" (or something to that effect; I'm

not good with titles). I finished reading "Daughter of Fire" and am so grateful

for the reference to it - my mind has been engaged with it for some time now

because it addressed so many things I struggle with. I know we've all talked

several times about there not being any real need for us to be physically in the

Guru's presence to benefit, but I so want that experience for myself. Mrs.

Tweedie in the book makes it clear that she did continue to grow spritually

while separated from her Master, but the beauty of her comments about simply

sitting there beside him and absorbing his presence makes me long to be able to

do that with Amma. What I would give to just be able to sit and look at Her!

My mind still has so many questions: what is She like "inside"? I've read so

often that the Great Ones have no need/desire for the cognition of the mind as

we think of it, and are, instead conduits for That; what must that be like? How

huge is Mother's grace? Is there really any of the personality left that was

originally born into Amma's body or was there a "human"

there ever?

 

And I am, blast it, still wishing I could let go of all of this and simply be.

I read once that Yogananda said that one of the functions of life as a

householder is to make us tire of it and turn to spiritual things, and I've read

several times that it is understood that some men in India - perhaps of a

specifc caste? - will retire from life as householder in middle-late middle age

and become celibate and focused on the spiritual (I think this was in my

Ramakrishna readings): while I'm female, this seems to be where I am. So much

in my life over the past 20 - and very specifically the last 6-10 years, have

led me to be in a position I could never have imagined for myself that I can't

help but think there's a reason for it. I still keep dreaming of being here in

my forest yard with animals and people just coming and going at their own behest

and in perfect peace, and in the dream I am nothing more or less in the picture

than a dog, a tree, or the strangers who stop here for refuge. I'm fairly

certain it is not for now, but I feel like I am in somewhat of a holding pattern

until it is the time for whatever is ahead; I jsut keep doing my japa, reading

about the Masters, and entreating Mother to dance a fire dance of grace and love

in every cell of my body every second of every day.

SO.......................... dear Niseema, are you still glad you asked?

 

I love all of you so much and would be truly be lost without our satsang.

 

Still awe at Mother's feet,

Dixie

 

 

Dear brothers and sisters,

 

Where is our sister Dixie?

 

Dixxxxxxxxieeeeeeee where aaaaaaaaaaaare youuuuuuuuuuuu?

 

With love,

Niseema

 

 

 

Aum Amriteswarayai Namaha!

 

 

 

 

Links

 

Ammachi/

 

b..

Ammachi

 

c..

 

 

 

 

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Dearest Dixie,

 

While I am not quite middle-aged in this life, I can certainly

understand where you are coming from on this topic!! I have felt from

a very young age (13) that I wasn't meant to be "like everyone else",

wasn't meant to be a householder. A very advanced sadhak once told

me, "You're not meant to wander the earth in a loin cloth and

meditate in this life. So, you have to do what is best for yourself

in this life and honor God the way that you are meant to." He told me

to wake up every morning, wear nice clothes, and walk daily. I asked

him what this had to do with sadhana, and he said "It *is* your

sadhana".

 

I took a lot from that. I try, now, to look at each and every bit of

life as a learning spiritual experience. It is my karma that I am a

householder and rather than fight it, I'm going to try and progress

as much as I can so that I can move forward in my next life.

 

Our minds tend to run away with themselves. The mind is nothing more

than an extension of the ego. If the mind is asking questions, then

the ego is longing for answers and also longing for more attention.

The ego tries to talk us out of putting faith in our Ma, because the

ego wants to be the all-knowing and all-powerful. It's a strong

force! So, give the mind a toy. When it starts running away with

itself, I give my mind the "toy" of my mantra. "Here, mind, play with

this and do not *think*, but rather only chant for your Ma." My mind

calms almost instantly (including when I am longing to engage in

addictive/destructive behaviours).

 

I don't think that we will ever know what goes on inside of Her head,

because we are not on Her level. Take peace in knowing that your Ma

will give you what you need, when you need it.

 

Iswari reminded me very strongly a couple of weeks ago -- "Where

there is love there is no distance". Feeling Amma's presence and

gazing into her face, feeling her warm embrace, hearing her

voice...these things are beautiful and wonderful experiences. I long

for our Mother. However, I try and keep her close to my heart by

talking to Her daily. Not just praying to Her or singing to Her, but

actually *talking* to Her. For instance, when I hear the birds sing,

I say to Her (inside my head, lest others think I'm a nutcase), "I

hear you, Ma. I hear you singing..."

 

Everything is in Mother. Mother is in everything, including you, dear

Dixie.

 

I will say a prayer for you, dear.

 

With love,

Your sister in Amma,

Niseema

 

>

> Namaste, Niseema and All,

>

> I'm here and loved the message. I've just been quiet lately;

read every day, but haven't been writing much. All's well and I

really am enjoying the communications/discussions, but every time I

get ready to respond - and have several times - it almost feels like

I'm under a gag order! I end up deleting whatever I've written

because it feels like it's already "gone" wherever it was supposed to

go or the need to comment just evaporates.

>

> I'm currently reading "Hindu for Dummies" (or something to that

effect; I'm not good with titles). I finished reading "Daughter of

Fire" and am so grateful for the reference to it - my mind has been

engaged with it for some time now because it addressed so many things

I struggle with. I know we've all talked several times about there

not being any real need for us to be physically in the Guru's

presence to benefit, but I so want that experience for myself. Mrs.

Tweedie in the book makes it clear that she did continue to grow

spritually while separated from her Master, but the beauty of her

comments about simply sitting there beside him and absorbing his

presence makes me long to be able to do that with Amma. What I would

give to just be able to sit and look at Her! My mind still has so

many questions: what is She like "inside"? I've read so often that

the Great Ones have no need/desire for the cognition of the mind as

we think of it, and are, instead conduits for That; what must that be

like? How huge is Mother's grace? Is there really any of the

personality left that was originally born into Amma's body or was

there a "human"

> there ever?

>

> And I am, blast it, still wishing I could let go of all of this

and simply be. I read once that Yogananda said that one of the

functions of life as a householder is to make us tire of it and turn

to spiritual things, and I've read several times that it is

understood that some men in India - perhaps of a specifc caste? -

will retire from life as householder in middle-late middle age and

become celibate and focused on the spiritual (I think this was in my

Ramakrishna readings): while I'm female, this seems to be where I

am. So much in my life over the past 20 - and very specifically the

last 6-10 years, have led me to be in a position I could never have

imagined for myself that I can't help but think there's a reason for

it. I still keep dreaming of being here in my forest yard with

animals and people just coming and going at their own behest and in

perfect peace, and in the dream I am nothing more or less in the

picture than a dog, a tree, or the strangers who stop here for

refuge. I'm fairly certain it is not for now, but I feel like I am

in somewhat of a holding pattern until it is the time for whatever is

ahead; I jsut keep doing my japa, reading about the Masters, and

entreating Mother to dance a fire dance of grace and love in every

cell of my body every second of every day.

> SO.......................... dear Niseema, are you still glad you

asked?

>

> I love all of you so much and would be truly be lost without our

satsang.

>

> Still awe at Mother's feet,

> Dixie

>

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Hari OM! OM Amriteswariye Namaha!

 

Dear Niseema,

 

Your email is interesting, You said may continue in next birth, YOu

know in what form you are going to be in next birth or in birth

after that???

 

Now we have been given the Human birth, which is the best equipment

given to us because of our karma, so Please do not keep anything

expecting next birth. This is the only time we can realize, there is

nothing like that only who wears a loin cloth can realize GOD.

Pleasee.... most of our Rishis were householers! simple and humble

ones.

 

May Amma Bless you with the knowledge you deserve

 

With Love & OM!

 

OM Nama Shivaya!

OM Amriteswariye Namaha!

 

Krishna Prasad

 

 

 

Ammachi, "Erica" <sugarandbrine> wrote:

> Dearest Dixie,

>

> While I am not quite middle-aged in this life, I can certainly

> understand where you are coming from on this topic!! I have felt

from

> a very young age (13) that I wasn't meant to be "like everyone

else",

> wasn't meant to be a householder. A very advanced sadhak once told

> me, "You're not meant to wander the earth in a loin cloth and

> meditate in this life. So, you have to do what is best for

yourself

> in this life and honor God the way that you are meant to." He told

me

> to wake up every morning, wear nice clothes, and walk daily. I

asked

> him what this had to do with sadhana, and he said "It *is* your

> sadhana".

>

> I took a lot from that. I try, now, to look at each and every bit

of

> life as a learning spiritual experience. It is my karma that I am

a

> householder and rather than fight it, I'm going to try and

progress

> as much as I can so that I can move forward in my next life.

>

> Our minds tend to run away with themselves. The mind is nothing

more

> than an extension of the ego. If the mind is asking questions,

then

> the ego is longing for answers and also longing for more

attention.

> The ego tries to talk us out of putting faith in our Ma, because

the

> ego wants to be the all-knowing and all-powerful. It's a strong

> force! So, give the mind a toy. When it starts running away with

> itself, I give my mind the "toy" of my mantra. "Here, mind, play

with

> this and do not *think*, but rather only chant for your Ma." My

mind

> calms almost instantly (including when I am longing to engage in

> addictive/destructive behaviours).

>

> I don't think that we will ever know what goes on inside of Her

head,

> because we are not on Her level. Take peace in knowing that your

Ma

> will give you what you need, when you need it.

>

> Iswari reminded me very strongly a couple of weeks ago -- "Where

> there is love there is no distance". Feeling Amma's presence and

> gazing into her face, feeling her warm embrace, hearing her

> voice...these things are beautiful and wonderful experiences. I

long

> for our Mother. However, I try and keep her close to my heart by

> talking to Her daily. Not just praying to Her or singing to Her,

but

> actually *talking* to Her. For instance, when I hear the birds

sing,

> I say to Her (inside my head, lest others think I'm a nutcase), "I

> hear you, Ma. I hear you singing..."

>

> Everything is in Mother. Mother is in everything, including you,

dear

> Dixie.

>

> I will say a prayer for you, dear.

>

> With love,

> Your sister in Amma,

> Niseema

>

> >

> > Namaste, Niseema and All,

> >

> > I'm here and loved the message. I've just been quiet lately;

> read every day, but haven't been writing much. All's well and I

> really am enjoying the communications/discussions, but every time

I

> get ready to respond - and have several times - it almost feels

like

> I'm under a gag order! I end up deleting whatever I've written

> because it feels like it's already "gone" wherever it was supposed

to

> go or the need to comment just evaporates.

> >

> > I'm currently reading "Hindu for Dummies" (or something to

that

> effect; I'm not good with titles). I finished reading "Daughter

of

> Fire" and am so grateful for the reference to it - my mind has

been

> engaged with it for some time now because it addressed so many

things

> I struggle with. I know we've all talked several times about

there

> not being any real need for us to be physically in the Guru's

> presence to benefit, but I so want that experience for myself.

Mrs.

> Tweedie in the book makes it clear that she did continue to grow

> spritually while separated from her Master, but the beauty of her

> comments about simply sitting there beside him and absorbing his

> presence makes me long to be able to do that with Amma. What I

would

> give to just be able to sit and look at Her! My mind still has so

> many questions: what is She like "inside"? I've read so often

that

> the Great Ones have no need/desire for the cognition of the mind

as

> we think of it, and are, instead conduits for That; what must that

be

> like? How huge is Mother's grace? Is there really any of the

> personality left that was originally born into Amma's body or was

> there a "human"

> > there ever?

> >

> > And I am, blast it, still wishing I could let go of all of

this

> and simply be. I read once that Yogananda said that one of the

> functions of life as a householder is to make us tire of it and

turn

> to spiritual things, and I've read several times that it is

> understood that some men in India - perhaps of a specifc caste? -

> will retire from life as householder in middle-late middle age and

> become celibate and focused on the spiritual (I think this was in

my

> Ramakrishna readings): while I'm female, this seems to be where I

> am. So much in my life over the past 20 - and very specifically

the

> last 6-10 years, have led me to be in a position I could never

have

> imagined for myself that I can't help but think there's a reason

for

> it. I still keep dreaming of being here in my forest yard with

> animals and people just coming and going at their own behest and

in

> perfect peace, and in the dream I am nothing more or less in the

> picture than a dog, a tree, or the strangers who stop here for

> refuge. I'm fairly certain it is not for now, but I feel like I

am

> in somewhat of a holding pattern until it is the time for whatever

is

> ahead; I jsut keep doing my japa, reading about the Masters, and

> entreating Mother to dance a fire dance of grace and love in every

> cell of my body every second of every day.

> > SO.......................... dear Niseema, are you still glad

you

> asked?

> >

> > I love all of you so much and would be truly be lost without

our

> satsang.

> >

> > Still awe at Mother's feet,

> > Dixie

> >

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Dear Krishna Prasad,

 

I do not mean to imply that only renunciates can realize God. I mean

to debunk that idea!! I think that you may have misread/misunderstood

what I was saying.

 

Even if I am not in human form in next birth, there is still much

spiritual work to be done for all beings.

 

Sorry if my email confused what I was actually trying to say.

 

With love,

Niseema

 

Ammachi, "Krishna Prasad" <rkrishp99>

wrote:

> Hari OM! OM Amriteswariye Namaha!

>

> Dear Niseema,

>

> Your email is interesting, You said may continue in next birth, YOu

> know in what form you are going to be in next birth or in birth

> after that???

>

> Now we have been given the Human birth, which is the best equipment

> given to us because of our karma, so Please do not keep anything

> expecting next birth. This is the only time we can realize, there

is

> nothing like that only who wears a loin cloth can realize GOD.

> Pleasee.... most of our Rishis were householers! simple and humble

> ones.

>

> May Amma Bless you with the knowledge you deserve

>

> With Love & OM!

>

> OM Nama Shivaya!

> OM Amriteswariye Namaha!

>

> Krishna Prasad

>

>

>

> Ammachi, "Erica" <sugarandbrine> wrote:

> > Dearest Dixie,

> >

> > While I am not quite middle-aged in this life, I can certainly

> > understand where you are coming from on this topic!! I have felt

> from

> > a very young age (13) that I wasn't meant to be "like everyone

> else",

> > wasn't meant to be a householder. A very advanced sadhak once

told

> > me, "You're not meant to wander the earth in a loin cloth and

> > meditate in this life. So, you have to do what is best for

> yourself

> > in this life and honor God the way that you are meant to." He

told

> me

> > to wake up every morning, wear nice clothes, and walk daily. I

> asked

> > him what this had to do with sadhana, and he said "It *is* your

> > sadhana".

> >

> > I took a lot from that. I try, now, to look at each and every bit

> of

> > life as a learning spiritual experience. It is my karma that I am

> a

> > householder and rather than fight it, I'm going to try and

> progress

> > as much as I can so that I can move forward in my next life.

> >

> > Our minds tend to run away with themselves. The mind is nothing

> more

> > than an extension of the ego. If the mind is asking questions,

> then

> > the ego is longing for answers and also longing for more

> attention.

> > The ego tries to talk us out of putting faith in our Ma, because

> the

> > ego wants to be the all-knowing and all-powerful. It's a strong

> > force! So, give the mind a toy. When it starts running away with

> > itself, I give my mind the "toy" of my mantra. "Here, mind, play

> with

> > this and do not *think*, but rather only chant for your Ma." My

> mind

> > calms almost instantly (including when I am longing to engage in

> > addictive/destructive behaviours).

> >

> > I don't think that we will ever know what goes on inside of Her

> head,

> > because we are not on Her level. Take peace in knowing that your

> Ma

> > will give you what you need, when you need it.

> >

> > Iswari reminded me very strongly a couple of weeks ago -- "Where

> > there is love there is no distance". Feeling Amma's presence and

> > gazing into her face, feeling her warm embrace, hearing her

> > voice...these things are beautiful and wonderful experiences. I

> long

> > for our Mother. However, I try and keep her close to my heart by

> > talking to Her daily. Not just praying to Her or singing to Her,

> but

> > actually *talking* to Her. For instance, when I hear the birds

> sing,

> > I say to Her (inside my head, lest others think I'm a

nutcase), "I

> > hear you, Ma. I hear you singing..."

> >

> > Everything is in Mother. Mother is in everything, including you,

> dear

> > Dixie.

> >

> > I will say a prayer for you, dear.

> >

> > With love,

> > Your sister in Amma,

> > Niseema

> >

> > >

> > > Namaste, Niseema and All,

> > >

> > > I'm here and loved the message. I've just been quiet lately;

> > read every day, but haven't been writing much. All's well and I

> > really am enjoying the communications/discussions, but every time

> I

> > get ready to respond - and have several times - it almost feels

> like

> > I'm under a gag order! I end up deleting whatever I've written

> > because it feels like it's already "gone" wherever it was

supposed

> to

> > go or the need to comment just evaporates.

> > >

> > > I'm currently reading "Hindu for Dummies" (or something to

> that

> > effect; I'm not good with titles). I finished reading "Daughter

> of

> > Fire" and am so grateful for the reference to it - my mind has

> been

> > engaged with it for some time now because it addressed so many

> things

> > I struggle with. I know we've all talked several times about

> there

> > not being any real need for us to be physically in the Guru's

> > presence to benefit, but I so want that experience for myself.

> Mrs.

> > Tweedie in the book makes it clear that she did continue to grow

> > spritually while separated from her Master, but the beauty of her

> > comments about simply sitting there beside him and absorbing his

> > presence makes me long to be able to do that with Amma. What I

> would

> > give to just be able to sit and look at Her! My mind still has

so

> > many questions: what is She like "inside"? I've read so often

> that

> > the Great Ones have no need/desire for the cognition of the mind

> as

> > we think of it, and are, instead conduits for That; what must

that

> be

> > like? How huge is Mother's grace? Is there really any of the

> > personality left that was originally born into Amma's body or was

> > there a "human"

> > > there ever?

> > >

> > > And I am, blast it, still wishing I could let go of all of

> this

> > and simply be. I read once that Yogananda said that one of the

> > functions of life as a householder is to make us tire of it and

> turn

> > to spiritual things, and I've read several times that it is

> > understood that some men in India - perhaps of a specifc caste? -

> > will retire from life as householder in middle-late middle age

and

> > become celibate and focused on the spiritual (I think this was in

> my

> > Ramakrishna readings): while I'm female, this seems to be where

I

> > am. So much in my life over the past 20 - and very specifically

> the

> > last 6-10 years, have led me to be in a position I could never

> have

> > imagined for myself that I can't help but think there's a reason

> for

> > it. I still keep dreaming of being here in my forest yard with

> > animals and people just coming and going at their own behest and

> in

> > perfect peace, and in the dream I am nothing more or less in the

> > picture than a dog, a tree, or the strangers who stop here for

> > refuge. I'm fairly certain it is not for now, but I feel like I

> am

> > in somewhat of a holding pattern until it is the time for

whatever

> is

> > ahead; I jsut keep doing my japa, reading about the Masters, and

> > entreating Mother to dance a fire dance of grace and love in

every

> > cell of my body every second of every day.

> > > SO.......................... dear Niseema, are you still glad

> you

> > asked?

> > >

> > > I love all of you so much and would be truly be lost without

> our

> > satsang.

> > >

> > > Still awe at Mother's feet,

> > > Dixie

> > >

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Hari OM! OM Amriteswariye Namaha!

 

 

Dear Niseema

 

 

Niseema Wrote:

 

>It is my karma that I am

> a

> > householder and rather than fight it, I'm going to try and

> progress

> > as much as I can so that I can move forward in my next life.

> >

 

What is the guarantee of next life? Why do you want next life at all

Niseema? I never misunderstood your email, I completely understand

you.

 

With Love & OM!

 

Om Nama Shivaya!

Om Amriteswariye Namaha!

 

Krishna Prasad

 

 

Ammachi, "Erica" <sugarandbrine> wrote:

> Dear Krishna Prasad,

>

> I do not mean to imply that only renunciates can realize God. I

mean

> to debunk that idea!! I think that you may have

misread/misunderstood

> what I was saying.

>

> Even if I am not in human form in next birth, there is still much

> spiritual work to be done for all beings.

>

> Sorry if my email confused what I was actually trying to say.

>

> With love,

> Niseema

>

> Ammachi, "Krishna Prasad" <rkrishp99>

> wrote:

> > Hari OM! OM Amriteswariye Namaha!

> >

> > Dear Niseema,

> >

> > Your email is interesting, You said may continue in next birth,

YOu

> > know in what form you are going to be in next birth or in birth

> > after that???

> >

> > Now we have been given the Human birth, which is the best

equipment

> > given to us because of our karma, so Please do not keep anything

> > expecting next birth. This is the only time we can realize,

there

> is

> > nothing like that only who wears a loin cloth can realize GOD.

> > Pleasee.... most of our Rishis were householers! simple and

humble

> > ones.

> >

> > May Amma Bless you with the knowledge you deserve

> >

> > With Love & OM!

> >

> > OM Nama Shivaya!

> > OM Amriteswariye Namaha!

> >

> > Krishna Prasad

> >

> >

> >

> > Ammachi, "Erica" <sugarandbrine>

wrote:

> > > Dearest Dixie,

> > >

> > > While I am not quite middle-aged in this life, I can certainly

> > > understand where you are coming from on this topic!! I have

felt

> > from

> > > a very young age (13) that I wasn't meant to be "like everyone

> > else",

> > > wasn't meant to be a householder. A very advanced sadhak once

> told

> > > me, "You're not meant to wander the earth in a loin cloth and

> > > meditate in this life. So, you have to do what is best for

> > yourself

> > > in this life and honor God the way that you are meant to." He

> told

> > me

> > > to wake up every morning, wear nice clothes, and walk daily. I

> > asked

> > > him what this had to do with sadhana, and he said "It *is*

your

> > > sadhana".

> > >

> > > I took a lot from that. I try, now, to look at each and every

bit

> > of

> > > life as a learning spiritual experience. It is my karma that I

am

> > a

> > > householder and rather than fight it, I'm going to try and

> > progress

> > > as much as I can so that I can move forward in my next life.

> > >

> > > Our minds tend to run away with themselves. The mind is

nothing

> > more

> > > than an extension of the ego. If the mind is asking questions,

> > then

> > > the ego is longing for answers and also longing for more

> > attention.

> > > The ego tries to talk us out of putting faith in our Ma,

because

> > the

> > > ego wants to be the all-knowing and all-powerful. It's a

strong

> > > force! So, give the mind a toy. When it starts running away

with

> > > itself, I give my mind the "toy" of my mantra. "Here, mind,

play

> > with

> > > this and do not *think*, but rather only chant for your Ma."

My

> > mind

> > > calms almost instantly (including when I am longing to engage

in

> > > addictive/destructive behaviours).

> > >

> > > I don't think that we will ever know what goes on inside of

Her

> > head,

> > > because we are not on Her level. Take peace in knowing that

your

> > Ma

> > > will give you what you need, when you need it.

> > >

> > > Iswari reminded me very strongly a couple of weeks ago --

"Where

> > > there is love there is no distance". Feeling Amma's presence

and

> > > gazing into her face, feeling her warm embrace, hearing her

> > > voice...these things are beautiful and wonderful experiences.

I

> > long

> > > for our Mother. However, I try and keep her close to my heart

by

> > > talking to Her daily. Not just praying to Her or singing to

Her,

> > but

> > > actually *talking* to Her. For instance, when I hear the birds

> > sing,

> > > I say to Her (inside my head, lest others think I'm a

> nutcase), "I

> > > hear you, Ma. I hear you singing..."

> > >

> > > Everything is in Mother. Mother is in everything, including

you,

> > dear

> > > Dixie.

> > >

> > > I will say a prayer for you, dear.

> > >

> > > With love,

> > > Your sister in Amma,

> > > Niseema

> > >

> > > >

> > > > Namaste, Niseema and All,

> > > >

> > > > I'm here and loved the message. I've just been quiet

lately;

> > > read every day, but haven't been writing much. All's well and

I

> > > really am enjoying the communications/discussions, but every

time

> > I

> > > get ready to respond - and have several times - it almost

feels

> > like

> > > I'm under a gag order! I end up deleting whatever I've

written

> > > because it feels like it's already "gone" wherever it was

> supposed

> > to

> > > go or the need to comment just evaporates.

> > > >

> > > > I'm currently reading "Hindu for Dummies" (or something to

> > that

> > > effect; I'm not good with titles). I finished

reading "Daughter

> > of

> > > Fire" and am so grateful for the reference to it - my mind has

> > been

> > > engaged with it for some time now because it addressed so many

> > things

> > > I struggle with. I know we've all talked several times about

> > there

> > > not being any real need for us to be physically in the Guru's

> > > presence to benefit, but I so want that experience for

myself.

> > Mrs.

> > > Tweedie in the book makes it clear that she did continue to

grow

> > > spritually while separated from her Master, but the beauty of

her

> > > comments about simply sitting there beside him and absorbing

his

> > > presence makes me long to be able to do that with Amma. What

I

> > would

> > > give to just be able to sit and look at Her! My mind still

has

> so

> > > many questions: what is She like "inside"? I've read so

often

> > that

> > > the Great Ones have no need/desire for the cognition of the

mind

> > as

> > > we think of it, and are, instead conduits for That; what must

> that

> > be

> > > like? How huge is Mother's grace? Is there really any of the

> > > personality left that was originally born into Amma's body or

was

> > > there a "human"

> > > > there ever?

> > > >

> > > > And I am, blast it, still wishing I could let go of all of

> > this

> > > and simply be. I read once that Yogananda said that one of

the

> > > functions of life as a householder is to make us tire of it

and

> > turn

> > > to spiritual things, and I've read several times that it is

> > > understood that some men in India - perhaps of a specifc

caste? -

> > > will retire from life as householder in middle-late middle age

> and

> > > become celibate and focused on the spiritual (I think this was

in

> > my

> > > Ramakrishna readings): while I'm female, this seems to be

where

> I

> > > am. So much in my life over the past 20 - and very

specifically

> > the

> > > last 6-10 years, have led me to be in a position I could never

> > have

> > > imagined for myself that I can't help but think there's a

reason

> > for

> > > it. I still keep dreaming of being here in my forest yard

with

> > > animals and people just coming and going at their own behest

and

> > in

> > > perfect peace, and in the dream I am nothing more or less in

the

> > > picture than a dog, a tree, or the strangers who stop here for

> > > refuge. I'm fairly certain it is not for now, but I feel like

I

> > am

> > > in somewhat of a holding pattern until it is the time for

> whatever

> > is

> > > ahead; I jsut keep doing my japa, reading about the Masters,

and

> > > entreating Mother to dance a fire dance of grace and love in

> every

> > > cell of my body every second of every day.

> > > > SO.......................... dear Niseema, are you still

glad

> > you

> > > asked?

> > > >

> > > > I love all of you so much and would be truly be lost

without

> > our

> > > satsang.

> > > >

> > > > Still awe at Mother's feet,

> > > > Dixie

> > > >

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  • 1 year later...

Namah Shivaya Leokomor,

 

I am a retired Intensive Care nurse with many years working with

patients like Dixie. She and I have emailed privately since early 2004,

when she was looking for answers.

 

Thomas Hospital has a specialty with Pulmonology and a Lung

Center,...according to their website. This is good for Dixie.

 

When a pulmonary patient is on oxygen, as Dixie is, she would be

limited to activity to preserve her lung capacity, however she would be

most comfortable with the head of her bed elevated, sitting in a

recliner with her feet elevated slightly or on the side of the bed

while leaning on pillows on top of the bedside table. The MD's are

likely putting her in Intensive Care so she can have a private nurse.

Their goal, for months, has been to increase her strength, so that she

would be strong enough to do a lung biopsy.

 

Group prayer is powerful.....and I thank GeorgeSon for keeping us all

updated.

 

ONS<

amritavarshini

 

On Friday, August 19, 2005, at 08:23 PM, leokomor wrote:

 

> OM NAMAH SHIVAYA

>

> Dear Sister Amritavarshini:

>

> Amritavarshini asked:

>

> "Would it be possible for you to obtain and address for her, so that

> we could flood her room with cards. I would like to send her a few

> Devi Bhava Petals etc."

>

> SNEHALATA IS IN INTENSIVE CARE AT

>

> Thomas Memorial Hospital

> 4605 MacCorkle Avenue, SW

> South Charleston, WV 25309

>

> Amritavarshini further wrote:

>

> "The oxygen might eliminate a way for her from come online to stay in

> touch...but pray there is a way that Amma would send her someone to

> provide her a laptop, to use while she is hospitalized. Oxygen and

> tubing is portable...and hopefully she could have a recliner or

> bedside table devoted to placing a lap top"

>

> AM AT A DISADVANTAGE IN THIS BECAUSE I AM NOT IN THE MEDICAL

> PROFESSION. ANY DOCTORS OR NURSES PLEASE ADVISE. MY SENSE AS A

> LAYMAN IS THAT WHEN ONE IS IN INTENSIVE CARE A PATIENT'S LIFE FORCE

> IS IN A STRUGGLE. ICU (Intensive Care Unit) DOCTORS USUALLY SEVERELY

> RESTRICT ENTRY OF EVEN FAMILY IN ICU.

> ONCE AGAIN IF I AM MISTAKEN CAN SOMEONE WITH MEDICAL KNOWLEDGE CHIME

> IN?

>

> THANK YOU FOR CARING SISTER.

>

> WITH LOVE,

>

> George

>

> P.S. Though I am sad I am certain that Amma will protect Dixie.

> Amma is very close to Dixie. I do not doubt.

>

>

>

>

> Ammachi, "B.Edmonds" <edmondsb@i...> wrote:

>> Dear Georgeson,

>>>

>> Thank you for keeping us informed of Snehalata/Dixie's readmission.

>>

>>> Would it be possible for you to obtain and address for her, so

> that we

>>> could flood her room with cards. I would like to send her a few

> Devi

>>> Bhava petals, etc.....

>>

>> The oxygen might eliminate a way for her from come online to stay

> in

>> touch...but pray there is a way that Amma would send her someone

> to

>> provide her a laptop, to use while she is hospitalized. Oxygen and

>> tubing is portable...and hopefully she could have a recliner or

> bedside

>> table devoted to placing a lap top.

>>

>> For you techies out there...is there any other way to connect to

> the

>> internet by using direct dial up, other than Earthlink, which I am

>> under the impression ca be used while traveling, if you use the

> local

>> Area code, etc...as if it was a local call.

>>

>> Blessings,

>> ONS,

>> amritavarshini

>>

>>

>> On Friday, August 19, 2005, at 11:50 AM, GeorgeSon wrote:

>>

>>> Om Amriteswarye Namah:

>>> Peace Peace Peace.

>>>

>>> Dear Amma Satsang:

>>>

>>> Dixie was re-admitted into a West Virginia hospital on Tuesday

> August

>>> 16, 2005. Did not know about this until this morning (Friday).

>>> Snehalata's husband Ronald Thacker reported via email that the

>>> Doctors have Dixie on a very high oxygen flow. On Thursday they

> gave

>>> Snehalata/Dixie two units of of red blood cells. The Doctors are

>>> attempting to get Dixie strong enough to enable them to perform a

> lung

>>> biopsy.

>>>

>>> Ronald Thacker (who himself had a recent stroke) said that he is

>>> concerned about this downturn.

>>>

>>> With Love,

>>>

>>> GeorgeSon

>>>

>>> P.S. I do not have a iota of a doubt that Amma is in that

> Hospital

>>> room. She is with Her devotees at times like this. I have

> absolutely

>>> no doubt.

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>> Aum Amriteswarayai Namaha!

>>> Links

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>>

>>

>>

>>

>

>

>

>

>

> Aum Amriteswarayai Namaha!

> Links

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

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