Daughter of Fire

March 13, 2004

Namaste, All,

I am reading "Daughter of Fire" and am absolutely entranced by it- the paths

seems so similar and raise so many questions again.

THis book, like others I've read, make it fairly clear that 1) complete

surrender to the Guru is required and 2) proximity to Him/Her can make a

difference because the energy can flow from master to disciple so directly.

This Guru also states that not all who come to Him are disciples - that there is

a difference between those who want wordly things from Him, those who are

attached to Him personally, and those who come seeking knowledge. Individuals

are not 'given to' equally but according to directions He is given and according

to their own intents.

1: We've discussed this before, but I am still not clear on what I believe or

what Mother wants us to do. I know She gives instructions for us to follow in

our lives as householders - but I also know that every Guru I've read about

states that total surrender is necessary. Now, without raising that old issue

of laziness vs. spiritual practice - I keep dreaming, and seeing in my mind(?)

even when I'm awake, that I am standing in my 'yard,' which is surrounded by

deep forest. In the dream, there are deer, squirrels, etc. wandering around

without paying any attention to me whatsoever and I am so thin that my Native

American face looks almost chiselled and the rest of my body is all angles and

juts (obviously only a dream; I am, to be kind, chubby). My hair is very long

in this dream and is blowing gently but without any order around my face and

upper torso and my face is completely upturned. My only interest, if you will,

seems to be being.

I knew this about myself as a small child, but it disappeared for many years and

has just returned in the past year or two. I desperately need absolute solitude

and feel very sure that I could surrender completely; my ideal right now would

be to turn off my electricity and phone, tell all those who depend on me that I

will not be available for at least a year, and then simply spend my time letting

whatever it is inside me 'quicken' or 'ripen' without leaving my own yard and

forest for at least 12 months. How does one reconcile such a need with the

reality of life? My husband depends on me for our income right now and to

safeguard his health as best I can and, while I know my children would

understand, I don't think they'd like me withdrawing completely for so long.

Amma and Yogananda both remind us that today is important because we don't know

when time will run out-that doesn't bother me, but I want to know the Truth, if

possible, while I am in this incarnation and can understand it as I am now.

When the need is so strong, how does one keep telling his/her soul to be

patient?

2: Do you think physical proximity is a big issue? I worry sometimes that

Mother seems so far away and I don't feel that the energy between us is always

as strong as it was when I was in Her presence last summer. Sometimes the

longing for Her is almost overwhelming - and so is the fear. I know it's

incredibly sill,y but somedays I wonder if She knows who I am. Does She

remember the name and mantra She gave me? There are so many of us...or does it

even matter? Sometimes I want desperately to know, for sure, that the place I

hold in Her heart is as special as the one She has in mine...and then feel

selfish and ridiculous for even wondering.

Lost and needing to be found,

Snehalata

My questions: Do you think it is the same with Amma?

March 13, 2004

Dear Snehalata,

I certainly can't answer all your questions, only

offer what has been helpful to me personally, as

I deal with the same issues. I don't even have

anyone depending on me, only Amma's insistence that

I keep working in the world. (Ugh.)

> My husband depends on me for our income right

> now and to safeguard his health as best I can and,

> while I know my children would understand, I don't

> think they'd like me withdrawing completely for so

> long.

I read this quote from Yogananda every day.

"Life should be chiefly service. Without that ideal,

the intelligence that God has given you is not

reaching out toward its goal. When in service you

forget the little self, you will feel the big Self

of Spirit. As the vital rays of the sun nurture all,

so should you spread hope in the hearts of the poor

and forsaken, kindle courage in the hearts of the

despondent, and light a new strength in the hearts

of those who think that they are failures. When

you realize that life is a joyous battle of duty

and at the same time a passing dream, and when

you become filled with the joy of making others

happy by giving them kindness and peace, in God's

eyes your life is a success.

(Paramahansa Yogananda)

>

> 2: Do you think physical proximity is a big issue?

> Does She remember the name and mantra She

> gave me? There are so many of us...or does it even

> matter? Sometimes I want desperately to know, for

> sure, that the place I hold in Her heart is as

> special as the one She has in mine...and then feel

> selfish and ridiculous for even wondering.

Mother always uses the analogy of the sun and the

lotus. Even though the lotus and the sun are far

apart, the sun still causes the lotus to bloom.

Mother has Her ways of letting you know that She

knows all about you. Often these are subtle.

My only advice is to trust your heart and not

your mind. It is natural to wonder, so acknowledge

that and move on.

Love,

Jyotsna

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

>

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March 16, 2004

Namah Shivaya dear Snehalata,

Physical proximity to the Guru is NOT an issue for spiritual

enlightment. This is a very important teaching of our enlightened

Masters.

Retelling a story that I have written before on the list:

A few years ago I was at an airport in a European city to say

goodbye to Amma, along with several other devotees.

Amma gave each one of us a quick darshan.

Then She called one man over to Her and gave him one of the most

beautiful darshans I have ever seen anyone get.This devotee was a

middle aged man, was dressed, and looked like he had just come from

working a night shift job. I had not seen this man in the darshan

hall at all during Amma's program.

As Amma stroked this man's chest, and hugged him many, many times

She began giving us a talk. She told us that this devotee had spent

the days and nights of the 3 day program doing the laundry of the

tour staff (about 40-60 people) travelling with Her. He placed more

importance on service than being physical close to the Guru. This

brought him very close to the Guru, and this is the way to getting

the Guru's Grace.

Amma said that often we are doing things in life that we do not

want or like to do, but these are the things that God wants us to

be doing, and this is very important for us to realize.

Amma was giving me direct advice to do well the tasks that God has

given me to do , and not be complaining about it in my mind.

A lot of my time is spent doing household chores, child care,

cleaning, laundry, etc.,etc.,; and I am very, very, slow with it

all...you cannot imagine how slow, due to certain physical

disabilities I have.

The man who got all of this attention from Amma was blissed out. He

shone like the sun.

In his new book Sw. Ramakrishananda writes that Amma often says that

it is Her household devotees who remember Her the most. Missing

Amma,and longing to be with Her, keeps Her in our minds and hearts.

The Guru is beyond being a mere physical being and we have a hard

time understanding that. The tendency of the mind is to always

classify,quantify and categorize. But the Guru is beyond all of

this,and beyond the mind. The Guru lives in our hearts; lives in the

love in our hearts.

It is my experience that Amma remembers each one of us.

To me Amma is the fullest expression of the Supreme Consciousness

possible in physical form , and She is now physically walking on

our planet.

In Amma's Love,

Sara J.

> 2: Do you think physical proximity is a big issue? I worry

sometimes that Mother seems so far away and I don't feel that the

energy between us is always as strong as it was when I was in Her

presence last summer. Sometimes the longing for Her is almost

overwhelming - and so is the fear. I know it's incredibly sill,y

but somedays I wonder if She knows who I am. Does She remember the

name and mantra She gave me? There are so many of us...or does it

even matter? Sometimes I want desperately to know, for sure, that

the place I hold in Her heart is as special as the one She has in

mine...and then feel selfish and ridiculous for even wondering.

>

> Lost and needing to be found,

> Snehalata

>

> My questions: Do you think it is the same with Amma?

>

March 16, 2004

Beautiful Sara!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for sharing. So sweet.

In Loves Service

malati

March 16, 2004

Namah Shivaya,

Thank you for sharing that story!!! It was so inspiring to read. One thing I

want to point out that Amma also says is that while it is true what you said

below regarding physical proximity, devotees should try to see their Guru when

they can. I forget which book it was in, but a devotee asked about what to do

if they couldn't get the time off from their job when their Guru was visiting,

and Amma said that they should still go and put their faith in the Guru to take

care of it. She knows we can't all go to India to see Her, so She blesses us by

coming as close to us as She physically can each year. Jai Ma! But no, it is

not a requirement for the relationship. Look at how profoundly Lord Jesus

affects His disciples and He hasn't been in His physical form for 2000 years.

Namah Shivaya,

Anumati

saramj33 <saramj wrote:

Namah Shivaya dear Snehalata,

Physical proximity to the Guru is NOT an issue for spiritual

enlightment. This is a very important teaching of our enlightened

Masters.

"A real yogi is one who can maintain a peaceful mind in the midst of any

crisis." - Mata Amritanandamayi Devi

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March 17, 2004

-

Anumati

Ammachi

Tuesday, March 16, 2004 11:11 PM

Re: Re: "Daughter of Fire"

Namaste,

While I've never read about it, the Swami who explained the responsibilities

associated with accepting a mantra from Amma included being in Her physical

presence at least once a year.

My gratitude to all of you who've responded to my initial question; I do

appreciate it even if I didn't write back this time. Sara, Iswari, and Brianna

especially; your kindness is always lovely to witness.

At Mother's feet,