Guest guest Posted February 10, 2004 Report Share Posted February 10, 2004 Greetings and blessings to all who share this lovely loving space together. It is winter doldrums here and I am fighting the feelings of depression and despair. One great thing happened to me recently. As an abused child I mentioned before I took the IAM that my fear was that I would be unable to meditate due to the connection of abuse to "dissociation" that I used to survive abuse. Meditation to me was very much like the dissociation I used to experience durnig abuse and I would become steeped in fear when I tried to meditate. Well the IAM technique totally bypasses that connection I had and so far has become very useful for me and I can actually sit quietly and meditate very nicely using the technique. Of course the question of discipline is very important relating to this technique. The flesh is so willing to make any excuse when the spirit tries to grow and advance in spirituality. So I was feeling very guilty because several days in a row I had been unable to meditate and felt so bad about it. I stopped spinning my mind and asked Amma what to do about this deplorable despressing situation. Amma answered ( I hear her voice inside) that I should stop watching the TV first thing in the morning (duh), the news could wait, the world would not end while I was meditating. She then suggested that I buy a small CD/tape player and instead of turning on the TV, turn on bhajans for my meditation - she knows I have trouble with silence. So I did that and now in the morning when I awake I turn on the tape and my body knows that it is time to meditate. It is much easier for me now. I guess the point I want to make is that when we try to take steps forward in spirituality, the flesh pushes back and wants to return to the pleasures it is used to (including phobia, stress, misery, depression, etc.) it is important to negotiate with the desires, find ways around them that are compassionate and loving. I am used to punishment and shaming in response to having lack of discipline. Amma shows me that this is wrong and to take a compassionate and loving approach to discipline is much more useful. I hope this makes sense. So I listen to the flute music CD and meditate nicely. The IAM technique is very useful and the discipline will come if we are gentle yet firm with ourselves. I have so far to go yet and Amma lets me know I am fine and she loves me every day. Om Namashivaya - In Amma's service, Supriti Omenka Nnadi Finance: Get your refund fast by filing online Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 10, 2004 Report Share Posted February 10, 2004 Namah Shivaya Omanka Supriti Nnadi, How wonderful that our most compassionate Mother has spoken softly to you and shown you the way. I believe that you are right, that She does not want us to punish ourselves, but to be gentle. One small experience I had once where She whispered to me was when I was bathing. I was scrubbing myself in a hurried and rough fashion. She somehow let me know to be more loving towards this mortal body, to handle it more gently, as if this body was a newborn baby. Being present, listening, and responding appropriately is what it all seems to be about. Jai Ma! Omana > I guess the point I want to make is that when we try to take steps forward in spirituality, the flesh pushes back and wants to return to the pleasures it is used to (including phobia, stress, misery, depression, etc.) it is important to negotiate with the desires, find ways around them that are compassionate and loving. I am used to punishment and shaming in response to having lack of discipline. Amma shows me that this is wrong and to take a compassionate and loving approach to discipline is much more useful. I hope this makes sense. > > Supriti Omenka Nnadi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 10, 2004 Report Share Posted February 10, 2004 Great suggestions! The Lalita Sahasranama cd is priceless to me. Jai Ma Ammachi, Omenka Supriti Nnadi <oomenka> wrote: > > Greetings and blessings to all who share this lovely loving space together. > > It is winter doldrums here and I am fighting the feelings of depression and despair. One great thing happened to me recently. As an abused child I mentioned before I took the IAM that my fear was that I would be unable to meditate due to the connection of abuse to "dissociation" that I used to survive abuse. Meditation to me was very much like the dissociation I used to experience durnig abuse and I would become steeped in fear when I tried to meditate. Well the IAM technique totally bypasses that connection I had and so far has become very useful for me and I can actually sit quietly and meditate very nicely using the technique. > > Of course the question of discipline is very important relating to this technique. The flesh is so willing to make any excuse when the spirit tries to grow and advance in spirituality. So I was feeling very guilty because several days in a row I had been unable to meditate and felt so bad about it. I stopped spinning my mind and asked Amma what to do about this deplorable despressing situation. > > Amma answered ( I hear her voice inside) that I should stop watching the TV first thing in the morning (duh), the news could wait, the world would not end while I was meditating. She then suggested that I buy a small CD/tape player and instead of turning on the TV, turn on bhajans for my meditation - she knows I have trouble with silence. So I did that and now in the morning when I awake I turn on the tape and my body knows that it is time to meditate. It is much easier for me now. > > I guess the point I want to make is that when we try to take steps forward in spirituality, the flesh pushes back and wants to return to the pleasures it is used to (including phobia, stress, misery, depression, etc.) it is important to negotiate with the desires, find ways around them that are compassionate and loving. I am used to punishment and shaming in response to having lack of discipline. Amma shows me that this is wrong and to take a compassionate and loving approach to discipline is much more useful. I hope this makes sense. > > So I listen to the flute music CD and meditate nicely. The IAM technique is very useful and the discipline will come if we are gentle yet firm with ourselves. I have so far to go yet and Amma lets me know I am fine and she loves me every day. > > > Om Namashivaya - In Amma's service, > > Supriti Omenka Nnadi > > > > Finance: Get your refund fast by filing online > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 10, 2004 Report Share Posted February 10, 2004 Sister Omenka: We are on the same page. My discipline is falling apart. For me it is compulsive overeating. It sometimes feels like Amma is letting me fall. The mind conjures up the impression that She will not interfere when discipline falters. Today (Tuesday) at lunch I lost it. It was close to a total binge. Then I recalled a tape by Amma's Big Swami in which he talked about Krishna and Arjuna in the Gita. Big Swami during that Satsang boomed melodiously: "Krishna did not fight! Arjuna fought and Krishna was just there as the navigator! Perhaps Amma wants us to fight the urges of the flesh all alone, seemingly unprotected, before She interferes. Perhaps metaphorically She is appearing as a “mother” letting her child fight another child for a moment or two before She jumps in and breaks it up thinking that a little independent struggle allows for growth. Otherwise the Beloved’s child will lose an opportunity gain strength. As per hating oneself when we fall in the whirlpool of in-discipline Amma says: "The past is like a cancelled cheque; it's futile to brood over it." Perhaps when the spiritual seeker/stuggling soul/jiva succumbs to in-discipline jiva could get right back up and try again. The failure in discipline is already in the past. By the time you read this post, this very string will be in my past. Perhaps, because I do not really know, but perhaps, the mini-binge at lunch is already past and is indeed a cancelled check. Beating myself up about it will only nurture the next binge. I hope I have the viveka to grasp Her hand and use all of my faculties protected by the Holy Name sending temptation aflight.. Amma, says again and again, Try! However coupled with that “try” is Her reassurance that “I am with you” Love coupled with Faith to all the Great Incarnations, Jai Maa!!!!!!!!!! George Omenka Supriti Nnadi <oomenka wrote: Greetings and blessings to all who share this lovely loving space together. It is winter doldrums here and I am fighting the feelings of depression and despair. One great thing happened to me recently. As an abused child I mentioned before I took the IAM that my fear was that I would be unable to meditate due to the connection of abuse to "dissociation" that I used to survive abuse. Meditation to me was very much like the dissociation I used to experience durnig abuse and I would become steeped in fear when I tried to meditate. Well the IAM technique totally bypasses that connection I had and so far has become very useful for me and I can actually sit quietly and meditate very nicely using the technique. Of course the question of discipline is very important relating to this technique. The flesh is so willing to make any excuse when the spirit tries to grow and advance in spirituality. So I was feeling very guilty because several days in a row I had been unable to meditate and felt so bad about it. I stopped spinning my mind and asked Amma what to do about this deplorable despressing situation. Amma answered ( I hear her voice inside) that I should stop watching the TV first thing in the morning (duh), the news could wait, the world would not end while I was meditating. She then suggested that I buy a small CD/tape player and instead of turning on the TV, turn on bhajans for my meditation - she knows I have trouble with silence. So I did that and now in the morning when I awake I turn on the tape and my body knows that it is time to meditate. It is much easier for me now. I guess the point I want to make is that when we try to take steps forward in spirituality, the flesh pushes back and wants to return to the pleasures it is used to (including phobia, stress, misery, depression, etc.) it is important to negotiate with the desires, find ways around them that are compassionate and loving. I am used to punishment and shaming in response to having lack of discipline. Amma shows me that this is wrong and to take a compassionate and loving approach to discipline is much more useful. I hope this makes sense. So I listen to the flute music CD and meditate nicely. The IAM technique is very useful and the discipline will come if we are gentle yet firm with ourselves. I have so far to go yet and Amma lets me know I am fine and she loves me every day. Om Namashivaya - In Amma's service, Supriti Omenka Nnadi Finance: Get your refund fast by filing online Aum Amriteswarayai Namaha! Ammachi/ Ammachi Finance: Get your refund fast by filing online Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 11, 2004 Report Share Posted February 11, 2004 Jai Chitanand, Maybe there is another way to work it out that you don't see yet and Amma is letting you work and own your own progress. My friend keeps bailing out her son from all sorts of trouble, paying his rent when he's broke, fixing his car, calling want-ads on his behalf and job searching with him. We scold her because she facilitates a 27 year old baby! I told him it would look better if he job hunted for himself & by himself and he slagged me off "like WHATEVER dude"!! I'm not saying there's any semblance to you & Ma and my arrested developed friends, but there might be if Amma didn't let us get through the maze by our own power. Second thought - another friend castigated herself for laziness and then found she was ill, not lazy.. so self loathing is no answer, it only binds you to the problem somtimes. Jai Ma! Ammachi, George4Mata <leokomor> wrote: > My discipline is falling apart. For me it is compulsive overeating. > > It sometimes feels like Amma is letting me fall. The mind conjures up the impression that She will not interfere when discipline falters. > > Today (Tuesday) at lunch I lost it. It was close to a total binge. > > Then I recalled a tape by Amma's Big Swami in which he talked about Krishna and Arjuna in the Gita. Big Swami during that Satsang boomed melodiously: "Krishna did not fight! Arjuna fought and Krishna was just there as the navigator! > > > > Perhaps Amma wants us to fight the urges of the flesh all alone, seemingly unprotected, before She interferes. Perhaps metaphorically She is appearing as a "mother" letting her child fight another child for a moment or two before She jumps in and breaks it up thinking that a little independent struggle allows for growth. Otherwise the Beloved's child will lose an opportunity gain strength. > > > > As per hating oneself when we fall in the whirlpool of in- discipline Amma says: "The past is like a cancelled cheque; it's futile to brood over it." Perhaps when the spiritual seeker/stuggling soul/jiva succumbs to in-discipline jiva could get right back up and try again. The failure in discipline is already in the past. By the time you read this post, this very string will be in my past. Perhaps, because I do not really know, but perhaps, the mini-binge at lunch is already past and is indeed a cancelled check. Beating myself up about it will only nurture the next binge. I hope I have the viveka to grasp Her hand and use all of my faculties protected by the Holy Name sending temptation aflight.. Amma, says again and again, Try! However coupled with that "try" is Her reassurance that "I am with you" > > > > Love coupled with Faith to all the Great Incarnations, > > > > Jai Maa!!!!!!!!!! > > > > George > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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