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Dear Omana,

 

Thanks for the nice note. I always appreciate

your comments, and really liked what you said

earlier (after Nov.) about learning that you

don't have to try to be near Amma, that She'll

put you near Her when you're supposed to be.

That is so true and something about which I

still have to remind myself.

 

Last year in November, I found myself sitting

very near the rear of the seating area, and

decided it was okay, even if I couldn't see

Amma, since She's omnipresent. About 2/3

of the way through the bhajans, I became aware

of this column of bliss right beside me and

thought to myself that it felt like Amma was

right beside me. I was enjoying the feeling,

and then the Indian lady seated next to me

leaned over and said, "Do you smell the rose?"

I looked at her and she said, "Do you smell

the rose? Amma is right here!" And she pointed

to the exact spot where I felt the bliss. So

perhaps (in keeping with the previous thread on

divine fragrance) that some of us have "fragrance

receptors" and some of us have "bliss receptors."

Mine are of the bliss variety:).

 

It is true that there are occasional quotes

about not seeking after the outer Amma, but

I think for myself when new, and possibly others

when they are new on this path, it is very difficult

to reconcile the vast number of printed examples of

Amma's kindness and compassion with the seeming

coldness a devotee may encounter. Some of those

who are the most glib about this have never

experienced it. (And I'm not suggesting anyone

on this board is glib, but I have seen devotees

be glib about it.) When I mentioned to Amma

this summer that there was a fair amount of

pain on this path, She said that it is our

pain that keeps us close to Her! I offer these

comments for anyone who is as befuddled as I

was in the early years. For some, the path more

resembles the book "Daughter of Fire" than

the book "Ammachi."

 

Heart aflame for Amma,

Jyotsna

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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