Guest guest Posted January 5, 2004 Report Share Posted January 5, 2004 Hi dear Sara, Anumati, and all, It is said that the willing ear quickens the tongue of the storyteller:). It seems that sincere questions sometimes pull out of me what I have not realized was hiding, waiting for that opportune moment to appear. Yes, Anumati, I do think people struggle with what is really Amma's guidance and what is their mind. One friend once received guidance to go to a public lake in America, and when she and another devotee arrived separately, they found that Amma was already there and that she had told the people in her party that two of her devotees were coming! However, this same devotee has had (in my humble opinion) some rather dubious "guidance" ranging from "being told" to go alone to the ocean at Amritapuri in the middle of the night (definitely a no-no, according to the rules of the ashram) to telling me that I was supposed to buy and wear a sari. (Not likely in this lifetime!) My response to the latter was that if Amma wanted me to spend that kind of money She'd have to tell me Herself. (Amma has never mentioned it.) Sometimes I believe it is only in retrospect that I can clearly tell (by the result) what is true guidance. For example, one of my big lessons seems to be that I have to learn to pay attention to the inner Amma, not the outer Amma. I used to long so much for a touch or a word from Amma before she would leave the hall. But, strangely enough, she seemed to ignore me leaving me in acute psychic pain. Well, after a year or two of this pain, I finally decided to try to be attentive to my inner guidance. (Duh!) Somewhat to my disappointment, my guidance seemed to be NOT to try to see Her or touch Her as she left the hall (San Ramon, at the time). So, inwardly girding up my loins, as it were, I went and secured my shoes while "everyone" else went to see Amma off. I steadfastly averted my eyes from the throng in front of the temple and proceded down the hill, thinking, "I will not look, I will not look, I will not look." At the bottom of the hill I was joined by another devotee friend, who was also going to the same parking lot I was (I forget the name) on the "front 40." (We country folks are used to speaking of the "front 40" (acres) and the "back 40.") My friend announced that Amma's car was coming. I had been so into my resolve not to seek after Amma's attention while leaving the hall, that I tried to keep my eyes straight ahead. But then my heart was yearning to look, so I said aloud, "I can't help it; I HAVE to look!" As my friend and I turned to look, she waved, and even though we were easily 30 or 40 yards away from the road, Amma turned and gave us an absolutely electric smile and a big wave!! (When one doesn't "try," the blessings flow much more easily, it seems.) It's hard to describe just how special that smile and wave were, but I do believe it had to do with my finally beginning to get it through my head that I was to be inwardly rather than outwardly attuned. I can't say how many times Amma has been trying to teach me this simple lesson, and I'll share some more personal experiences with this in the next few days, God willing, and if everyone on the board promises not to judge my lapses too harshly:). In Amma's love, Jyotsna Hotjobs: Enter the "Signing Bonus" Sweepstakes http://hotjobs.sweepstakes./signingbonus Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 6, 2004 Report Share Posted January 6, 2004 Dear sister Jyotsna, your stories are very much appreciated.......more than you know. Thank you for the following: "and I'll share some more personal experiences with this in the next few days, God willing, and if everyone on the board promises not to judge my lapses too harshly. " I will be here to defend you , if someone happens to take offense with whatever your write, or there is a lapse of some sort on your part. It is more important for my own spiritual development that you write, and I continue to get small bits of inspiration. I also need to be more inwardly attuned to our Divine Mother. Thank you very much. In Amma, Sara Ammachi, "E. Lamb" <jyotsna2> wrote: > Hi dear Sara, Anumati, and all, > > It is said that the willing ear quickens the > tongue of the storyteller:). It seems that sincere > questions sometimes pull out of me what I have > not realized was hiding, waiting for that opportune > moment to appear. > > Yes, Anumati, I do think people struggle with what > is really Amma's guidance and what is their mind. > One friend once received guidance to go to a public > lake in America, and when she and another devotee > arrived separately, they found that Amma was already > there and that she had told the people in her party > that two of her devotees were coming! > > However, this same devotee has had (in my humble > opinion) some rather dubious "guidance" ranging > from "being told" to go alone to the ocean at > Amritapuri in the middle of the night (definitely > a no-no, according to the rules of the ashram) to > telling me that I was supposed to buy and wear a sari. > (Not likely in this lifetime!) My response > to the latter was that if Amma wanted me to spend > that kind of money She'd have to tell me Herself. > (Amma has never mentioned it.) > > Sometimes I believe it is only in retrospect that I > can clearly tell (by the result) what is true > guidance. For example, one of my big lessons > seems to be that I have to learn to pay attention > to the inner Amma, not the outer Amma. > > I used to long so much for a touch or > a word from Amma before she would leave the hall. > But, strangely enough, she seemed to ignore me > leaving me in acute psychic pain. Well, after a year > or two of this pain, I finally decided to try to be > attentive to my inner guidance. (Duh!) > > Somewhat to my disappointment, > my guidance seemed to be NOT to try to see Her or > touch Her as she left the hall (San Ramon, at the > time). So, inwardly girding up my loins, as it were, > I went and secured my shoes while "everyone" else > went to see Amma off. I steadfastly averted my > eyes from the throng in front of the temple and > proceded down the hill, thinking, "I will not look, > I will not look, I will not look." At the bottom > of the hill I was joined by another devotee friend, > who was also going to the same parking lot I was > (I forget the name) on the "front 40." > (We country folks are used to speaking of the > "front 40" (acres) and the "back 40.") > > My friend announced that Amma's car was coming. > I had been so into my resolve not to seek after > Amma's attention while leaving the hall, that I > tried to keep my eyes straight ahead. But then > my heart was yearning to look, so I said aloud, > "I can't help it; I HAVE to look!" As my friend > and I turned to look, she waved, and even though > we were easily 30 or 40 yards away from the road, > Amma turned and gave us an absolutely electric smile > and a big wave!! (When one doesn't "try," the > blessings flow much more easily, it seems.) > > It's hard to describe just how special that smile > and wave were, but I do believe it had to do with > my finally beginning to get it through my head > that I was to be inwardly rather than outwardly > attuned. I can't say how many times Amma has been > trying to teach me this simple lesson, and I'll share > some more personal experiences with this in the next > few days, God willing, and if everyone on the board > promises not to judge my lapses too harshly:). > > In Amma's love, > Jyotsna > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 6, 2004 Report Share Posted January 6, 2004 Blessed soul, Let me tell you people of my first experience of Amma's response to prayer when away from Her physical presence. I generally dont give out these incidents. But i have this feeling that are some genuine devotees in the group, and Amma wants them to know about this experience of mine. I typed this email after i felt Amma inspiring me to do so. This happened 2 months after i first met Amma. I had no idea or concept about Amma during that time, except of course that She was my Mother. That day, I had a good fight with one of my close friends, and came back home feeling guilty. After shower, i sat down on my living room sofa still feeling bad over the incident. Some how i had this really deep cry from within, that came out of pain. I cried out to Amma, like a child wanting to have his mother beside him. I don't remember every detail of what happened next... i do recollect the following... the room was filled with Amma's divine fragrance. with the fragrance came an intense longing for Her from within. During that time, i found it difficult to stay even 1 hour away from Her. The world around me disappeared & all that i could see was a intense effulgence... out of this effulgence Amma appeared.. smiling compassionately. i can never put what happened next in words, but will give it a try. She extended Her right hand & touched my left cheek. With the force of the caress, my face turned to one side.. then i could no longer see Her. Next came the most horrifying experience of my life. Out of the pain of not being able to see Her, i tried turning my head in Her direction.. but my head would'nt budge, I tried moving my fingers, again none would budge! then did i realise that my body was no longer mine.. it was lying there as an external object on which i had no influence what so ever. God! one cannot comprehend the horror i went through during those moments. Things began easing out when i learnt to accept the situation. I became aware that i was still very much alive, and the body was but an instrument. It took a while for me to get the fingers moving. Soon i was walking to my room, swaying like a drunkyard! I lay on my bed for a long time before i could walk steady. Another observation i made was that none of my family members who were at the other end of the living room, saw Amma or noticed anything unusual (fragrance, light...) in the room! I will reveal my next experience, only after She inspires me to do so again. Dear Jyotsna, i remember Amma once say that you have to find the Amma within you, if you are after this external form you will suffer. Her leela of acting like neglecting Her children at times, is usually intended to force them to turn inward, and look for Her guidance from within. Ever in Amma, arunmon. "E. Lamb" <jyotsna2 wrote: Hi dear Sara, Anumati, and all, It is said that the willing ear quickens the tongue of the storyteller:). It seems that sincere questions sometimes pull out of me what I have not realized was hiding, waiting for that opportune moment to appear. Yes, Anumati, I do think people struggle with what is really Amma's guidance and what is their mind. One friend once received guidance to go to a public lake in America, and when she and another devotee arrived separately, they found that Amma was already there and that she had told the people in her party that two of her devotees were coming! However, this same devotee has had (in my humble opinion) some rather dubious "guidance" ranging from "being told" to go alone to the ocean at Amritapuri in the middle of the night (definitely a no-no, according to the rules of the ashram) to telling me that I was supposed to buy and wear a sari. (Not likely in this lifetime!) My response to the latter was that if Amma wanted me to spend that kind of money She'd have to tell me Herself. (Amma has never mentioned it.) Sometimes I believe it is only in retrospect that I can clearly tell (by the result) what is true guidance. For example, one of my big lessons seems to be that I have to learn to pay attention to the inner Amma, not the outer Amma. I used to long so much for a touch or a word from Amma before she would leave the hall. But, strangely enough, she seemed to ignore me leaving me in acute psychic pain. Well, after a year or two of this pain, I finally decided to try to be attentive to my inner guidance. (Duh!) Somewhat to my disappointment, my guidance seemed to be NOT to try to see Her or touch Her as she left the hall (San Ramon, at the time). So, inwardly girding up my loins, as it were, I went and secured my shoes while "everyone" else went to see Amma off. I steadfastly averted my eyes from the throng in front of the temple and proceded down the hill, thinking, "I will not look, I will not look, I will not look." At the bottom of the hill I was joined by another devotee friend, who was also going to the same parking lot I was (I forget the name) on the "front 40." (We country folks are used to speaking of the "front 40" (acres) and the "back 40.") My friend announced that Amma's car was coming. I had been so into my resolve not to seek after Amma's attention while leaving the hall, that I tried to keep my eyes straight ahead. But then my heart was yearning to look, so I said aloud, "I can't help it; I HAVE to look!" As my friend and I turned to look, she waved, and even though we were easily 30 or 40 yards away from the road, Amma turned and gave us an absolutely electric smile and a big wave!! (When one doesn't "try," the blessings flow much more easily, it seems.) It's hard to describe just how special that smile and wave were, but I do believe it had to do with my finally beginning to get it through my head that I was to be inwardly rather than outwardly attuned. I can't say how many times Amma has been trying to teach me this simple lesson, and I'll share some more personal experiences with this in the next few days, God willing, and if everyone on the board promises not to judge my lapses too harshly:). In Amma's love, Jyotsna Hotjobs: Enter the "Signing Bonus" Sweepstakes http://hotjobs.sweepstakes./signingbonus Aum Amriteswarayai Namaha! Ammachi/ Ammachi India Mobile: Ringtones, Wallpapers, Picture Messages and more.Download now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 6, 2004 Report Share Posted January 6, 2004 - saramj33 Ammachi Tuesday, January 06, 2004 10:27 AM Re: More Stories Dear Sister Jyotsna, I agree with Sara- your stories are blessing for the rest of us. Please keep sharing. At Amma's lotus feet, Snehalata Dear sister Jyotsna, your stories are very much appreciated.......more than you know. Thank you for the following: "and I'll share some more personal experiences with this in the next few days, God willing, and if everyone on the board promises not to judge my lapses too harshly. " I will be here to defend you , if someone happens to take offense with whatever your write, or there is a lapse of some sort on your part. It is more important for my own spiritual development that you write, and I continue to get small bits of inspiration. I also need to be more inwardly attuned to our Divine Mother. Thank you very much. In Amma, Sara Ammachi, "E. Lamb" <jyotsna2> wrote: > Hi dear Sara, Anumati, and all, > > It is said that the willing ear quickens the > tongue of the storyteller:). It seems that sincere > questions sometimes pull out of me what I have > not realized was hiding, waiting for that opportune > moment to appear. > > Yes, Anumati, I do think people struggle with what > is really Amma's guidance and what is their mind. > One friend once received guidance to go to a public > lake in America, and when she and another devotee > arrived separately, they found that Amma was already > there and that she had told the people in her party > that two of her devotees were coming! > > However, this same devotee has had (in my humble > opinion) some rather dubious "guidance" ranging > from "being told" to go alone to the ocean at > Amritapuri in the middle of the night (definitely > a no-no, according to the rules of the ashram) to > telling me that I was supposed to buy and wear a sari. > (Not likely in this lifetime!) My response > to the latter was that if Amma wanted me to spend > that kind of money She'd have to tell me Herself. > (Amma has never mentioned it.) > > Sometimes I believe it is only in retrospect that I > can clearly tell (by the result) what is true > guidance. For example, one of my big lessons > seems to be that I have to learn to pay attention > to the inner Amma, not the outer Amma. > > I used to long so much for a touch or > a word from Amma before she would leave the hall. > But, strangely enough, she seemed to ignore me > leaving me in acute psychic pain. Well, after a year > or two of this pain, I finally decided to try to be > attentive to my inner guidance. (Duh!) > > Somewhat to my disappointment, > my guidance seemed to be NOT to try to see Her or > touch Her as she left the hall (San Ramon, at the > time). So, inwardly girding up my loins, as it were, > I went and secured my shoes while "everyone" else > went to see Amma off. I steadfastly averted my > eyes from the throng in front of the temple and > proceded down the hill, thinking, "I will not look, > I will not look, I will not look." At the bottom > of the hill I was joined by another devotee friend, > who was also going to the same parking lot I was > (I forget the name) on the "front 40." > (We country folks are used to speaking of the > "front 40" (acres) and the "back 40.") > > My friend announced that Amma's car was coming. > I had been so into my resolve not to seek after > Amma's attention while leaving the hall, that I > tried to keep my eyes straight ahead. But then > my heart was yearning to look, so I said aloud, > "I can't help it; I HAVE to look!" As my friend > and I turned to look, she waved, and even though > we were easily 30 or 40 yards away from the road, > Amma turned and gave us an absolutely electric smile > and a big wave!! (When one doesn't "try," the > blessings flow much more easily, it seems.) > > It's hard to describe just how special that smile > and wave were, but I do believe it had to do with > my finally beginning to get it through my head > that I was to be inwardly rather than outwardly > attuned. I can't say how many times Amma has been > trying to teach me this simple lesson, and I'll share > some more personal experiences with this in the next > few days, God willing, and if everyone on the board > promises not to judge my lapses too harshly:). > > In Amma's love, > Jyotsna > Aum Amriteswarayai Namaha! Ammachi/ b.. Ammachi c.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 8, 2004 Report Share Posted January 8, 2004 Namah Shivaya, Great story Jyotsna! I too have been rewarded by Amma's grace when I have stopped grasping externally for Her and moved inward. One time She seemed to clearly tell me, "Look for me at the end of the line, in the last seat, in the last row." I took a seat farthest from Her at San Ramon, Closed my eyes, and She showered bliss my way for the entire evening program. As far as what is Amma's guidance and what is not, it seems often when Amma wants to get our attention She sets up circumstances where all barriers fall, and where synchronicity is undeniable. If it is my mind or desires masquerading as Amma's guidance things don't seem to go as smoothly or magicly. Keep writing! Jai Ma! Omana > Sometimes I believe it is only in retrospect that I > can clearly tell (by the result) what is true > guidance. For example, one of my big lessons > seems to be that I have to learn to pay attention > to the inner Amma, not the outer Amma. > It's hard to describe just how special that smile > and wave were, but I do believe it had to do with > my finally beginning to get it through my head > that I was to be inwardly rather than outwardly > attuned. I can't say how many times Amma has been > trying to teach me this simple lesson, and I'll share > some more personal experiences with this in the next > few days, God willing, and if everyone on the board > promises not to judge my lapses too harshly:). > > In Amma's love, > Jyotsna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 8, 2004 Report Share Posted January 8, 2004 Namah Shivaya, What a wonderful experience! Thank you for telling us about it! Anumati "Arun Raj B." <mydeararunraj wrote: Blessed soul, Let me tell you people of my first experience of Amma's response to prayer when away from Her physical presence. I generally dont give out these incidents. But i have this feeling that are some genuine devotees in the group, and Amma wants them to know about this experience of mine. I typed this email after i felt Amma inspiring me to do so. "A real yogi is one who can maintain a peaceful mind in the midst of any crisis." - Mata Amritanandamayi Devi Hotjobs: Enter the "Signing Bonus" Sweepstakes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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