Guest guest Posted July 21, 2002 Report Share Posted July 21, 2002 Namah Shivaya. I was in Rhode Island too, and Amma did say in the context of this same answer that was quoted from below, that material (laukeekam) and spiritual (aadhyaatmeekam) are part of life...both are aspects of living. Then she went on to say what is quoted. She also said that our goal must be to feel solitude (badly translated by me...she used the word "thanne aane"); to feel alone no matter where you are...whether you are with people or without. I think I understood this to mean having detachment no matter what the situation. We cannot be successful in a quest for self-realization without practising "niskama karma"...or karma with no association. This is harder to observe in family life...but can be done, albeit not in a family life that is normally endorsed by the world around us. Witness the family life of Gandhi (in his later days), and Sri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa and Sarada Devi (through their entire married lives). These are goals, not a manner of living immediately accessible to us who live in the material world. That's why it's called practice or 'sadhana'...it is a constant struggle. She also said that family life has responsibilities that must be observed. When your child cries, you must pause your puja to take care of its needs. That is your dharma of the moment. And, as the years go by and the children are grown up, when family responsibilities are done, you can turn more and more attention to "aadhyaatmeekam" or spiritual life. This is a more complete version of Amma's answer to the question on material and spiritual living. I think it is harder to reach lofty spiritual goals while immersed in day to day family living. Just as it is harder to leap a hurdle in regular street clothes, and it is harder to practise aloneness with a bunch of family clamouring for your physical and mental energy. When one is alone, we can tune into whichever TV channel we wish to watch, but if there is even one other person in the room, our TV-watching experience will become diluted by the other' preference, whether for another channel or none at all. These are my analogies, not from Amma. For those who are interested, Amma has a little book called "Immortal Light", with the subtitle, "Advice to Householders". Here is a passage from Bhagavan Ramana Maharishi in answer to a question about solitude. "Q. Is solitude necessary for a Sannyasin? Maharishi: Solitude is in the mind of a man. One might be in the thick of the world and yet maintain perfect serenity of mind; such a person is always in solitude. Another may stay in the forest, but still be unable to control his mind. He cannot be said to be in solitude. Solitude is an attitude of the mind; a man attached to the things of life cannot get solitude, wherever he may be. A detached man is always in solitude." Compassionate detachment is the highest goal, and the hardest one. It will take many lives of struggle, and Amma is there to help with practical advice on the fight, as Krishna helped Arjuna. On a practical note, I suspect that we would feel guilty of hard-heartedness or unnatural behaviour if we practise true detachedness from our beloved spouse or children. I know I would! Note: While was reading and writing a response to this, I was constantly distracted by my 3 yr-old and husband watching a noisy TV program, punctuated with demands of food (my husband got up and made lunch for them), and then my daughter came and tried to cover with her hands the Ramana Maharishi book from which I was copying the passage. If I was alone, it would have been a different story. I find that I welcome my distractions because they intensify my spiritual time in an odd way. If I was alone, I may not prize aloneness quite so much. Om Namah Shivaya, Usha ***************** In a message dated 7/20/2002 12:25:24 AM Eastern Daylight Time, Ammachi writes: > Re: Digest Number 537 > > In a message dated 7/18/02 8:23:59 PM Pacific Daylight Time, > Ammachi writes: > > > > Amma added, "It is a matter of seeing whether you have the strength > > to be alone. If you have desires and want a family, then you should > > have a relationship. Here in the U.S., it is hard to be alone but > > it's okay because you have dogs and cats." Everyone laughed. "They > > are more loving," Swamiji began the translation and Amma stopped him > > and clarified. He continued, "They are more OBEDIENT than other > > people. With people, everybody wants to rule." > > > > Amma shows a definite preference for us to live alone and not get married. > I > have noted this over the years. Yet, it's never clear just why she feels > so > strongly about it. What exactly is it about solitude that she finds > superior > to the expression of mutual love in relationship. It is never clear to me, > > and to speak about dogs and cats just seems to make light of it. Is anyone > > more clear on why relationship is seen as, well, second best. She always > adds that family and spiritual life can work, but it is clear that, if you > are capable, the single life is best, and I still don't know why.Anyone? > Avram > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 21, 2002 Report Share Posted July 21, 2002 DJUM wrote: <<<snip>>> > > > Note: While was reading and writing a response to this, I was constantly > distracted by my 3 yr-old and husband watching a noisy TV program, punctuated > with demands of food (my husband got up and made lunch for them), and then my > daughter came and tried to cover with her hands the Ramana Maharishi book > from which I was copying the passage. If I was alone, it would have been a > different story. I find that I welcome my distractions because they > intensify my spiritual time in an odd way. If I was alone, I may not prize > aloneness quite so much. > Om Namah Shivaya, > Usha This is so true. I try very hard to wake up very early before my family to have my time alone to pray and chant and do yoga. But my sweet 2 year old knows I am up and comes to see me and ask questions. But then there are mornings that he comes in and joins me in my yoga and I just love watching him try to do the things I do with this great big smile on his face. Maybe it is a grass is greener thing. I will say my husband supports my practice and tries to keep the kids downstairs so I can have some quiet time. I just get the feeling that I should be with them and I am taking time from them and that is my battle. My husband and I are also on different paths but this morning we spent a good two hours talking and finding much common ground and ended up trading books that we have read and I think this is a help in our spiritual growth. Maybe it just falls to what each person is to do. If your meant to be single you will be. I know I was meant to be a mommy and a wife and when I am older I will have my time to fully merge with the Divine. But as a married woman I am merging too in a differnt way in caring, nuturing and loving my family. Shelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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