Cremating the relics of my Hindu beliefs

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BELOW IS AN ARTICLE I FOUND ON A LINK ON THE TIMES OF INDIA WEBSITE.

IT WAS A GOOGLE AD.

 

(Note: If you would be interested in a detailed account of Rabi's

conversion, read his book Death of a Guru. Rabi is presently based in

Southern California and is involved in evangelism all over the world.

He invites you to write: East/West Gospel Ministries, P.O. Box 2191,

La Habra, CA 90632.)

 

Copyright 1994 by the Christian Research Institute.

My Experience as a Hindu Guru

Growing up with Hindu beliefs

Cremating the relics of my Hindu beliefs

 

 

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No matter how fulfilling life becomes, there are always certain

regrets when one looks back. My deepest sense of loss involves my

father. So much has happened since his death. I often wonder what it

would be like to share it all with him, and what his reaction would

be.

 

We never shared anything in our lives. Because of vows he had taken

before I was born, not once did he ever speak to me or pay me the

slightest heed. Just two words from him would have made me

unspeakably happy. How I wanted to hear him say, "Rabi. Son." Just

once. But he never did.

 

My Hindu beliefs and higher consciousness

For eight long years he uttered not a word. The trancelike condition

he had achieved is called in the East a state of higher consciousness

and can be attained only through deep meditation.

"Why is father that way?" I would ask my mother, still too young to

understand. "He is someone very special -- the greatest man you could

have for a father," she would reply. "He is seeking the true Self

that lies within us all, the One Being, of which there is no other.

And that's what you are too, Rabi."

 

Father had set an example, achieved wide acclaim, and earned the

worship of many, and it was inevitable that upon his death his mantle

would fall upon me. I had never imagined, however, that I would still

be so young when this fateful day arrived.

 

When father died I felt I had lost everything. Though I had scarcely

known him as my father, he had been my inspiration -- a god -- and

now he was dead.

 

My Hindu beliefs and astrology

At his funeral, my father's stiff body was placed on a great pile of

firewood. The thought of his body being sacrificed to Agni, the god

of fire, added a new dimension of mystery to the bewilderment and

deep sense of loss that already overwhelmed me.

As the flames engulfed him, it was impossible to suppress the anguish

I felt. "Mommy!" I screamed. "Mommy!" If she heard me above the roar

of sparks and fire, she made no indication. A true Hindu, she found

strength to follow the teaching of Krishna: she would mourn neither

the living nor the dead. Not once did she cry as the flames consumed

my father.

 

After my father's funeral, I became a favorite subject for the palm-

readers and astrologers who frequented our house. Our family would

hardly make an important decision without consulting an astrologer,

so it was vital that my future be confirmed in the same way. It was

encouraging to learn that the lines on my palms and the planets and

stars, according to those who interpreted them, all agreed I would

become a great Hindu leader. I was obviously a chosen vessel,

destined for early success in the search for union with Brahman (the

One). The forces that had guided my father were now guiding me.

 

My Hindu beliefs and being worshipped by others

I was only eleven and already many people were bowing before me,

laying gifts of money, cotton cloth, and other treasures at my feet

and hanging garlands of flowers around my neck at religious

ceremonies.

How I loved religious ceremonies -- especially private ones in our

own home or those of others, where friends and relatives would crowd

in. There I would be the center of attention, admired by all. I loved

to move through the audience, sprinkling holy water on worshipers or

marking foreheads with the sacred white sandalwood paste. I also

loved how the worshipers, after the ceremony, bowed low before me to

leave their offerings at my feet.

 

While vacationing at an aunt's ranch, I had my first real encounter

with Jesus. I was walking along enjoying nature one day and was

startled by a rustling sound in the underbrush behind me. I turned

quickly and, to my horror, saw a large snake coming directly toward

me -- its beady eyes staring intently into mine. I felt paralyzed,

wanting desperately to run but unable to move.

 

In that moment of frozen terror, out of the past came my mother's

voice, repeating words I had long forgotten: "Rabi, if ever you're in

real danger and nothing else seems to work, there's another god you

can pray to. His name is Jesus."

 

"Jesus! Help me!" I tried to yell, but the desperate cry was choked

and hardly audible.

 

To my astonishment, the snake turned around and quickly wriggled off

into the underbrush. Breathless and still trembling, I was filled

with wondering gratitude to this amazing god, Jesus. Why had my

mother not taught me more about him?

 

My Hindu beliefs in question

During my third year in high school I experienced an increasingly

deep inner conflict. My growing awareness of God as the Creator,

separate and distinct from the universe He had made, contradicted the

Hindu concept that god was everything, that the Creator and the

Creation were one and the same. If there was only One Reality, then

Brahman was evil as well as good, death as well as life, hatred as

well as love. That made everything meaningless, life an absurdity. It

was not easy to maintain both one's sanity and the view that good and

evil, love and hate, life and death were One Reality.

One day a friend of my cousin Shanti, whose name was Molli, came by

to visit. She asked me about whether I found Hinduism fulfilling.

Trying to hide my emptiness, I lied and told her I was very happy and

that my religion was the Truth. She listened patiently to my pompous

and sometimes arrogant pronouncements. Without arguing, she exposed

my emptiness gently with politely phrased questions.

 

She told me that Jesus had brought her close to God. She also said

that God is a God of love and that He desires us to be close to Him.

As appealing as this sounded to me, I stubbornly resisted, not

willing to surrender my Hindu roots.

 

What my Hindu beliefs did not provide

Still, I found myself asking, "What makes you so happy? You must have

been doing a lot of meditation."

"I used to," Molli responded, "but not anymore. Jesus has given me a

peace and joy that I never knew before." Then she said, "Rabi, you

don't seem very happy. Are you?"

 

I lowered my voice: "I'm not happy. I wish I had your joy." Was I

saying this?

 

"My joy is because my sins are forgiven," said Molli. "Peace and joy

come from Christ, through really knowing Him."

 

We continued talking for half a day, unaware of how the time had

passed. I wanted her peace and joy, but I was absolutely resolved

that I wasn't going to give up any part of my religion.

 

As she was leaving, she said: "Before you go to bed tonight, Rabi,

please get on your knees and ask God to show you the Truth -- and

I'll be praying for you." With a wave of her hand she was gone.

 

Pride demanded that I reject everything Molli had said, but I was too

desperate to save face any longer. I fell to my knees, conscious that

I was giving in to her request. "God, the true God and Creator,

please show me the truth!" Something inside me snapped. For the first

time in my life, I felt I had really prayed and gotten through -- not

to some impersonal Force, but to the true God who loves and cares.

Too tired to think any longer, I crawled into bed and fell asleep

almost instantly.

 

Soon after, my cousin Krishna invited me to a Christian meeting. I

again surprised myself by responding: "Why not?" On our way there,

Krishna and I were joined by Ramkair, a new acquaintance of his. "Do

you know anything about this meeting?" I asked him, anxious to get

some advance information.

 

"A little," he replied. "I became a Christian recently."

 

"Tell me," I said eagerly. "Did Jesus really change your life?"

Ramkair smiled broadly. "He sure did! Everything is different."

 

"It's really true, Rab!" added Krishna enthusiastically. "I've become

a Christian too -- just a few days ago."

 

A caring shepherd not found in Hindu beliefs

The preacher's sermon was based on Psalm 23, and the words, "The Lord

is my shepherd," made my heart leap. After expounding the Psalm, the

preacher said: "Jesus wants to be your Shepherd. Have you heard His

voice speaking to your heart? Why not open your heart to Him now?

Don't wait until tomorrow -- that may be too late!" The preacher

seemed to be speaking directly to me. I could delay no longer.

I quickly knelt in front of him. He smiled and asked if anyone else

wanted to receive Jesus. No one stirred. Then he asked the Christians

to come forward and pray with me. Several did, kneeling beside me.

For years Hindus had bowed before me -- and now I was kneeling before

a Christian.

 

Aloud I repeated after him a prayer inviting Jesus into my heart.

When the preacher said, "Amen," he suggested I pray in my own words.

Quietly, choking with emotion, I began: "Lord Jesus, I've never

studied the Bible, but I've heard that you died for my sins so I

could be forgiven and reconciled to God. Please forgive me all my

sins. Come into my heart!"

 

Before I finished, I knew that Jesus wasn't just another one of

several million gods. He was the God for whom I had hungered. He

Himself was the Creator. Yet, He loved me enough to become a man and

die for my sins. With that realization, tons of darkness seemed to

lift and a brilliant light flooded my soul.

 

After arriving home, Krishna and I found the entire family waiting up

for us, apparently having heard what had happened. "I asked Jesus

into my life tonight!" I exclaimed happily, as I looked from one to

another of those startled faces. "It's glorious. I can't tell you how

much he means to me already."

 

Some in my family seemed wounded and bewildered; others seemed happy

for me. But before it was all over with, thirteen of us had ended up

giving our hearts to Jesus! It was incredible.

 

Cremating the relics of my Hindu beliefs

The following day I walked resolutely into the prayer room with

Krishna. Together we carried everything out into the yard: idols,

Hindu scriptures, and religious paraphernalia. We wanted to rid

ourselves of every tie with the past and with the powers of darkness

that had blinded and enslaved us for so long.

When everything had been piled on the rubbish heap, we set it on fire

and watched the flames consume our past. The tiny figures we once

feared as gods were turning to ashes. We hugged one another and

offered thanks to the Son of God who had died to set us free.

 

I found my thoughts going back to my father's cremation nearly eight

years before. In contrast to our new found joy, that scene had

aroused inconsolable grief. My father's body had been offered to the

very same false gods who now lay in smoldering fragments before me.

It seemed unbelievable that I should be participating with great joy

in the utter destruction of that which represented all I had once

believed in so fanatically.

 

In a sense this was my cremation ceremony -- the end of the person I

had once been...the death of a guru. The old Rabi Maharaj had died in

Christ. And out of that grave a new Rabi had risen in whom Christ was

now living.

 

(Note: If you would be interested in a detailed account of Rabi's

conversion, read his book Death of a Guru. Rabi is presently based in

Southern California and is involved in evangelism all over the world.

He invites you to write: East/West Gospel Ministries, P.O. Box 2191,

La Habra, CA 90632.)

 

Copyright 1994 by the Christian Research Institute.

 

For further info on Hindu beliefs, you may want to read Connecting

with the Divine.

 

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