Dowry

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Dowry

SB 3.22.23 T The Marriage of Kardama Muni and Devahuti

satarupa maha-rajni

paribarhan maha-dhanan

dampatyoh paryadat pritya

bhusa-vasah paricchadan

SYNONYMS

satarupa--Empress Satarupa; maha-rajni--the Empress; paribarhan--dowry;

maha-dhanan--valuable presents; dam-patyoh--to the bride and bridegroom;

paryadat--gave; pritya--out of affection; bhusa--ornaments; vasah--clothes;

paricchadan--articles for household use.

TRANSLATION

Empress Satarupa lovingly gave most valuable presents, suitable for the

occasion, such as jewelry, clothes and household articles, in dowry to the

bride and bridegroom.

PURPORT

The custom of giving one's daughter in charity with a dowry is still current in

India. THE GIFTS ARE GIVEN ACCORDING TO THE POSITION OF THE FATHER OF THE

BRIDE. PARIBARHAN MAHA-DHANAN MEANS THE DOWRY WHICH MUST BE AWARDED TO THE

BRIDEGROOM AT THE TIME OF MARRIAGE. Here maha-dhanan means greatly valuable

gifts befitting the dowry of an empress. The words bhusa-vasah paricchadan also

appear here. Bhusa means "ornaments," vasah means "clothing," and paricchadan

means "various household articles." All things befitting the marriage ceremony

of an emperor's daughter were awarded to Kardama Muni, who was until now

observing celibacy as a brahmacari. The bride, Devahuti, was very richly

dressed with ornaments and clothing.

In this way Kardama Muni was married with full opulence to a qualified wife and

was endowed with the necessary paraphernalia for household life. In the Vedic

way of marriage such a dowry is still given to the bridegroom by the father of

the bride; even in poverty-stricken India there are marriages where hundreds

and thousands of rupees are spent for a dowry. THE DOWRY SYSTEM IS NOT ILLEGAL,

AS SOME HAVE TRIED TO PROVE. THE DOWRY IS A GIFT GIVEN TO THE DAUGHTER BY THE

FATHER TO SHOW GOOD WILL, AND IT IS COMPULSORY. IN RARE CASES WHERE THE FATHER

IS COMPLETELY UNABLE TO GIVE A DOWRY, IT IS ENJOINED THAT HE MUST AT LEAST GIVE

A FRUIT AND A FLOWER. As stated in Bhagavad-gita, God can also be pleased even

by a fruit and a flower. When there is financial inability and no question of

accumulating a dowry by another means, one can give a fruit and flower for the

satisfaction of the bridegroom.

 

SB 4.3.9 T Talks Between Lord Siva and Sati

tasmin bhaginyo mama bhartrbhih svakair

dhruvam gamisyanti suhrd-didrksavah

aham ca tasmin bhavatabhikamaye

sahopanitam paribarham arhitum

SYNONYMS

tasmin--in that sacrifice; bhaginyah--sisters; mama--my; bhartrbhih--with their

husbands; svakaih--their own; dhruvam--surely; gamisyanti--will go;

suhrt-didrksavah--desiring to meet the relatives; aham--I; ca--and; tasmin--in

that assembly; bhavata--with you (Lord Siva); abhikamaye--I desire; saha--with;

upanitam--given; paribarham--ornaments of decoration; arhitum--to accept.

TRANSLATION

I think that all my sisters must have gone to this great sacrificial ceremony

with their husbands just to see their relatives. I also desire to decorate

myself with the ornaments given to me by my father and go there with you to

participate in that assemble.

PURPORT

It is a woman's nature to want to decorate herself with ornaments and nice

dresses and accompany her husband to social functions, meet friends and

relatives, and enjoy life in that way. This propensity is not unusual, for

woman is the basic principle of material enjoyment. Therefore in Sanskrit the

word for woman is stri, which means "one who expands the field of material

enjoyment." In the material world there is an attraction between woman and man.

This is the arrangement of conditional life. A woman attracts a man, and in that

way the scope of material activities, involving house, wealth, children and

friendship, increases, and thus instead of decreasing one's material demands,

one becomes entangled in material enjoyment. Lord Siva, however, is different;

therefore his name is Siva. He is not at all attracted by material enjoyment,

although his wife, Sati, was the daughter of a very great leader and was given

to him by the request of Brahma. Lord Siva was reluctant, but Sati, as a woman,

the daughter of a king, wanted enjoyment. She wanted to go to her father's

house, just as her other sisters might have done, and meet them and enjoy

social life. HERE, SHE SPECIFICALLY INDICATED THAT SHE WOULD DECORATE HERSELF

WITH THE ORNAMENTS GIVEN BY HER FATHER. She did not say that she would decorate

herself with the ornaments given by her husband because her husband was callous

about all such matters. He did not know how to decorate his wife and take part

in social life because he was always in ecstasy with thoughts of the Supreme

Personality of Godhead. ACCORDING TO THE VEDIC SYSTEM, A DAUGHTER IS GIVEN A

SUFFICIENT DOWRY AT THE TIME OF HER MARRIAGE, AND THEREFORE SATI WAS ALSO GIVEN

A DOWRY BY HER FATHER, AND ORNAMENTS WERE INCLUDED. IT IS ALSO THE CUSTOM THAT

THE HUSBAND GIVES SOME ORNAMENTS, BUT HERE IT IS PARTICULARLY MENTIONED THAT

HER HUSBAND, BEING MATERIALLY ALMOST NOTHING, COULD NOT DO SO; THEREFORE SHE

WANTED TO DECORATE HERSELF WITH THE ORNAMENTS GIVEN BY HER FATHER. IT WAS

FORTUNATE FOR SATI THAT LORD SIVA DID NOT TAKE THE ORNAMENTS FROM HIS WIFE AND

SPEND THEM FOR GANJA, BECAUSE THOSE WHO IMITATE LORD SIVA IN SMOKING GANJA

EXPLOIT EVERYTHING FROM HOUSEHOLD AFFAIRS; THEY TAKE ALL OF THEIR WIVES'

PROPERTY AND SPEND ON SMOKING, INTOXICATION AND SIMILAR OTHER ACTIVITIES.

SB 10.1.31-32 P The Advent of Lord Krsna: Introduction

The system of giving a dowry to one's daughter has existed in Vedic civilization

for a very long time. Even today, following the same system, a father who has

money will give his daughter an opulent dowry. A DAUGHTER WOULD NEVER INHERIT

THE PROPERTY OF HER FATHER, AND THEREFORE AN AFFECTIONATE FATHER, DURING THE

MARRIAGE OF HIS DAUGHTER, WOULD GIVE HER AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. A DOWRY,

THEREFORE, IS NEVER ILLEGAL ACCORDING TO THE VEDIC SYSTEM. Here, of course, the

gift offered as a dowry by Devaka to Devaki was not ordinary. Because Devaka was

a king, he gave a dowry quite suitable to his royal position. Even an ordinary

man, especially a high-class brahmana, ksatriya or vaisya, is supposed to give

his daughter a liberal dowry. Immediately after the marriage, the daughter goes

to her husband's house, and it is also a custom for the brother of the bride to

accompany his sister and brother-in-law to exhibit affection for her. This

system was followed by Kamsa. These are all old customs in the society of

varnasrama-dharma, which is now wrongly designated as Hindu. These

long-standing customs are nicely described here.

730430mw.la Conversations

Prabhupada: Oh, five thousand dollars. She has got some assets. That is called

stri-dhana. Stri-dhana means "woman's property." Nobody can touch it. Only,

according to Manu-samhita law, stri-dhana... Now they are changing. Stri-dhana,

the son cannot touch, the husband cannot touch. Nobody can touch. But, after her

death, the daughters will share that money. BECAUSE FORMERLY, THE DAUGHTERS

COULD NOT GET SHARE OF THE FATHER'S ESTATE. ONLY THE DOWRY WHICH IS GIVEN BY

THE FATHER AT THE TIME OF HER MARRIAGE. THAT MUCH. BUT SHE COULD NOT CLAIM ANY

ESTATE SHARE. THEREFORE AT THE TIME OF MARRIAGE, THE DOWRY BY ORNAMENTS, SARIS.

HUNDRED PIECES OF SARI. IF ONE IS RICH MAN. All Benarsee sari, costly. And

woman's nature is that if she gets good ornaments, saris, good food, she's

satisfied. She doesn't want anything. She'll never become faithless to her

husband. So these things are disappearing. Now rich man, rich man's wife, no

ornament. (indistinct). Only the widows, they were without ornaments. ANY WOMAN

WHO HAS GOT HUSBAND MUST HAVE ORNAMENTS. OTHERWISE, INSULT. So individual

liberty, individual prosperity, everything is disappearing.

770124mw.bhu Conversations

Gurukrpa: Thing is that the marriages are simply based on sex. Therefore the

marriages don't last long.

Prabhupada: That means they want permanent husband. That is their heart's

desire, but no husband. Is that civilization? AND HERE THE FATHER'S DUTY IS

THAT "BEFORE SHE ATTAINS PUBERTY, LET ME FIND OUT HUSBAND, SUITABLE." THIS IS

CIVILIZATION. "AND SHE WAS UNDER MY CARE, I GIVE IN CHARITY TO A SUITABLE BOY:

'MY DEAR BOY, YOU TAKE CHARGE OF THIS GIRL. I GIVE YOU SOME DOWRY AND DECORATE

THAT GIRL. BE HAPPY.' "

Satsvarupa: They criticize this in ISKCON, that the leaders pick out husband and wife.

Prabhupada: That's it.

Satsvarupa: And that they're not allowed to mix freely. They say, "Well how do

you know who you want to marry unless you can mix with that person?"

Prabhupada: There is no question of "how do you want?" You require, and the

parents is the best selector. It is not the question, "How do you like?" It is

the guardians' duty to find out a suitable husband or a suitable wife. Nowadays

the boys and girls, they do not take parents' guidance, and they are not happy.

Hari-sauri: The thing is the parents are not qualified to give any guidance any more either.

Prabhupada: QUALIFIED, THAT IS NOT VERY DIFFICULT. FOR THE GIRL, FIND OUT A BOY

WHO IS HARD WORKER OR A LITTLE EDUCATED. BAS. THAT'S ALL. THAT WAS THE

SELECTION. THEN FORTUNE. YOU GIVE A DAUGHTER UNDER THE CARE OF THE BOY WHO CAN

WORK HARD. THAT'S ALL. They then will earn their livelihood. Even there is no

education, a hard worker will do. A boy, as soon as has got the sense that "I

have got a wife to maintain," he'll work. That is impetus to give him to work

for the family. And if a boy gets wife or woman without any hard working, they

why he should marry? And if he has got responsibility that "I have to maintain

my wife; then I can enjoy," then he becomes responsible.