Guest guest Posted October 7, 2005 Report Share Posted October 7, 2005 Dear friends, I have in the recent months seen a lot of internal change. But the doubt comes - Am I acting/faking it? This is since I do read quite a bit of Ramana's books and people's experiences. After connecting to Ramana Maharshi in August, I felt I had lost the need for a separate identity. The ego/false self is still there, I certainly haven't identified with anything higher/larger etc. However, my cellphone is off, I don't feel the need of keeping up with people/relatives/old friends, my need to maintain a web-presence, to come up on google, to meet with people, all that has died off. I have nothing to say to people, nor anything to hear from them. I don't feel any sense of greater joy or peace or bliss, so this doesn't sound like an ego-death. OTOH, there is a futility, a "what's the point of all this?" kind of feeling/malaise. When I ask "Who Am I", I either see Bhagavan's face, or just a blank. If you ask me to define myself today, I would probably say "I am love for Ramana", but would that not be because that is the predominant thought, and so I have identified with a thought/feeling, as against this body. I feel that this "samsara" is losing its hold on me, attachments have dies out ... but again the question comes, is this really happening, or am I/ego faking it? Is there a sure way of knowing what's really going on? At the dear feet of Sri Bhagavan, Om Namo Ramanaya. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 7, 2005 Report Share Posted October 7, 2005 Dear Gautam Sit back.....relax and enjoy observing what's happening. Just enjoy observing how Sri Bhagavan's Grace takes over. Enjoy observing every moment which is Sri Bhagavan's Love, warmth and Grace. Ever Truly In Sri Bhagavan, Prashanth gautam <oneness.univ wrote: Dear friends, I have in the recent months seen a lot of internal change. But the doubt comes - Am I acting/faking it? This is since I do read quite a bit of Ramana's books and people's experiences. After connecting to Ramana Maharshi in August, I felt I had lost the need for a separate identity. The ego/false self is still there, I certainly haven't identified with anything higher/larger etc. However, my cellphone is off, I don't feel the need of keeping up with people/relatives/old friends, my need to maintain a web-presence, to come up on google, to meet with people, all that has died off. I have nothing to say to people, nor anything to hear from them. I don't feel any sense of greater joy or peace or bliss, so this doesn't sound like an ego-death. OTOH, there is a futility, a "what's the point of all this?" kind of feeling/malaise. When I ask "Who Am I", I either see Bhagavan's face, or just a blank. If you ask me to define myself today, I would probably say "I am love for Ramana", but would that not be because that is the predominant thought, and so I have identified with a thought/feeling, as against this body. I feel that this "samsara" is losing its hold on me, attachments have dies out ... but again the question comes, is this really happening, or am I/ego faking it? Is there a sure way of knowing what's really going on? At the dear feet of Sri Bhagavan, Om Namo Ramanaya. Post message: RamanaMaharshi Subscribe: RamanaMaharshi- Un: RamanaMaharshi List owner: RamanaMaharshi-owner Our Shortcut URL: http://www./community/RamanaMaharshi <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/ramanamaharshi" rel="tag">ramanamaharshi</a> Religion and spirituality Religions spirituality Ramana maharshi Sri ramana maharshi Visit your group "RamanaMaharshi" on the web. RamanaMaharshi for Good Click here to donate to the Hurricane Katrina relief effort. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 7, 2005 Report Share Posted October 7, 2005 Hari OM How wonderful you are not faking it the ego would not state such it would say I am elightened I am special I am above and beyond these others true devotion - humility asks if this is an act - am I faking it you have met God's Grace OM krupaapuurnaaya namaH ( I prostrate myself to the One full of Grace ) Jai Bhagavan Love baba gautam <oneness.univ wrote: Dear friends, I have in the recent months seen a lot of internal change. But the doubt comes - Am I acting/faking it? This is since I do read quite a bit of Ramana's books and people's experiences. After connecting to Ramana Maharshi in August, I felt I had lost the need for a separate identity. The ego/false self is still there, I certainly haven't identified with anything higher/larger etc. However, my cellphone is off, I don't feel the need of keeping up with people/relatives/old friends, my need to maintain a web-presence, to come up on google, to meet with people, all that has died off. I have nothing to say to people, nor anything to hear from them. I don't feel any sense of greater joy or peace or bliss, so this doesn't sound like an ego-death. OTOH, there is a futility, a "what's the point of all this?" kind of feeling/malaise. When I ask "Who Am I", I either see Bhagavan's face, or just a blank. If you ask me to define myself today, I would probably say "I am love for Ramana", but would that not be because that is the predominant thought, and so I have identified with a thought/feeling, as against this body. I feel that this "samsara" is losing its hold on me, attachments have dies out ... but again the question comes, is this really happening, or am I/ego faking it? Is there a sure way of knowing what's really going on? At the dear feet of Sri Bhagavan, Om Namo Ramanaya. Post message: RamanaMaharshi Subscribe: RamanaMaharshi- Un: RamanaMaharshi List owner: RamanaMaharshi-owner Our Shortcut URL: http://www./community/RamanaMaharshi <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/ramanamaharshi" rel="tag">ramanamaharshi</a> Religion and spirituality Religions spirituality Ramana maharshi Sri ramana maharshi Visit your group "RamanaMaharshi" on the web. RamanaMaharshi for Good Click here to donate to the Hurricane Katrina relief effort. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 7, 2005 Report Share Posted October 7, 2005 First of all thank you for your kind, encouraging words. Strangely, when I felt I had lost myself to dear Ramana, I had not read His works, or heard of self-enquiry. I just saw His photograph, and I saw Him as my Divine Mother-Father. I sang to Him and wept to Him, and somewhere there, felt He had just swallowed me. (I had read of concepts like ego-death and enlightenment etc). Even after buying and reading his books, "Who Am I" really never happened. Devotion and surrender was my path, and I was very happy just singing to and remembering Bhagavan at all times. Nothing else mattered - not even realization... Last week, my little niece passed away, and I was awoken from my "Everything is maya/illusion" reverie, and in this jolt, seeing the pain that most of humanity is facing, I re-dedicated myself to the search for Self. Now self-enquiry is happening without effort, I can't stop it, I seems like a life-death issue! This also made me wonder - that we should not let ourselves fall into this "nothing matters since this world is maya" trap/ stagnation. Doesn't this rob us of compassion, and the urgency to realize reality. Should we keep reminding ourselves that this world is very real, or is that tampering with what Bhagavan is giving us. Lastly, I want to proudly and happily add that from day one, Ramana's presence has been more real than any human I know - He is absolutely and fully alive - His love is limitless - all questions, worries, doubts died away just looking into those beautiful eyes. At the Lotus Feet of Bhagavan Ramana Om namo Ramanaya On 10/7/05 8:10 PM, "John Wagner" <baba108 wrote: > Hari OM > > How wonderful > > you are not faking it > > you have met God's Grace > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 7, 2005 Report Share Posted October 7, 2005 My Beloved Self Dearest Gautam Self-enquiry does become atomatic - to each action taken reverberates with who is the doer who am I follows every thing, thought and action - the body becomes well established as something other - that is like a car or clothing that is not really there laughter will rain from your inner most being compassion will increase while knowing those that suffer and you are illusionary there is no stagnation to fall into - just oceans of peace and waves of love all sentient life will be your child - only wishing them release from their self imposed madness He is absolutely and fully alive - His love is limitless - all questions, worries, doubts died away just looking into those beautiful eyes. YES YES YES OM puurnaaya namaH ( I prostrate to the perfect one) Jai Bhagavan Love baba gautam <oneness.univ wrote: First of all thank you for your kind, encouraging words. Strangely, when I felt I had lost myself to dear Ramana, I had not read His works, or heard of self-enquiry. I just saw His photograph, and I saw Him as my Divine Mother-Father. I sang to Him and wept to Him, and somewhere there, felt He had just swallowed me. (I had read of concepts like ego-death and enlightenment etc). Even after buying and reading his books, "Who Am I" really never happened. Devotion and surrender was my path, and I was very happy just singing to and remembering Bhagavan at all times. Nothing else mattered - not even realization... Last week, my little niece passed away, and I was awoken from my "Everything is maya/illusion" reverie, and in this jolt, seeing the pain that most of humanity is facing, I re-dedicated myself to the search for Self. Now self-enquiry is happening without effort, I can't stop it, I seems like a life-death issue! This also made me wonder - that we should not let ourselves fall into this "nothing matters since this world is maya" trap/ stagnation. Doesn't this rob us of compassion, and the urgency to realize reality. Should we keep reminding ourselves that this world is very real, or is that tampering with what Bhagavan is giving us. Lastly, I want to proudly and happily add that from day one, Ramana's presence has been more real than any human I know - He is absolutely and fully alive - His love is limitless - all questions, worries, doubts died away just looking into those beautiful eyes. At the Lotus Feet of Bhagavan Ramana Om namo Ramanaya On 10/7/05 8:10 PM, "John Wagner" <baba108 wrote: > Hari OM > > How wonderful > > you are not faking it > > you have met God's Grace > Post message: RamanaMaharshi Subscribe: RamanaMaharshi- Un: RamanaMaharshi List owner: RamanaMaharshi-owner Our Shortcut URL: http://www./community/RamanaMaharshi <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/ramanamaharshi" rel="tag">ramanamaharshi</a> Visit your group "RamanaMaharshi" on the web. RamanaMaharshi for Good Click here to donate to the Hurricane Katrina relief effort. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 8, 2005 Report Share Posted October 8, 2005 After more, almost constant, self-enquiry, I realize that what I thought was "me" actually never existed ... All these years my family loved someone who never existed, and vice versa ! At this moment, the "I" has no meaning, it does not seem to be associated with anything at all. The body is going on its own, it eats, sleeps, feels hungry, etc - I don't believe "I" have any control over it any longer. I realize that the Ramana I was devoted to until yesterday - was not that body with the compassionate eyes - it was perhaps "One who knew the meaning of I" - how silly of "me". Until yesterday I yearned to be at His feet, now the one who yearned and He are no longer understood! Let me guess - You have to first lose the self to know the Self - is that how it goes. Reminds me of that Zen story of the Master who kept filling the cup of the disciple after it had overflowed. When asked, He explained that unless you clear you mind of all your earlier knowledge, I cannot teach you anything. Here instead of knowledge, it is the self. Thanks again for your loving words, and advice. Om Namo Ramanaya On 10/8/05 5:33 AM, "John Wagner" <baba108 wrote: > My Beloved Self > > Dearest Gautam > > Self-enquiry does become atomatic - to each action taken reverberates with who > is the doer > > who am I follows every thing, thought and action - the body becomes well > established as something other - that is like a car or clothing that is not > really there > > laughter will rain from your inner most being > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 9, 2005 Report Share Posted October 9, 2005 PLEAE BEAR IN MIND THAT SOME OF US HAVE TO PAY FOR OUR NET-TIME, AND HAVE A SLOW CONNECTION. THIS IS THE CASE HERE IN TIRUVANNAMALAI AND IN MANY OTHER PLACES ALSO. THEREFORE PLEASE TAKE CARE WHEN POSTING, TO SHORTEN THE MESSAGE YOU ARE REPLYING TO, AS HAS BEEN DONE HERE ====================================== Hari Om you've got it as if there was ever any you too get anything no one ever had any control over any thing how silly of everyone yes lose self ( ego ) to know the SELF (That That Is) Jai Bhagavan Love baba gautam <oneness.univ wrote: After more, almost constant, self-enquiry, I realize that what I thought was "me" actually never existed ... All these years my family loved someone who never existed, and vice versa ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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