Fw: Ramana Ashram Visit ..final

[Guest guest]

Coming Home

 

 

I looked forward to coming home, and seeing my wife Annie for the first time in

weeks, but also felt a bit apprehensive about going back - I felt like I really

was absorbed into the psyche of India. But I did look forward to a place where

things worked reasonably and efficiently!

Before I left Tiruvannamalai, I asked my driver to stop at this special 'tank'

that was good for purification, which was along the circumambulation route. He

replied that we could do another circumambulation by car for an extra 100

rupees. I said sure - I was told that it was auspicious to circumambulate

Arunachala three times - OK, so once was in a taxi, is that so wrong?

 

The ride back to Madras was somewhat difficult. First off, my driver had a cold,

and was hawking loogies out the window for the first hour, and was constantly

picking his nose. Yecch. Then it started raining, and raining real hard. At one

point we stopped for a train - the crossing guard rail is lowered manually and

can take a painfully long time to be raised (since they do not have

communication apparently, they lower the bar when they think the train is

coming, and often the train is late or very late). During this wait, a poor

young girl of nine was selling snacks in the pouring rain, sans umbrella or any

other form of protection - though it is stays fairly warm in South India, wet is

wet, and it felt perverse and ironic that I was nice and dry in the taxi while

this girl was exposed to the elements. But that's the way it is for untold

numbers of people.

 

As we reached the outskirts of Madras, with the new Ford plant, it began to rain

extremely hard, and I notice numerous trucks that skidded off the road into the

wide grassy area between the lanes of the highway. They looked like dead

elephants. Many trucks were being unloaded by replacement trucks. In other

areas, various brutal car crashes were left to display the nastiness of two

metal machines smacking into each other. Apparently, since there is no concept

of AAA or any kind of road service, these vehicles are left to rot on the side

of the road or in the road itself. Often a broken down truck is being fixed

right in the roadway, simply blocked off by piles of rock, so that other

vehicles do not smash into it. I think a few drivers died or were seriously hurt

during that rainstorm.

 

After a seeming eternity, I was dropped off at the Hotel Chandra, next to the

Imperial Hotel. This was a 3 star hotel, and I would have stayed at a fancier

one, but it was 7:30pm already and my flight was leaving at 2:00AM. So it seemed

a waste to spend all that money for a place to rest and take a shower. I felt

burnt already and had not even started to do my plane thing.

 

I was going straight from India to California, which by the way, is exactly on

the other side of the earth as India. My taxi driver from Thiru stayed around so

he could take me to the airport (and get a good tip from a westerner, methinks),

and I started my journey home.

 

The first flight was 9 hours, to Frankfurt, and I managed to sleep for over half

the time, but when we arrived in Frankfurt, it was in the midst of a major

snowstorm. Oh shit, I just wanna get home! And it was so cold in the airport,

and many flights were being cancelled. But the big 747s weren't being cancelled,

and after a 3 hours wait, we taxied out fairly on time. But we waited in the

plane for another 2 hours to get de-iced, as only one runway was open. We

finally took off for the longest 10 hours of my life - there were moments where

I wanted to scream and open the damn door, but cooled down eventually. After

another seeming eternity, I saw the beautiful San Francisco Bay area, and felt

re-energized. Home!

 

Final Thoughts

 

I could write a lot about how my trip to India affected me, but suffice to say

it had a deep, deep affect on me, and it will take more time for me to

assimilate the changes. India humbled me, inspired me, gave me a much, much

greater perspective on life, death, existence, pain, suffering and compassion.

It showed me the gaps in my own spiritual evolution, and proceeded to do the

work to fill those gaps. It broke my heart, in a way that was not superficially

emotional, but very deep way - somehow, the spiritual blessings I received and

the almost constant association of poverty, disease, over population, filth and

limitations broke a band of hardened immunity around my heart and gave me a

visceral lesson in the Buddhist concepts of impermanence and dukkha (suffering).

Living in America and especially one of the many wealthier suburbs, the subtle

idea that one could stay at distance from the suffering of others was smashed.

Here in America, our dark side is tidily tucked away in the inner cities and

'bad' neighborhoods that we cautiously avoid.

 

And the utter shock of going from a land of innumerably impoverished people to

Christmas time frenzied holiday shopping was like going from one form of chaos

to some other form of perverted chaos. As I said, the re-entry into this culture

was much more difficult than the entry into India. I read somewhere in India

that the number of natural resources that are used by one American can support

200 - 300 Asians. I don't know if those figures are accurate, but even if they

are off by 2/3 or 3/4, this is still a sign of a bizarre disparity that may be

considered appalling.

 

In India, I saw most people bound to a certain destiny, with few choices in life

due to poverty, while in America (or the west in general), we are often tortured

by the choices and possibilities in life, and unsatisfied by what some would say

are excesses. But at the same time, we are also given the opportunity, like our

fellow Indians, to take up spiritual practice and discover the nature of

cultural chaos that we live in.

 

So let me say to anyone out there reading this, thanks for your many replies to

this travelogue, and may you discover the nature of self and existence, and be

an embodiment of wisdom and compassion. And all the while be kind to others and

most of all, to yourself.

 

Courtesy of Phil Seredvio

 

Tiruvannamalai My final destination, Ramana Ashram!