Anger: Control or Transformation

[Guest guest]

Question:

Master, I have an ungovernable temper--how can I cure it?

 

"Even while anger is happening, if you suddenly become conscious it drops. Try

it. Just in the middle, when you are feeling very hot and would like to commit

murder, suddenly become aware, and you will feel something has changed: a gear

inside -- you can feel the click. Something has changed, now it is no more the

same thing. Your inner being has relaxed. It may take time for your outer layer

to relax, but the inner being has already relaxed. The cooperation is broken;

now you are not identified."

 

Osho: And The Flowers Showered

[Guest guest]

"I have an ungovernable temper--how can I cure it?"

 

A young member of this group asked me, What is this person talking

about?

 

Well to make it simple, what is my cure if I have an ungovernable

temper and to me this is more practical: Go for a run or a swim or

anything physical sporting activity that will redirect my

"anger"

energy to more productive way. At least the run will burn my fats

away, makes me feel better thereafter. Scientifically it have been

proven that physical activity like sports is itself an anti

"anger"

or anti stress. The body produces an enzymes which then will

counteract the hormones that are being produced when one has an

ungovernable temper.

 

This is only a short term answer. An emergency situation. Personally

I believe to cure you have to really go deeper into the root cause of

this anger. There is always a cause. Everything is a cause and

effect. You cannot just "drop" this anger, for if you did not

find

the root cause, and cure it, it will continue to come back again and

again. Its like a cycle, you need to break this cycle of anger.

[Guest guest]

I agree Noraji,

 

Also I would recomend using your mantra or the name of God/dess. Offer even you

anger to God/dess and it will ease the moment. See the person/people/situation

as God/dess, and that this is a test of our spiritual abilities. We are Never

tested, unless God/dess knows we can pass. That doesn't mean that we will pass

this time, just that we can. Failing the test is also part of the process

Yet, as you have said, find the root cause of the angry temper habits. Usually

it is do to with fear or the feeling of not being in control. Not seeing the

other as God/dess, if even just that angry moment.

 

Namaste & Blessed Be

Soma

 

Nora <ashwini_puralasamy wrote:

"I have an ungovernable temper--how can I cure it?"

 

A young member of this group asked me, What is this person talking

about?

 

Well to make it simple, what is my cure if I have an ungovernable

temper and to me this is more practical: Go for a run or a swim or

anything physical sporting activity that will redirect my

"anger"

energy to more productive way. At least the run will burn my fats

away, makes me feel better thereafter. Scientifically it have been

proven that physical activity like sports is itself an anti

"anger"

or anti stress. The body produces an enzymes which then will

counteract the hormones that are being produced when one has an

ungovernable temper.

 

This is only a short term answer. An emergency situation. Personally

I believe to cure you have to really go deeper into the root cause of

this anger. There is always a cause. Everything is a cause and

effect. You cannot just "drop" this anger, for if you did not

find

the root cause, and cure it, it will continue to come back again and

again. Its like a cycle, you need to break this cycle of anger.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SBC DSL - Now only $29.95 per month!

 

 

[Guest guest]

> this anger. There is always a cause. Everything is a cause and

> effect. You cannot just "drop" this anger, for if you did not

> find the root cause, and cure it, it will continue to come

> back again and again. Its like a cycle, you need to break

> this cycle of anger.

 

Nora -

 

Anger is a tough business. Telling someone to just dropping it is

akin of just telling that their feelings have no validity. With

children, if you just acknowledge their anger by saying: "You sure

are angry!" that will oddly defuse it because you are acknowledging

it presumably without a lot of judgement on top of it.

 

We all get angry or at least most of us do. If you are trying to

live an authentic human life on earth it is bound to happen. Jesus

had his moments. In reading some of the stories about the Zen master

Joshu, I am sure his teachers and students had their moments with

him. If you read the Jewish scriptures "The Book of Ruth" you will

see Naomi full of anger and dispair over life and with her God.

 

In the late 70's the buzz was that one needed to eliminate one's

anger because anger was simply a bad thing or a negative emotion. So

dutifully I would meditate to "bring it under control" but I never

did. Exercise actually was better but as you said, not a real

solution. The problem with my anger was that it could turn in to

bitterness or hatred whereas anger usually burns cleanly.

 

In talking to my sister the school teacher, I asked her how she dealt

with children with hate. She told me that she didn't actually come

across it too much but she had to explain to her children that while

they had these feelings, they could at least act like decent people.

Yes life was probably very unfair but there is still the moment and

there were other people to consider. Not an elegant solution but

self control is not bad either. It is a start. In many ways, my

sister understands the yoga of life.

 

At this period in history, there are many things that an individual

can do both with anger and for them as a mentor. One thing is not to

assume that you know too much about it. For example, you get these

things like depression is anger turned in on itself. (Of course that

begs that questiong if anger is depression turned outward.) I didn't

find that to be true. Depression was one thing and anger another.

Another one that I got a lot of even from a very good counselor that

at the base of all anger is fear. While I spent a long time in

search of that fear, I found that its cause was other things like

what were my internal dialogues saying and were they causing me to be

angry and frustrated. The psychitrist Albert Ellis believes that

behind every feeling there is a corresponding throught or set of

thoughts that creates it. I found that to be true - more so than

fear.

 

There was working with Robert Fritz's work that showed me that how I

was made up created a lot of my anger. Once I understood that then I

understood the mechanism behind it. A big peace came to me shortly

thereafter that hasn't left me. It wasn't fear.

 

I have to say that there are those people with charmed existences

that don't understand the difficulty that some of us have with

certain aspects of life. It is a real mystery to us and if we could

do a better job of it we probably would be doing it. If the student

could do something about his anger, he probably wouldn't have asked

for the help to begin with. Finding his answer might be his

journey. Some of us do a better job of handling things than others.

As long as he isn't hurting someone or himself, we can give

allowances to that. Who is to say that there might be just cause

for the anger. You don't know.

 

Thank you for reading my ramblings.

 

Eric

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

============================

 

Returning to the Ordinary World

 

A monk asked Kegon, "How does an enligthtened one return to

the ordinary world?" Kegon replied, "A broken mirror never reflects

again; fallen flowers never go back to the old branches."

[Guest guest]

Soma -

 

Love that name for this topic.

 

I think the matras can work as long as you are not using the

matras covering the problem or the issue. At this point in time,

there are many ways to deal with it. What is important is to do

those things that work for you as an individual. If this doesn't work

then try another and so on. It is like a splinter that has to be

removed to stop the infection. Once it is out then the healing can

take place. And if it is anger in the heart, it is a very hard thing

to remove.

 

Eric

 

 

 

, Soma <somaphoenixx> wrote:

> I agree Noraji,

>

> Also I would recomend using your mantra or the name of God/dess.

Offer even you anger to God/dess and it will ease the moment. See the

person/people/situation as God/dess, and that this is a test of our

spiritual abilities. We are Never tested, unless God/dess knows we can

pass. That doesn't mean that we will pass this time, just that we can.

Failing the test is also part of the process Yet, as you have said,

find the root cause of the angry temper habits. Usually it is do to

with fear or the feeling of not being in control. Not seeing the other

as God/dess, if even just that angry moment.

[Guest guest]

Is it possible that there should not be any anger in us? Can we

actually erase anger totally? Logically we should only then we

can "purify" and "detach" ourselves but in practical

term can we or

should we?

 

Colin Robinson (also a member of this list) who is an editor of

Ferment, in his December 2002 issue: The Vulnerability of the Hero,

The Wrath of the Loving Wife. In this story (as told in Adbuta

Ramayana) the angry Sita transform herself from a loving wife to that

of an angry fighting woman when she saw Rama lies unconscious and

immobile after being shot by Ravana's arrow.

 

What I learn after reading this is that we do need anger in us but as

long as this anger is being control, it will serve as an advantage in

our need to survive. It is said bacteria is bad for our body. But

there are bacteria in our body especially in the large intestine and

they have their function there. As long as the bacteria remain in the

large intestine, they are okay, but once they "travels" to

another

part of the body like eg the Urinary System, they becomes bad and

dangerous.

 

This anger is the driving force that helps us to push forward in

life. That is where this idea of Anger Management and Emotional

Intelligence comes in. So just like any other form of Management, you

have the immediate/emergency and the aftermath. The Immediate is

obviously the steps one take when one knows that his anger is

building up. How to control it. The Aftermath is to sit down and

explore that anger. I think this is where the Anger of the heart

falls. That is what Emotional Intelligence is all about. Our ability

to look at our emotion. To analyze and understands it. Only through

understanding, one will be able to control and becoming a better

person. This is what "breaking the cycle" means.

 

Obviously I agree with you Eric you cannot "drop" the anger.

That is what Supraath in his earlier message remarked "Even while

anger is happening, if you suddenly become conscious it drops". I

don't think so that the anger will spontaneously drop itself when

you

become conscious of it. I feel anger is like a magnet. It sticks with

us. To remove it, we need an effort.

 

If the anger is an "organ" I really like to cut it into half.

Put them under a microscope. Study the cells that make up this organ

call anger. Learn about the blood vessels that supply blood to this

organ. Where these blood vessels comes from. Feel the texture of this

organ in my hand, and perhaps smell it too, and who knows (if my mind

suddenly goes wild) I might want to taste it. Hey! We must be fair to

all our senses: I have seen, I have touch, I have smelled, so I must

taste right?

[Guest guest]

Aum Supraath

 

You quoted Osho, a.k.a. Sri Rajneesh, as saying "... Just in the

middle, when you are feeling very hot and would like to commit

murder, suddenly become aware...". How very prophetic of him,

considering that he was murdered by his own followers. It is too

bad that his followers didn't lesson to the lessons of their leader.

 

But, then again, Sri Rajneesh only reaped what he had sown. He

was implicated in many illegal activities in the U.S., including

murder, and left that country to avoid prosecution.

 

Hari Aum

 

Omprem

 

 

,

Supraath<supraath> wrote:

> Question:

> Master, I have an ungovernable temper--how can I cure it?

>

> "Even while anger is happening, if you suddenly become

conscious it drops. Try it. Just in the middle, when you are

feeling very hot and would like to commit murder, suddenly

become aware, and you will feel something has changed: a gear

inside -- you can feel the click. Something has changed, now it is

no more the same thing. Your inner being has relaxed. It may

take time for your outer layer to relax, but the inner being has

already relaxed. The cooperation is broken; now you are not

identified."

>

> Osho: And The Flowers Showered

[Guest guest]

lördagen den 12 juli 2003 17.01 skrev Nora:

> This is only a short term answer. An emergency situation. Personally

> I believe to cure you have to really go deeper into the root cause of

> this anger. There is always a cause. Everything is a cause and

> effect. You cannot just "drop" this anger, for if you did not

> find

> the root cause, and cure it, it will continue to come back again and

> again. Its like a cycle, you need to break this cycle of anger.

 

I agree with you here. Anger is often a symptom of something else, and

repressing the anger will just mean to encase that other thing, which will

appear at a later time.

 

Personally I see things like anger, sorrow, happiness, etc. as emotions, that

change like the weather. And when rain comes, you don't try to stop the rain,

you just put some rainclothes on and that way counquer the negativeness with

rain. So when anger comes to me, I conquer it in a similar way. Just say "oh,

I am angry, oh, well, that's just such a day". That way anger does not

overcome me, but I always stay in control, even when angry.

 

But I am a woman, not a male yogi or sadhu. I belive that certain things might

be different for the male and for the female psyche. Some women try to act

spiritually, by duplicating male spirituality, but that's not something I

"believe" in. As the female supreme is different from the male supreme, the

female psyche is also different from the male. Read some stories about

Parvati and Shiva, and note how they act differently. Parvati is not less

"spiritual" than Shiva, although she does not sit like a yogi and meditate

under a tree. She is just female different.

So a female can learn how to act in harmony with that supreme female, and that

is a spiritual way for her to act.

 

Oh, yes, Parvati might throw angry curses when offended where Shiva might be

more equiposied and don't. That's why it is more dangerous to offend a woman

than a man.

 

Prisni