Guest guest Report post Posted October 15, 2004 Antoine: Thanx for your kind words and invitation to discuss the "health issue" to which I referred in my post. I don't want to belabour this point, but maybe a brief discussion would help fill in the gap created by my absence from the list. I withdrew from this forum a couple yrs ago because my physical difficulties from k syndrome had gotten to the point where I couldn't engage in spiritual discussion here. I couldn't read it or attempt to participate in it without feeling frustrated. Fortunately, my condition has improved somewhat over the past year, and I've gotten some parts of my life back -- at least for now, LOL. To make a long story short, because of the extreme sensitivity of my system (from the energy) and all the bad reactions I've had over the years to medicines and other forms of intervention, it's gotten to the point where I fear the treatment as much as the disease. I have a severe back condition that probably requires some form of invasive treatment, and mildly elevated blood pressure that hasn't responded yet to alternative treatment, but I haven't sought medical attention yet, primarily because of the fear I have now of doctors. This may sound indefensible, but at least my back doesn't appear to be getting any worse, and I'm trying one more thing that I'm hoping will help the BP. Each instance of k syndrome is unique, of course, but there are common themes. There's a theory that k tends to strike you where you're weakest; perhaps as a way of accelerating your karmic development, etc. I don't know if it's true, but it seems to have happened with me. Before k syndrome, I was mildly neurotic about my health and mortality. Most of the time during this process I've felt like I've been blindfolded, had my hands and feet tied together, and a tight skullcap pulled over my head and then been given the instruction "OK, deal with your fears." Whatever's going on medically, etc, it feels like it's about fear. Don't know how successful I'm being in resolving or transcending it, but I guess being aware is a start. The most hopeful thing for me is what seems to be continuing movement in my energy process. I feel increasingly empowered as this progresses. But I also sense there are still difficult days ahead before the process completes itself. Anyway, thanx for asking. L&L, jerrysan rinpoche Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites