phalguni

Please, can you help me with some information about my retrograde Guru in the 9th house - I read that Guru is a functional benefic for Virgo, but yet I hear that I cannot strengthen it. I do not know enough about Jyotish to know how to fix my problem with relationship. I am also reading about vashikaran mantras. I am a Westerner so I do not trust that I can use such things ethically. I need some guidance from a good person who can help me with relationships in an ethical way, not by doing things to control somebody. I would never want to be with someone by controlling them. My situation currently is that my boyfriend broke up with me, not because of a lack of love, but because he has serious issues from childhood which he is now dealing with. Things are very good between us, there is still love there, but his issues make him scared of what a relationship between us promises. Please help me find a way in which I can encourage that love to be no longer blocked between us. We had even talked about a family together. I miss him every single day, and he also finds it difficult. I meditate twice a day and I have recently started praying that he will be ok and he will come back so we can build our life together. I do this after my meditation. It is difficult as a Westerner to figure out the good information from the bad. I am asking any of you out there who can see that we have our own problems here in the West, those of not even having a guru, not knowing who to trust with knowledge, to please point me in the direction of good practice, not spells to control my beautiful man. All I can do is try an look at my own chart, see what is affecting my relationship house, and try to remedy it. Please give me some guidance. Namaste Phalguni

I'm new to this site and only know a little about Jyotish. I hope you can help me! I read that whatever rules the 7th house is what affects relationships. I'm Virgo lagna, so Guru is ruling my 7th house. In my birth chart, Guru is retrograde in the 9th house, on its own. I also read that because it rules my 4th and 7th houses, it's a malefic, so I can't really strengthen it. Is there anything I can do? Relationships have always caused me a lot of heart ache. Namaste Phalguni