Never ending phd...please help in Vedic Astrology (Jyotisha) Posted March 17, 2009 · Report reply Dear Sasisekaranji, your words itself are acting like a soothing balm. I feel that you understand my problem. You are very right, many times in my life I feel like a lone warrior fighting to stick by my principles. It is not a physical fight or even a verbal fight, it is a fight in my mind to do what I feel is the right thing. This is something I have faced many times in my life, in many different kind of situations, and I have won almost always. I have always defeated my enemies/rivals in the end just by my dedication and following my principles. This is the first time that the situation is so complicated since it is not a competitor, but my teacher who is involved. It can ruin my entire efforts of four long years. I see it as a test of faith. Right now my mind if very confused, and I see no way out of this dilemma/ 'dharma sankat' as I like to call it. On the one hand he is my teacher, so I cannot disrespect him. And on the other hand, I cannot do something that I know is only going to ruin my future. (I am being used as a pawn right now). I have so many planets in marana karaka sthana in my horoscope, and although I don't understand the effects completely, all I know is that the pain they inflict makes me feel like I am dying! I noticed mercury's dasha at the time I came to USA. It was a very bad time of my life. Ironically, ketu's antardasha was a very blissful and spiritually uplifting period. In fact, it was the best phase in my entire life until now. All my past hurts got washed away. Then venus dasha started, and again all the joy got sucked out of my life. At least I could not have imagined Rahu-Ketu dasha being so good. Moon MD was OK (dont remember much since i was just a child), while Mars MD required a lot of hard work to defeat my rivals (whom I finally defeated in Rahu-Rahu). And these are both exalted planets in my chart. Perhaps their role was character building rather than giving happiness. Your words that I should wait and let these days pass match my own gut feeling. I am praying very sincerely every waking moment for some solution to this problem.