By---------
Srila Thakur Bhaktivinode

What is association and giving up association?
Many people have doubts about this.
Doubts may be there, because if just by coming
close to a materialist or material object is
consider associating with them, then there is
no way to give up this association. As long as
the material body is there, how can one give
up the proximity of these things? How can a
grhastha vaisnava give up his family members?
Even if one is a renunciate, still one cannot
give up the association of deceitful persons.
One will have to come across materialists in
one’s life, whether one is a grhastha or a
renunciate. Therefore the limit for giving up
the association of materialists is prescribed in
Œri Upadeœamta as follows:
dadati pratighati guhyam akhyati pcchati
bhu,kte bhojayate caiva -vidha priti-lakaam
Offering gifts in charity, accepting charitable gifts, revealing
one’s mind in confidence, inquiring confidentially,
accepting prasada, and offering prasada are the six
symptoms of love shared by one devotee and another.
O sadhakas! One must accept proximity
with both bad and good people as one passes
his life. This equally applies to householders
and renunciates. Proximity must be there,
nevertheless one should not engage in bad
association. Giving in charity, accepting charity,
revealing one’s mind, hearing one’s mind,
accepting foods, and giving foods — if done
with love are called sanga, association. Giving
some foodstuffs to a hungry person or accepting
some charity from a pious man are
done out of duty, not out of love. Even if they
are materialists, this type of engagement is
not considered association. But if they are
pure devotees then such activities should be
performed out of love. When acts are performed
out of love, then it is association. Giving
charity to pure vaisnavas and accepting
items or wealth from them becomes sat-sanga.
Thus, giving charity to or accepting charity
from a materialist, if done out of love, becomes
asat-sanga. When a materialist approaches
you, whatever is required to be done
should be done only out of duty. One should

Haribol,

Where is the rest of this post... it seems to end in an odd way...

not speak confidentially with a materialist.
Generally there is some love involved in confidential
speaking, therefore it is association.
While meeting a materialistic friend one
should speak only what is extremely necessary.
At that time it is better not to exhibit
heartfelt love. But if that friend is a proper
vaisnava then one should accept his association
by speaking to him with love. This type
of behavior with relatives and friends creates
no hostility. There is no association in ordinary
talk. One should behave with ordinary
people as one externally behaves with a
stranger while buying something in the market.
The same dealings with a pure devotee
of the Lord should be done out of love. If one
is obliged to feed hungry people, needy
people, and teachers, he should do so as a
host dutifully cares for his guest, there is no
need to exhibit love. Care for them, but not
out of love. One should feed pure vaisnavas
with love, and when required accept the remnants
given by them with love. If one can
behave in this way while giving in charity,
accepting charity, speaking confidentially,
hearing confidentially, feeding, and accepting
food with one’s wife, children, servants,
maidservants, strangers, and whoever else
one meets, there will no unholy association,
only good association. There is no hope of
achieving devotion to Krishna until one gives
up unholy association in this way. A
renunciate vaisnava should accept whatever
alms he receives by madhukari, begging at the
houses of honest householders with the above
mentioned consideration. He should always
remember the difference between gross begging
and madhukari;. A grhastha vaisnava
should accept prasada grains and drinks in
the house of another grhastha who has pure
character. One should always be cautious
about taking prasada in the house of a nondevotee
or someone with bad character.
There is no need to speak further about this.
Due to their pious activities, those who have
developed faith in devotional service have a
little intelligence by the mercy of Krishna. Due
to that intelligence they can easily understand
the essence of the acaryas’ instructions. Therefore
only a few words are needed to instruct
them. Those who have no pious credits have
no faith. Even if they are given volumes of
instruction they will not understand a thing.
Therefore Srila Rupa Goswami has given only
a few words of instruction in Sri Upadesamrta.
— Commentary on Srila Rupa Goswami’s Sri Upadesamrta
verse three, sanga-tyaga. Translation by Sriman Bhumipati Prabhu.
Edited and published by Pundarik Vidyanidhi Prabhu. Available from
Vrajraj Press, c/o ISKCON Vrindavan. 1996.

Figuratively the queen is supposed to be the disciple of the king; thus when the mortal body of the spiritual master expires, his disciples should cry exactly as the queen cries when the king leaves his body. However, the disciple and spiritual master are never separated because the spiritual master always keeps company with the disciple as long as the disciple follows strictly the instructions of the spiritual master. This is called the association of väni (words). Physical presence is called vapuù. As long as the spiritual master is physically present, the disciple should serve the physical body of the spiritual master, and when the spiritual master is no longer physically existing, the disciple should serve the instructions of the spiritual master.
SB 4.28.47