dear gurubhais,
here iam the damned thing with my yet another
dangerous problem and i desperately need ur help.some days back i
came to know of a woman who has a temple in her house with godess
durga idol installed inside and a very small wooden/metal image near
it which i didnt see on my first visit to the temple.the women is
well known as the women has some sort of power and claims that she
can solve problems.every one comes there thinking that she has the
power because of maa durga.

but what i found out was that it was becos of the yakshini(the small
idol) she has obtained
she has hid the fact from everyone.she is very much after money and
keeps on uttering ugly curses at her neighbours(who are good/bad i
dont know).there is a small tree outside the temple to which she
offers flowers.colored rice etc.


i was into weed and alcohol heavily which i renounced after taking
guru diksha.but the effects of those habits were in my body so on my
first visit to the temple i innocently prayed to mother durga that
please purify my mind and body.without knowing the fact that the
woman and her yakshini would take advantage of it in the future.

on the 1st day itself i asked her about a problem which had followed
me all my life.and she said that it was becos my ansestors were
landlords and they have installed some powers(a bhuta gana which i
initally thought as devi because of some confusion) in our long
forgotten land which belonged to the family and now as the temple
they reside has crumbled they are angry with the succsessors and they
are troubling me.

after that i came home and resumed hanuman sadhana after eating the
prasad of yakshini(thinking that it was durga maa's prasad).but in
between the sadhana some thing shot from my stomach to the heart and
suddenly i started feeling dirty.and i strongly felt that something
is desperately stopping me from doing sadhana.and i could not do the
sadhana bcos of the dirty feeling.even now it happens but not with
that intensity.the prasaad may have been used to take control of me

the woman obviously had come to know that i have aguru who gives the
knowledge of tantra and she is afraid/jealous of me.i had disclosed
about the yakshini to my relatives who goes to the temple regularly
and i think the yakshini-woman is angry on me becos of that.she gets
money from the people who visit the temple and she respects only
people with money and simply ignores other people.


next time when my mother went to the temple(who unfortunately
beleived in her more than me)
she started to tell her about my past mistakes which my mother was
not knowing which upset her very
much.that is the time i came to know that she is really after me.i
saw the yakshini clearly when i was sleeping in my house around
midnight she had a snake like look and was staring at me then
suddenly automatically i heard bagalamukhi mantra once in my mind . i
shouted and it dissappeared
even now occasionally the vessels in the kitchen rumbles without
reason.one night when i was desperately doing sadhana inspite of all
odds the vessels banged so heavily as if someone was throwing
them.and early morning a women started to throw lemons in front of
our house placed a cut lemon on either side of our staircase which
leads to the front door and ran away.
all the members in my family has nightmares very often.the lady sends
subtle threathening messages through my relative which only i can
understand.


this is not the only problem.there is my friend(backstabbing) by name
Saravanan who used to talk aggressively against tantra and i have
known him for 4 years we were classmates.but i recently discovered
coincidentially that he himself practices tantra secretly he has read
some books from other sources and people. even before i knew about
gurudev and was clever enough to hide it by his badmouthing the
tantra attitude.as soon as knew about gurudev i gave all the
information about the magazine i gave him my own magazine(a issue on
tantric shatkarm jan-2003) and even thought of giving him rs.500/- to
receive gurudiksha thinking that he was a dear friend.but that dear
friend of mine instead of getting happy suddenly started to sulk and
getting afraid features swarmed his face.i dint understand why that
happened.but after some days slowly things started to unfold
(gurudevs grace may be).he is person filled with deceit and vengance
and before this many times he had done tantra prayogs on poor me
because i had objected him on using a very ugly word on another
friend which caused him so much of humiliation in the college.to
avenge his humiliation he had done tantra prayogs on me. and now he
is afraid that i may do acounter ritual to remove the affects.he also
knows that i have come to know about his evil deeds but on the
surface we both act as nothing happened.he indierectly always says
that "i will render you useless for life.and he is trying to ucchatan
me from gurupooja".whenever i do a tantra nivaarann sadhana he calls
up and in a very disturbed voice which he tries to hide asks me that
wheather iam doing any sadhana.i cant avoid him because he is in very
good trems with my parents who beleive outsiders and think that iam a
fool looks like he has also done something on my parents.and whenever
i have done it i have heard that even the yakshini women gets ill.but
i suspect that a major prayog is being done on me and if these two
get togeather i dont think that i will live and be sane.they seem to
have a upper hand always over me and my days are slipping away one by
one without being able to do any sadhana..the family
dieties,yakshini,evil friend these things happend at the same time
and iam baffled by it.please suggest something

i refrain from doing maarann prayog bcos iam afraid that i may spoil
my gurus name and i had ignored them thinking that gurudev will look
after me.but now i realise that who iam i? to call myself a disciple
neither i have met him in person nor i have lead aappreciable sattwic
life till a year ago.i have just received diksha by photo.do you
think he will accept me as his disciple because he is the only guru
of whom i can be proud.and being a shishya is the only thing that
can make my lifegraceful.


your suggestion is invaluable please help

abhijith hegde