Volume 7, Chapter 20

01-10-2007, 08:43 AM

Diary of a Traveling Preacher

Volume 7, Chapter 20

October 26, 2006

By Indradyumna Swami

Disappearance Day Offering to Srila Prabhupada

Dear Srila Prabhupada,

Please accept my most humble obeisances in the dust of your lotus feet. All
glories to you!

I am writing my offering to you today at Sankari Cor, a most sacred place at
the foot of Varsana hill, in Sri Vrindavan Dhama. Though I have visited this
holy tirtha a number of times, I still cannot fathom my good fortune in
being here. Nevertheless, I am fully aware that the source of such
auspiciousness is your Divine Grace.

As I sit reflecting, I realize the greater portion of my life has been
filled with auspiciousness by your mercy alone. It was only the period
before we met that was full of misfortune, anguish, suffering, and pain. I
shudder when I think of those times, extending hundreds and millions of
births into the past. I think of them only to appreciate the good fortune I
have now.

Srila Prabhupada, your causeless mercy can be matched only by the mercy of
the Supreme Lord. Were I to list the many priceless gifts I have received
from you, they would fill volumes of books. The list began the day I met
you, through the medium of your disciples. Though my memory often fails me
now, remembrances of you are still clear, being of a transcendental nature,
unaffected by the ravages of old age and time.

In my mind's eye, I can still see the tall and noble figure of Visnujana
Maharaja when, 36 years ago, he motioned me to step forward as I stood
transfixed by his enlightened lecture to a group of students who only
jeered.

"Come here, young man," he said in a soothing voice, "and I will tell you of
my spiritual master who can deliver you from this abode of birth and death
and take you to the transcendental realm."

After an hour I turned to the friend who had come with me. "I want to be
just like him," I said.

"What is it that attracts you to him?" my friend said.

"His love for his teacher," I said softly. "He seems to love him more than
anyone's ever been loved before."

Months later, when I finally met you, I understood why. Love is reciprocal,
but your generous blessings upon us seemed much greater than our
insignificant efforts to please you. When I brought you your suitcase, lost
in flight from New York to London, you slapped me on the back. "So much
endeavor in this material world," you said, "but when I take you back to
Godhead, everything will be easy and sublime."

Srila Prabhupada, I hanker for the day when your words will come true and I
will be in your association in the spiritual world, where everything will be
as you said: easy and sublime. But for now, the great endeavor you referred
to - living in this world - is still at hand. Life goes on as always, a
combination of so-called happiness and real distress.

I can tolerate it, of course. You have given me the holy names, your books,
your service, and the association of devotees. But still, all this cannot
relieve me of the real pain in my heart: being bereft of your transcendental
association. For what reason did the Supreme Lord take you away on that
fateful day in November 1977?

It must be in accordance with the Lord's own words spoken to a young Narada
Muni in a forest, countless millions of years ago:

"O Narada, I regret that during this lifetime you will not be able to see me
anymore. Those who are incomplete in service and who are not completely free
from all material taints can hardly see me.

"O virtuous one, you have only once seen my person, and this is just to
increase your desire for Me, because the more you hanker for Me, the more
you will be freed from all material desires."

[Srimad Bhagavatam 1.6.22-23 ]

Srila Prabhupada, in the beginning you gave us your association freely. But
it is obvious from the above verses that to serve you again personally, we
must purify our hearts through a lifetime of service, not resting until your
mission is established in every town and village. Nothing less will do, for
a servant cannot ask for a special favor until he completes the work
entrusted to him.

And so it is that I will try to please you until my final breath. Though my
aging body does not allow me to serve you with the same vitality and vigor
as before, I am praying that whatever experience and realizations I have
gained through the years will inspire my disciples. Together with all your
followers, we hope to fulfill your dreams in those places where we serve
your mission, united in love and appreciation for your Divine Grace. Such
cooperative service pleases you and cleanses the hearts of all anarthas.

But in all honesty, Srila Prabhupada, at times the process seems
painstakingly slow. Thus I truly wonder when I will see you again. Until
that time, I maintain hope by seeing you present in the personalities and
service of my Godbrothers and Godsisters. As the Supreme Lord is manifested
in His creation, as an artist's nature can be perceived in his painting, as
a father's personality is there in his children, so your mercy may be
witnessed in your disciples. By appreciating them, we are in effect
appreciating and associating with you.

Today, many of my Godbrothers are present.

In Jayadvaita Swami I see your straightforward, no-nonsense preaching, able
to stand up to and easily defeat the most formidable opponent.

In Kesava Bharati Maharaja I see your ability to manage a temple project
from inception to completion, providing the devotees with a sanctuary from
the material energy and a place to become purified so they can return to
their preaching.

In Lokanath Maharaja I see your passion for preaching to your countrymen,
with a desire to revive Vedic culture throughout this land. His sweet voice
and charming discourses captivate even my hardened heart.

In Madhava Maharaja, I see your love for mastering and quoting innumerable
slokas, strengthening and giving authority to the timeless wisdom we all
present. I remember you once said with a smile that if we memorize a verse
and quote it several times, it's ours.

In Radha Govinda Maharaja, I witness your ability to present with authority,
clarity, and vision the glories of Srimad Bhagavatam. His expertise is
matched by none, except by you, of course, who bless his words to sound like
yours. He's truly a chosen son.

In Deena Bandhu prabhu I marvel at how one of us, by your mercy alone, has
developed a genuine love for this holy dhama to which you so kindly invited
us. You wanted Western devotees to come here and preach, but the irony is
that he's no longer Western. He's transcended all that. From the dust of
Vraja Bhumi, in which he constantly walks, has been born a true Vrajavasi, a
lover of Radhe Syama.

In Dravida prabhu I see your love and meticulous care for your Bhaktivedanta
purports. And how proud you must be of his steadfastness in the brahmacari
asrama, a true example for many a man!

In Svavasa prabhu I see your love and dedication to your beloved world
headquarters in Los Angeles, a temple which you yourself gave so much time
and energy to.

In Vaisesika prabhu I clearly see your deep compassion upon the fallen
conditioned souls, manifested by a desire to distribute your books to each
and every fallen conditioned soul in this world.

In Aindra prabhu I see your love for the constant chanting of the holy
names. There's more that can be said, but what is the need? For one who has
a taste for the holy names, perfection is guaranteed.

In Dhananjaya prabhu I see your dedication to following the personal
instructions of the spiritual master. You once told Dhananjaya, "Stay here
in Vrindavan for the rest of your life." By following that instruction he
has pleased you and will become an eternal resident of this transcendental
abode in due course of time.

In Kurma-rupa prabhu I see your love for the cows. Once you spoke out
against the entire Western civilization saying, "My challenge is that you
are making friends with the dogs but killing your mother, the cow." Kurma
rupa must be giving you unlimited pleasure by caring for and loving these
earthly cousins of the surabhi cow.

In Bimal Prasad and Chaturatma I see the love you exchanged with all those
who saw you as a friend. To this day I remember you laughing with Bhagaji
inside your quarters here, as he told you stories of Krishna's pranks with
his friends. I wish to also laugh with my friends in that way.

O Srila Prabhupada! The list of such disciples is endless, both here and
beyond, for your glories are known throughout the three worlds. All glories
to all your followers, their service to you, and their compassion upon the
fallen conditioned souls!

In your absence their association is a soothing balm, giving relief from the
pangs of material life. Their presence is a constant reminder that in this
world you live forever by your divine instructions and your followers live
with you. Without a doubt, such loyal disciples will soon serve you in your
ISKCON in the spiritual sky. My prayer on this auspicious day is that I may
also be fortunate enough to be counted among them in that transcendental
abode.

Forever your servant,
Indradyumna Swami

Indradyumna.swami (AT) pamho (DOT) net

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