Re: manantawady/Vasana

Dear Dilip,

Thank you for sending this beautiful note. I am suffering energetic
persecution at work, having dreams of demons and working on learning the
Arati so I can sing it in my sleep and invoke protection from Mother. Under
unfounded accusation and spiritual oppression it is hard to smile but Amma's
picture is smiling on my desk and that makes it easier. The karma would
undoubtedly be worse if not for Her.....

I was interested in the Tribal Chief saying they shouldn't drink any more. I
found that caffeine made me more vulnerable and recently gave it up totally,
not even green tea now, and no chai, either (sob). Anybody else have Vasana
coming up intensely these days?

In exile and dreaming of Infinite Bliss made visible in a little temple I
will build for Mother with my own hands in the spring, at the edge of my
eight trees which I call Mother's National Forest,

Nancy
Coos Bay

--- In Ammachi@y..., RemoteVwr@a... wrote:
> Dear Dilip,
>
> Thank you for sending this beautiful note. I am suffering energetic
> persecution at work, having dreams of demons and working on learning
the
> Arati so I can sing it in my sleep and invoke protection from
Mother. Under
> unfounded accusation and spiritual oppression it is hard to smile
but Amma's
> picture is smiling on my desk and that makes it easier. The karma
would
> undoubtedly be worse if not for Her.....
>
> Anybody else have
Vasana
> coming up intensely these days?
>
> In exile and dreaming of Infinite Bliss


Om Amrtesvaryai Namah!!

Namaste dear sister Nancy!!

are vasanas coming up??????????what a question....a better one might
when don't they come up...it would be a lot easier to answer...NEVER.
Mother is just pushing all those buttons as the Guru...She is testing,
and trying, and testing, and working on Her little ones, just like the
Blacksmith heats up the iron and then pounds on it to make something
beautiful or useful....if you ask the iron how it feels, get ready for
a complaint session...but since it doesn't really know what's going
on in the big picture, we'd probly do better to ask the smith....we're
the iron...and it's pretty hot in this here furnace....and when we're
taken out of the furnace....OUCH that hurts...that Hammer...Didyou
have to hit me so HARD!>? Ouch...and so on...until finally the smith,
satisfied with his brand new work....dips it into the water
"SSSSSSS!!"...We're not quite ready for the "SSSSSS!" yet, so we must
be prepared for some more heat and hammering....

the perfect hammer comes from work...and the perfect anvil is your
desk....get ready...that hammer is coming.....how do i know this...
Mother is doing the same with me at my job....making it VERY
uncomfortable, rearranging things, making little readjustments,
cutting here, cutting there....leaving this little child of hers with
more DAYS at work, but less HOURS/week for the extra days...and thus
some $300 less in a month....Yep...it pinches...Yep it's hot...and
then there's the everpresent threat of "discipline"....as management
dictatorial puts into place their own version of reality, without
consulting either clients or staff....oh yes i've been feeling very
much persecuted at my work too....but i'm trying to see it as Amma's
training...."So you don't want to go to the ashram for training eh,
son?....well i guess i'll just have to bring the ashram to you"
......and thus the training goes on...very intense...tough on the
ego...but that is the way Mother is.....

"She is like a refiner's fire"

a little paraphrase from the Messiah by Handel.....

Mother's job is not to make us MORE comfortable with our delusions and
vasanas, but rather to pointedly bring them up in unforgettable ways,
such that we have the opportunity to work with Her in eliminating or
at least reducing some of them.....and my understanding is that Mother
is stepping up the heat....for me at least, and for many
others...yourself included....

Amma may look cute and extraordinarily ordinary on the outside, but
let us NOT forget WHO She REALLY is.....none other than that Great
Goddess, Bhavatarini Kali Ma....the Divine COP (as Brahmachari
Dayamrita called Her!!) She Who has taken birth just now to bring Her
children home with Her, carrying them all across the vast ocean of
delusions...Her methods may seem abrupt, or a little tough to handle,
but what can we expect with dear Mother Kali as Guru???She Who is the
FORCE of the Sakti....She Who does it NOW...doesn't put anything off
til tomorrow.......so we shouldn't get too comfortable in that hotel
room we call life, because the maid is about to come in and clean us
out for the next guest......

i don't think we could say that the karma would be worse if not for
Her...She is the one bringing you the fruits of those karmas...so that
you may clear out your karmic bank account....drop that huge load
you've been carrying for lives together....and merge with Her....i
think that since we are Amma's children, and She is here with us, She
regards it as the perfect opportunity to step up the intensity and
speed of the teachings....and that is done thru our everyday
experiences, each of which is really Guru Prasad...including the
persecution....it is our REACTION which really matters....whatever
will get that reaction, will continually come up as an opportunity to
release that particular vasana, but everytime we indulge it, we are
actually digging the groove of the vasana DEEPER....so if we
continually avoid the lessons, they will get MORE expensive and MORE
difficult as time goes on, cause we're so dull that we're just not
getting the point....time for the sledge hammer!!

Remember the story of St.Therese who lay dying slowly of tuberculosis
drowning slowly, suffocating over a long time....She reportedly had
this conversation with Christ over the matter.....

StTh: Lord couldn't you just make it a little easier...couldn't you
let me die sooner, or help the pain, or even heal me....i've been your
friend for so long....couldn't you help me?

JC: i treat all my friends like this!

StTh: No wonder then, that you don't have so many friends!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In Our Mother's Love,
and in Her Service
this littlest child
bows again and again
to his darling sisters
and brothers,
Who are All Verily
Embodiments of
Divine Love!!

as ever,

visvanathan

Om Amrtesvaryai Namah!!

I, too, am experiencing the result of "top down" management, micro
management, and am feeling very uncomfortable at work. It seems to be a
theme with my brothers and sisters right now. I vacillate between hoping for
the Love inside myself to stay centered and peaceful and the desire for
management to be replaced with people of understanding and acceptance. I was
very excited about a new position opening up that would be the first ever
effort to work together with the faith based community, but I am hearing that
there are too many "old buffalos" in the agency and that they will be
promoting younger people into these new management positions. So an apple
dangles out there ahead of me, and I can't do anything but wait and prepare
for interviews.

Greetings, brothers and sisters in Amma!

It's been so validating to read all your work
stories. Work has been very difficult for me, also. It
seems to be the area in my life where all my "stuff"
gets played out the most. Work seems so hard at this
time.... sooooo many hours, and soooo much to do.
Right now, I am surrounded by deceit, treachery and
back-biting at work. So much of my day comes down to
who to trust and who not to trust, when to speak and
when to remain silent, what to do and what not to do.
I feel like I need SO much protection around me, and I
pray to Amma and to Divine Mother Durga daily to be
with me and watch me closely. It seems at my job that
quite a few people seek to make themselves look better
by making others look bad. I pray daily to keep my
feet on my path and to keep the path clear of
"demons", that I may do the work that is mine to do
unobstructed and recieve the rewards that are mine to
receive. I even chant japa in the car the whole way
there! I also wear my wrist mala with Amma pendant
attached as a reminder to myself that I am not alone,
that She is with me. As I walk or move, the gentle
tapping of the pendant against my inner wrist soothes
me, and says to me, "I am with you, I am with you".
Thank You, Amma!

I will pray for you all as well. May Mother protect,
help and bless us all.

Om Amriteswaryai Namah!
Om Dum Durgayei Namah!

Michael

PS: Though I haven't written since my introductory
post here, I want to thank you all so much for your
thoughtful and loving replies to my questions. You all
helped me more than you could imagine! I began
composing a reply with the story of "my first time in
Amma's presence" and I became lost in joyful tears of
longing and remembrance. I still have the letter
saved, and I will finish it soon and send it to you
all. Namaste!


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