Fw: 6th grade history

02-28-2002, 01:46 PM

Answers provided by 6th graders during a history test.1. Ancient Egypt
was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote inhydraulics. They lived
in the Sarah Dessert. The climate of the Sarah issuch that all the
inhabitants have to live elsewhere.2. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to
the Red Sea where they made unleavenedbread, which is bread made
without any ingredients. Moses went up onMount Cyanide to get the ten
commandments. He died before he everreached Canada.3. Solomon had
three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.4. The Greeks were a
highly sculptured people, and without them wewouldn't have history.
The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a femalemoth.5. Socrates was a
famous Greek teacher who went around giving peopleadvice. They killed
him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock.After his death, his
career suffered a dramatic decline.6. In the Olympic games, Greeks
ran races, jumped, hurled biscuits, andthrew the Java.7. Julius
Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. TheIdes of
March murdered him because they thought he was going to be madeking.
Dying, he gasped out: "Tee hee, Brutus."8. Joan of Arc was burnt to a
steak and was canonized by Bernard Shaw.9. Queen Elizabeth was the
"Virgin Queen". As a queen she was a success.When she exposed herself
before her troops they all shouted "hurrah."10. It was an age of great
inventions and discoveries. Gutenberginvented removable type and the
Bible. Another important invention wasthe circulation of blood. Sir
Walter Raleigh is a historical figurebecause he invented cigarettes
and started smoking. Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a
100-foot clipper.11. The greatest writer of the Renaissance was
William Shakespeare. Hewas born in the year 1564, supposedly on his
birthday. He never mademuch money and is famous only because of his
plays. He wrotetragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in
Islamic pentameter.Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic
couple. Romeo's last wishwas to be laid by Juliet.12. Writing at the
same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. Hewrote Donkey Hote.
The next great author was John Milton. Milton wroteparadise Lost.
Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.13. Delegates from
the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress.Thomas
Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers ofthe
Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity
byrubbing two cats backward and declared, "A horse divided against
itselfcannot stand." Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.14.
Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln'smother
died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he builtwith
his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing
theEmasculation Proclamation. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln
wentto the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a
movingpicture show. They believe the assinator was John Wilkes Booth,
asupposingly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career.15. Johann Bach
wrote a great many musical compositions and had a largenumber of
children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which hekept up
in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was themost
famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was
halfGerman, half Italian, and half English. He was very large.16.
Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf hewrote
loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyonewas
calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for
this.17. The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts
andinventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started
reproducingby machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a
network of rivers tospring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick
raper, which did thework of a hundred men. Louis Pasteur discovered a
cure for rabbits.Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ
of the Species.Madman Curie discovered the radio. And Karl Marx
became one of the MarxBrothers.