"If he is still in want or unhappiness.. no spiritual life at all..simply making show

[Beggar 0]

 

If i misunderstood what you were saying, please accept my apologies, i just reread your comment, i was thinking that the last line was meant for me, i don't know, can you clarify this expressio ?:

 

"how astonishing that babies soil their diapers or children spoil their milk"

As neophyte devotees we are bound to do things that are akin to a baby soiling its diaper or a child spilling milk (not spoiling). The father or mother does not take offense when the child does these things but sometimes the other siblings will. So as neophytes generally we can see the really dumb things that our spiritual brothers and sisters do, but not our own follies.

[Guest guest]

I guess you are right about what you guys are saying, should pray for these unfortunate devotees, who are not able to treat others with respect. And i do for one lately, who is very disturbed and is some kind of slave driver, who takes "being the servant of the servant" a little too.....well.....never mind.

Not that i really pray deeply for this devotee, but i take it briefly in my prayers, sometimes.

 

But why can Prabhupada say that those socalled devotees are rascals and i should see the faults in myself ?

I know i am not Prabhupada offcourse, but maybe i can see what you are saying, my reactions are like defensive and seeing the fault in them, sometimes expresses itself as telling other devotees about their faults, a kind of gossiping, i guess, done in a state of passion, i feel, carried away on the waves of anger and feeling offended and treated wrongly.

I guess the irritated and faultfinding backbiting mind has to be expressed one way or another, should work on that.

[Guest guest]

And this devotee who slimed and drewed while carrying a bag and kicked down on me....he has the face of a reptile.....so every time i see him (he greets me nowadays...finally...but very difficult for him...seems like that), every time i see him, i think by myself...reptile face, can't greet him with a smile as i would like ,as he never greets back with a smile to me and keeps on laughing with other devotees.

 

What to do if some devotees just don't like you and you tried your level best to greet them smiling or so ?

 

I call them names if something like that happens again, like reptile face, can't help it, it's some kind of mental " Gilles de la Touret".

 

But it feels good....

[Guest guest]

And don't get me wrong, please, the majority of devotees i have the greatest time with, we have fun, laugh, make jokes, have inspiring conversations with and so on...,so almost all of them, except 3 or 4, we just don't seem to get along, i don't know what i have done wrong to them, i just don't understand.

 

I guess i cannot have everybody as a friend.

[brajeshwara das 0]

Just try and please the devotees, don't worry if they like you, even be extra nice to the ones you have problems with. Try and make Krsna your friend, everyone else make your master. They are Prabhus. Serve them, even if they are harsh with you. You will attract your best friend thisway, Krsna is attracted to the negative. And try not and call them names, even in your own mind. That is offensive and will do you great harm.

[Guest guest]

Thank you for the advice, but it seems very difficult to stay friendly to someone who just rather sees me burning in flames.

 

But i think i know what you mean, but then i am mentally having the greatest time of my life, seeing them in such distress, rather then to please them or have pity on them.

 

And what was Prabhupada's solution to all this, other then calling them rascal devotees, making a show of their Bhakti ? (One of my favorite quotes now).

[brajeshwara das 0]

We should consider we are the rascals. That's my opinion. Srila Prabhupada was Guru, he can do that, you shouldn't.

[Guest guest]

I am a rascal in the sense that i know which buttons to push to anger the devotee more who is already disturbed and angry with me. That's my nature.

 

I just don't know how to handle a situation in which i am commanded as a slave, to be controlled as a slave, to be looked down on as an inferior devotee, to be smashed when i am happy and they not, and they are reacting envious on this happiness..... sometimes i laugh this away and become happy because they are not, but wishing the best for them, sometimes i have to relax my self, carefull with my words and actions.....

 

What to do, any advices ?

[brajeshwara das 0]

 

I am a rascal in the sense that i know which buttons to push to anger the devotee more who is already disturbed and angry with me. That's my nature.

 

I just don't know how to handle a situation in which i am commanded as a slave, to be controlled as a slave, to be looked down on as an inferior devotee, to be smashed when i am happy and they not, and they are reacting envious on this happiness..... sometimes i laugh this away and become happy because they are not, but wishing the best for them, sometimes i have to relax my self, carefull with my words and actions.....

 

What to do, any advices ?

First, your nature is that of a loving servant of the Lord. Being a rascal is your mundane conditioning. Maybe your eternal self is playful but this is perverted by the material energy.

 

Maybe you are in the wrong place. If you can't make peace with others there find somewhere you feel more comfortable. It isn't good for you to make offenses there and have a terrible time trying to serve, find someplace with like-minded devotees that you feel nurtured by and have affectionate dealings. Remember that Maya will try and stop you from serving. Don't trust your mind, question your perceptions because they are flawed. Things aren't as they first appear. What appears to be coming at you is coming from you.

 

Are you initiated? If not look for your Gurudeva. That is a worthwhile pursuit.

[Shakti-Fan 0]

Why don't you write this devotee a letter explaining how you feel about the situation. it could be something like:

Dear_____ Prabhu,

I feel that there are certain things going on in our relationship that are neither healthy or good for our mutual spiritual advancement. Many times when I interact with you I walk away feel not very good about my self. I am trying to be humble but at the same time I do not want negative emotions to build up within myself.

Yours in service ----------

Anyway something along these lines. If you don't do anything and the negative emotions will build up then you could either leave, become depressed or explode in an angry rage. False humility is no better than false renunciation.

[brajeshwara das 0]

 

If you don't do anything and the negative emotions will build up then you could either leave, become depressed or explode in an angry rage. False humility is no better than false renunciation.

 

Exactly.

[Guest guest]

I am not in the wrong place because a few devotees are not nice to me, that would mean that i can never be somewhere, cause there will be always people not liking you, is my experience.

That means i have to run and run from places to places and so on.....

No, believe me, i am in the right place and it is not so bad that i constantly make offences, but at times.

 

You know, one Prabhu already left and i am not the only one who is happy with that, there were more devotees who avoided him, he was a disturbace to more devotees.

 

The situation now is better, except for only one who doesn't like me, there is another one, who never greets me back , so i stopped greeting him...offenseless.

 

No, the main problem was with the one who left, with his wife, they were disturbances.

 

And a letter, yes, that could be a good idea, but not too long ago, i made a joke with a Mataji here and she didn't like that joke, reacted like i was contaminated, so i felt bad about it and wrote her an email in which i apologized and asked for forgiveness, i never got any answer back !!!

 

So you know.....what to do ?

 

I am not angry with her, not at all, but i guess she doesn't like me anymore, i mean, what is the trouble of writing back ? 3 minutes ? 2 minutes ?

Now i will let her for what she is, no more contact. It's oke with me.

 

So, i am in the right place, only i have to work on myself a little bit more.

[Guest guest]

And false humility is no better then false renouncation ?

 

I don't understand this......

 

Should i feel bad about my self then ?

 

I mean, i already wrote...there comes the self-hatred....

 

I like myself and i am not planning to not liking my self, because somebody doesn't like me......

 

I sometimes don't understand you guys....is there a difference between devotees and non-devotees ?

 

I mean...i react on devotees the same way i would react on non-devotees.

 

Is there a difference, i mean, is it oke to react to non-devotees like i do, but to devotees i have to learn to deal with it in a way you advice to me ?

 

Do we discriminate ?

[brajeshwara das 0]

No, you shouldn't descriminate, don't treat anyone badly, try and be good to everyone. Remember Krsna is in the heart of every living entity, and they are all just like you. 'Do unto others...' as Jesus said, His Golden Rule. Trinad api sunechena, Mahaprabbhu's Golden Rule. And be kind to yourself as well, remember it is the modes of material nature that cover everyone, you aren't your anarthas and neither is anyone else. Underneath all the coverings we are all jiva souls, dear to Lord Krishna.

 

False humility is where you are pretending to be humble but really you aren't, humility is something to be cultivated not imitated. What is the value of a plasic flower, it looks good maybe but it doesn't smell sweet. You have to try and grow it through seeing yourself as small and insignificant, and giving honor and respect to others. Or so I've heard, not like I am humble or anything, I have all the same problems you are facing. Just try and see your own faults and work on them, and forgive others their faults.

[Guest guest]

Thank you for this advice, i think this writing on this forum made me a better person, not only this writing, but the answers given to me by you guys,

i will try to better myself, but you have to understand i grew up on the streets in a tough neighbourhood, was a criminal, did drugs, partied all over, dated prostitutes for years, stole cars, stole money from people, commited credit card fraud, had many fights and so on, it is not a easy way, this way, you know.....

[brajeshwara das 0]

One of the devotees I respect most was a criminal, did so many heavy things, spent lots of time in prison, but is now a very learned pandit, maintains his family as an example grha for the whole community, and is very dear to my Gurudeva. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right? I commend you Prabhu for coming to devotional life and wish you all the best in your search for Sri Krishna.

[Guest guest]

Although i have to say i had (and still have) a very loving, strong and caring mother and good familylife.

 

What kind of magic forum is this ?

 

I just went to Guru Puja and this Prabhu, who doesn't like me, was doing the Puja and he blew the conch shell in the most powerfull way, i enjoyed and for my sake he could have done this a few times more.

I thought by myself : oke, you don't like me, but it is your problem, not mine anymore, i just like the way you blow the conchshell.

 

I don't have to be friends with him, but the resentment is totally gone !!!!!!

And i was trippig on a few devotees who were just became ecstatic, without jumping, making mystic handgestures and so on (i don't like this jumping). It was a nice Guru Puja.

 

That's why i ask myself what kind of magic is going on here on this forum ??

[Guest guest]

Oh, and thanks for wishing me the best, you're very kind, really.

All the best to you too and may you be blessed by the Lord, Shri Krishna.

[Guest guest]

I thought about the folowing a lot, still i m gonna write it down.

 

The next day, on the 23rd, during Mangala Arati, i felt this Prabhu entering the temple and some resentment cropped up again.

When he approached me, to bow down for Prabhupada, inwardly there erupted an uncontrolable explosion of anger, just for a few seconds but very intense. This was directed towards him.

 

I was totaly puzzled and in shock, although it felt good....like in the good old days.

I turned to the Deities and directed a feeling of : "what is going on, Krishna ?"

towards them.

 

In the next days whenever i met this Prabhu again, there was no resentment at all anymore and now it is totaly neutral, no anger or being irritated and also no joy upon seeing him (that would be the day!!).

 

I think this eruption was representing the last mental anti-prabhu jerks towards him.

 

So another example of how the mind fights back....viciously......and how it was purified along the way.......