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SubashRao

I think I am weird

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<font color="red">PAMHO</font color>

 

Today I don't think I want to ask anything...

I just want to share my feelings here & want to know if anybody here feels the same...and also seeking advice that can help...

 

 

I think i'm having problem to love or to show love...It doesn't mean that i'm wicked hearted...no, not at all...it's just that I feel i'm not loving anybody fullhearted even my parents....I like my parents,my family relatives, friends etc...

 

but when I try to show it...for example I buy card for my mother on Mothers Day...I think i'm not doing it out of love...it's just more like responsibility...Maybe i'm too afraid of attachments...because of this I feel like i'm only pretending...

 

but when I'm watching any sentimental movies or very touching tv programs, devotional movies like Annamayya, tears will roll down my cheeks...

 

Anyone similar here?

 

 

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Annamayya... the sound track was great. I love Annamacharya sankeerthanas!

 

Well, the movie with Nagarjuna was kind of odd, but some of the songs were pictured really well. Banupriya was good as Lakshmi. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

Well, just keep praying to Krishna to make you love Him. As soon as you love Krishna, you love everyone else too. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

I think your being affected by the Annamayya movie is a good sign, though /images/graemlins/wink.gif

 

Love,

Vanamali

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It is as natural to give love as to want to receive it. Loving relatioships means both accepting and giving love. This is a natural urge from the soul.

 

We are all at a very difficult and awkward stage. A stage of transition from being involved in the frustration of illusory relatioships and their false imitation of love to the real thing.

 

Some renunciation is required. How can I love my parents, as my parents, when I learn that my only parent is the Supreme Lord? So it seems we have to act on two tracks for a while. Paying them all due consideration even while pulling out of the identification that those illusory relationships demand.

 

One time Gour Govinda visted the Berkeley temple for a week or so. Such a wonderful unpretentious devotee. During one talk he implored the audience to not reject their parents because "they were meat eatters" etc. That doesn't mean we stay under their control either but there is way to handle such difficult transitions with some grace and in a way that they feel less likely to feel that Krsna consciousness is a threat to them. But still we must be firm in our resolutions and move towards Krsna not matter what.

 

You aren't alone in those feelings Subash. Nor are you weird. The situation we have dreamt ourselves into is weird.

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I fell into that trap myself when I was young and first started reading Bhagavad Gita. I started figuring my parents, friends etc. were "screwed" because no matter what I did or said they still kept eating meat etc. Needless to say my relationships went to hell. Its definetly a balancing act trying to live up to Krishna conscious principles and maintaining friendships and family relationships.

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Requiring great finese to live a life of such balance.

 

 

From Teachings of Lord Kapila - purport

 

It is essential that we disassociate ourselves from this tree by detachment. Cutting down this tree is very difficult, but it is possible with the weapon of detachment. There is a Bengali proverb that states: “I’ll catch the fish, but I will not touch the water.” That type of intelligence is required. In America we see many old men on the beach who have retired from their business to waste their time trying to catch fish. They are not very cautious, and they touch the water. However, we have to live in this material world in such a way that we do everything for Krsna but do not touch the water of the material world. In this way, we will have no attachment to things of this material world.

 

 

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