Govindaram 1 Report post Posted June 21, 2004 Hare Krishna How do you be tolerant, it seems when I am trying to make advancement in spiritual life, people test my tolerance, and I just can't seem to be able to take it, esp when its coming from your own blood, this is a serious problem of mine. haribol Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sandra 0 Report post Posted June 21, 2004 Hare Krishna. I went through this too! My dad went totally berseck with me. We had a couple of fights. He said i give too much time/importance to prayers when i should be concentrating on my studies and other stuff girls my age do. So i made a few compromises. What i would do is balance my time between studies and prayers, bring him prasadam (cause he loves those, especially the sweets), try to avoid topics i know he's touchy about (money issues versus bhakti issues and above all, vegetarianism!) and only discuss stuff he's comfortable with. I also try to make him participate more. I introduced him to some devotee friends and he was cool about it - much to my surprise. Know what? I dragged him to the temple on father's day. He couldn't refuse as he had promised! There was some euro soccer match playing on TV and much against his will he accompanied me! But he did not regret it afterwards! My first time at Remuna Dhama Temple here in Toronto! Krsna seemed so cocky and Radharani had attitude that day! I guess my technique is working... (crossing my fingers here!) but I do hope you work out things with your kins. You need their blessings too for advancement and you do not want them to think that KC is coming between you and them. Or if matters come to worse, just make your KC a personal private issue and with time, they'll get used to it. My dad is still non-veg but he's more understanding lately... It's hard to admit that you can't change human habits and it can get to you sometimes... But dad actually makes the effort of using seperate cooking utensils for his non-veg preparations now... He was adamant about it at first but with time, he's softened... Pray to Radheshyam to melt your folks heart and who knows they might even support you one day... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Govindaram 1 Report post Posted June 21, 2004 Sorry if I still sound intolerant, but thats all good, but still I KNOW for a fact I can't change my folks mind, they are like mules, they follow each other, actually I don't want to waste my time with them, they are doing ok, actually my mum offers food {now and again} when she feels like it, my dad is on planet Pluto, or could be Mars, I mean I bought a Gujrati version of AS IT IS Gita, but she has not read it in like urm 5 months? Maybe a page?, I don't even talk to my dad, I think he is mute, when I am around, some sort of remote-control? Also what you said about getting blessings of parents, I DO understand that, but if your parents are imperfect more than you or maybe same or less, I don't understand what the benefit is? You can see from what I said, I'm having a really bad day, I was like spend so much time making an Internet site, now its been awashed with pop-ups and banners, complety wasted my time. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gHari 0 Report post Posted June 21, 2004 You can save the .html files. Try free sites like mine. They also give you 100meg mailbox. Sign up for a mail account, then you get a free website. The HTML files should work anywhere. They have only a small added box which is easily killed, no puke-ups. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AncientMariner 0 Report post Posted June 21, 2004 One time I had a nervous breakdown and my Dad burned all my books including a copy of Bhagavad Gita because he thought that the books were the causes of my mental problems. It never occured to him that him running out on my mother so he could sleep with another woman might have had something to do with all the negative emotions I was feeling. Now that I look back on it some of the books he burned probably were worthy of being burned but it really made me mad that he burned Bhagavad Gita. Luckily we haven't ended up killing each other and although he is still much more interested in Nascar than he will ever be in Krishna we have at least a functionable relationship and it certainly makes my life easier and my devotional life easier to not harbor so much resentment against my father. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Govindaram 1 Report post Posted June 21, 2004 You want your family to be really interested in KC, and when they not you feel sad/angry/frustrated, maybe could be a lack of confidence, or anything, but what you said about 'nearly killing' sounds harsh but thats how you feel, its very hurtful, I hope if I ever become a parent, oh I just thought of something {ahem} it can't be easy being mother/father can it? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Govindaram 1 Report post Posted June 21, 2004 http://www.geocities.com/theholynameofkrishna do krsnanama. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gHari 0 Report post Posted June 22, 2004 Not sure what "Do Krsnanama" meant? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Govindaram 1 Report post Posted June 22, 2004 Eh? what? Nama? Yes I am fast indeed, I tested it works fine. My fav is the srooling 100 Names of Mahaprabhu, have not put that up yet, later, I'm not superman! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AncientMariner 0 Report post Posted June 23, 2004 My family are mostly 7th Day Adventists and they think anything to do with meditation, yoga, Krsna etc. is the work of the enemy (Satan). My uncle is a 7th day Adventist and his son married a Mormon and became a Mormon and now my uncle says things like "I have to enjoy my son while he is on Earth because he won't be in heaven with me." I have a Christian friend who is a hunter and he says things like "My neighbor is being controlled by the enemy (Satan)because she is an animal rights activist." After all that and I am the crazy one because I believe God is a blue boy. America is a strange place to live. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted June 23, 2004 Just dont try to change them, Govindaram, thats the point. Accept them as they are, believe me, you are not any superior to your daddy wacthing nascar or football on TV. If you think you are, thats pride and arrogant thinking. You are interested in spirituality, while he is not. So it is your job to pray for them and do your bhajan nicely, because that will bring blessing to all your family members. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Govindaram 1 Report post Posted June 23, 2004 AncientMariner I have a Christian friend who is a hunter and he says things like "My neighbor is being controlled by the enemy (Satan)because she is an animal rights activist." amazing! 'Thou shall kill little animals for fun', I watched something on TV about a Church Priest they were like hunting, and enjoying the kills, I was shocked. Guest If you think you are, thats pride and arrogant thinking Maybe, I was under that impression, but this doesn't apply for everybody, some people are truly nice devotees. Hare Krsna! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sandra 0 Report post Posted June 23, 2004 people can be so cruel... Seriously, i have a hard time even killing a mosquito! I'm like sheesh! I can't stand the sight of blood. The smell from the meat section in the supermarket is enough to get me going the other way... It's just... in one word: repugnant. Guest, I don't think Govindaram is arrogant because i react like him sometime (It's just about getting your frustrations out!) In no way, does that mean that i don't love my folks, we just don't agree on many issues... My dad even now makes some offensive remarks and i just ignore them. I try my best to explain stuff to him but when it gets outta hand, i am quick to get annoyed... (Unless you care for your folks, you wouln't react that way, right?) Human nature... but that's it! See, i want them to benefit from KC too and so, my intention isn't twisted or anything but it just isn't valued by those i consider my family. Now if i were to earn a big degree, marry a rich fellow or the like, they'd probably think better of me and that's really upsetting. For them, material advancement wins over spiritual advancement. But i do pray that they get the Lord's mercy and that they might one day have a change of heart and let me tell you, that praying for others does work... We argue less now! IMO, sometimes when we say stuff to others and they get hurt, it kinda becomes an obstacle in our own spiritual life - so i try my best not to offend anyone, even if they are not exemplary themselves... Guess what? I read all these anger management, etc articles just so i could become more tolerant and to see if it wasn't me who was actually responsible now and then or if i could improve my communication skills... But you have to agree, it's tough sometimes! I ain't perfect and i'm not taking that as an excuse or maybe i am...Oh well... =P Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted June 23, 2004 I never said Govindaram or anyone else was arrogant. What I said was that sometimes devotees tend to consider themselves superior to their "karmi" (how I hate this word) family members, try to preach to them, and when they refuse, they get angry and offensive. This is arrogance. I perfectly understand how difficult it is to practice one's religion in an inimical environment, and yes, one gets frustrated sometimes. That is just human. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sandra 0 Report post Posted June 24, 2004 Sorry i misunderstood. Yeah, i understand how somebody else could be tempted to think that we're being arrogant... when we behave the way we do... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
