But somehow or other I ended up at a Bhaktivedanta bhakti- yoga centre

[Guest guest]

Dear Spirit Souls,

 

Here is a short story of how i first met the devotees of Krishna

back in the spring of 1981:

There i was running away,

(or at least trying to)

from my bad karma,my family,my horrible life of suffering-

but i tried to tell myself

that i was a seeker of the truth.

 

I was on my way to becoming

(of all things)

a born- again Christian.

I had been on the road as a hippie,a roadie , a vagrant

taking odd jobs,

moving about,

hitch-hiking across the country

mostly getting into trouble...

For the better part of two years since

i left home at 18 years of age.

but somehow or other

I ended up at a

Bhaktivedanta bhakti- yoga centre

Chanting Hare krishna and taking strawberry halava prasadam.

I was a burnout;

And the Lord did save me.

( Thank you Lord Krishna

for you kind mercy on this fallen soul.)

 

I remember listening to the lecture

A devotee gave on the Bhagavad-Gita

I was struck by the truthfulness of the philosophy.

"We are not this body.We are spirit souls,etc..."

 

It answered a lot of my questions.

God,It disarmed me totally.

I remember the kirtana before the lecture:

the devotee chanting Hare Krishna

playing melodiously on

a harmonium.

(How the material world faded

and a spiritual dimension opened up...)

He lectured,

Poking fun at the materialists

who tried in vain to enjoy this material world

through their material senses.

 

And so it made a lot of sense to me

back then ,

Well, it still makes a lot of sense to me now...

[Guest guest]

I now want to keep myself pure

like an drug addict who wants to stay off drugs forever

Let me consecrate myself

@ Your Lotus feet

Dear Lord

 

It's nice to keep clean inside and outside

 

I mean that purified feeling

of wanting

to connect

with You?

Through intense prayer

chanting Hare Krishna

Calling out

petition

longing.

 

My Dear Lord Krishna

Please help me

Please save me

 

You can do it

Your mercy I do want

make me worthy

force me if need be

to taste that elxir of immortality

so that i don't forget you anymore

 

Allow me to sing

The words of Thakura Bhaktivinode

in His Saranagati Bhajans

May they become one with my heart.

[Guest guest]

O my Dear Lord Krishna,

 

will there be a time for me to be in

genuine Krishna Consciousness

where my mind is spontaneously flowing to

the nectar of Your lotus feet.

 

As part and parcel

of

Krishna

I am trying

(Perhaps)

Too hard

(Perhaps)

by the Lord's grace------

Alone

I humbly request

Your permission

so that I may be purified of my

dirty conception

All based on this body and mind

And so I've embarked

on this spiritual journey

that leads to Your Lotus Feet

 

Dear Lord Krishna

Only for that purpose am i now tapping away at a keyboard

I shall not look at anybody in the face

but

Your Sweet Loving Smiling Face

Dear Lord Syamasundara

 

Take these broken words of mine

imperfectly composed

as offerings of worship.

 

Om Namo Bhagavate Vasudevaya

Om Tat Sat

[Guest guest]

For describing experiences you've had traveling the world in search of spiritual life.

 

The experience of faith

 

Where do I place my faith?

 

In Sri Guru

His words pierce my most wicked illusions

of the lust anger and greed

of this maya jagat

His example is there for me

in my heart

to draw all divine inspiration

Sri Guru has come from Krishna's world

performing acarya-lila

descended here in this material world

to save me.

 

How does Sri Guru save you?

 

I was traveling on the chariot of the mind

Coupled with false ego,false pride

Fast,faster,fastest...

Until He came to get me off this mind platform

By giving me the Holy Names to chant:

Hare Krishna Maha-mantra

pure spiritual sound

from his lotus lips.

 

 

[Guest guest]

 

 

They used to tell me these things out on book distribution.

As if trying to humiliate me.

 

One person even told me with a nasty glare, " You look like someone who just crawled out from underneath a rock."

 

But now after 20 odd years ,

I've entered the "real" world

outside the confines of the temple

and have to earn a living.

I never thought I’d have to do this.

 

Now in "maya" with a wife and kid.

I guess it could be worse-

I could have two kids to feed.

 

Where is Krishna in all of this?

All I really can be sure of

is

what Not to do.

 

But honest to God,

I do Not Know Krishna.

So I'll act in such a way

as Krishna will see me.

He knows my number,

Let Him come in from His end

when He so chooses to appear

in my heart and mind.

 

He is fully independent to real Himself with whoever.

I not a big timer anyway

I'm really a tiny guy.

But Krishna is REAL.

Prabhupada says so.

It must be true.

 

[Guest guest]

 

 

Gopal,

My heart is a knot

a tight fist

a steel block

a pillar of stone

my soul centre is

on hold.

 

Chant The Holy Name !

 

Gopal,

I am not a spirit soul

that cares about others

or offers his life air

willingly

to serve

in the spirit of true devotion

to Guru and Krishna .

 

Chant The Holy Name!

 

Gopal,

This stony block

desperate and heartless

Impersonal and indifferent

a sleepy yawn

a tomorrow that never comes

my life unlived.

 

Chant The Holy Name!

 

It can be replaced

by a Devotee's causeless mercy

making the stone melt

steel-frame disolve

Then a soul united

with

the Lord's desire

once again.

 

Chant The Holy Name!

 

gopaldas