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A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending

divorce, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"

 

She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in

the middle of the property."

 

"I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?"

 

"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my

husband's parents."

 

He said, "Do you have a real grudge?"

 

"No," she replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never

really needed one."

 

"Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your

marriage?"

 

"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't

necessarily like the music, but the answer to your question

is 'yes'."

 

"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"

 

"Yes," she responded, "most days he gets up earlier than I

do."

 

Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you

want a divorce?"

 

"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I never wanted a

divorce. It's husband. He says he can't communicate with me."

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