Frivolous Lawsuits By Jailbirds

[Gauracandra 1]

Supposedly these are all true

 

Frivolous Lawsuits By Jailbirds

 

America's jailbirds don't give up. Disappointed by the criminal justice

system, this plucky lot still has faith in the civil side. Last year, the

states spent $81 million defending what state attorneys general called

frivolous lawsuits. Here are a few favorites:

 

A Virginia inmate tried to sue himself for $5 million on the grounds that he

had gotten drunk and caused himself to violate his religious beliefs by

committing a crime. Because he had no money, he wanted the state to pay the

$5 million.

 

A convicted New York rapist sued the state, claiming he lost sleep and

suffered headaches and chest pains after being given a "defective haircut"

by an unqualified barber.

 

A Nevada inmate sued when he ordered two jars of chunky peanut butter at the

Nevada State Prison canteen and received one chunky and one creamy.

 

A San Quentin death row inmate sued California, claiming his civil rights

were violated because his packages were sent via UPS rather than the U.S.

Postal Service.

 

An Oklahoma inmate alleged his religious freedoms were violated but could

not say just how, because the main tenet of his faith was that all its

practices were secret.

 

An Arizona inmate sued when he was not invited to a pizza party that prison

employees held for a guard leaving his job.

 

An Indiana prisoner sued because he wanted to obtain Rogain for his

baldness.

 

An Ohio inmate sued for being denied possession of soap on a rope.

 

An Oklahoma inmate sued because he was forced to listen to country music.

 

A Colorado con sued for early release because "everyone knows a con only

serves about three years of a 10-year sentence."