HELLO MULLAH, HELLO FATAH (CAMP OSAMA)

[Guest guest]

 

 

HELLO MULLAH, HELLO FATAH (CAMP OSAMA)

Tune: "Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh (Camp Granada)"

[which was to the tune, "Dance of the Hours"]

 

Hello Mullah,

Hello Fatah,

Here I am at

Camp Osama.

Camp is very

Entertaining,

And they say we'll have some fun in basic training.

 

I went bombing

With Mohammed.

He blew up like

Halley's comet.

No use going

To the surgeons,

There were parts of him enough for sixty virgins.

 

All the Sunnis

Hate the Saudis,

And the innies

Hate the outies,

But there's one thing

We agree on:

All the beds are awful hard to get to sleep on.

 

Camp looks nothing

Like the pictures

They showed us at

The recruiter's.

And the food is

Pretty rotten.

Guess it looks like I've been lied to by bin Laden.

 

Take me home,

Oh Mullah, Fatah!

Take me home,

I hate Osama.

Don't leave me

Out in Afghanistan

To find my ashes in a can.

 

Take me home,

I promise I won't

Pierce my ears

Or look at girls like

Britney Spears.

Oh, please don't make me stay,

I've been here one whole day.

 

I hear airplanes,

They're approaching. . . .

All our bases

Are exploding!

There's no hiding

From a bomber--

Must close quick now 'cause I'm leaving Camp Osama. . . .

 

Sixty maidens,

And they're virgin,

But a slightly

Different version:

They all look like

Janet Reno!

Mullah, Fatah, this is hell but how did we know?

 

Charlie Henrickson, copyright 2001