Guest guest Report post Posted December 4, 2007 Well My goodness Linda, sounds like a prayer is needed for that whole house so I will definitely pray for them! Let us know if things change and like you, I don't think I could handle the constant chaos! Love, Katherine Linda <crazycats711 Tuesday, December 4, 2007 10:41:35 PM Re: - Debs clearing My mom lives with my brother and his wife. She take care of my mom plus her own mom who does have dementa. She also takes care of her mentally challenged brother, who lives there as well. It is a mad house there all the time. My mom never gets much rest night or day and is always worried that the dementa mom is going to set the house on fire. She smokes and is up during the night and the mentally challenged brother and the sister-in-law smokes as well. My mom is not suppose to be around smoking because of her asmatha. The brother sets there an blows smoke in her face all the time just to be mean and he is always saying hateful things to hurt her feelings. He thinks it's funny to make her cry or get mad. My mom is given medicene to help her sleep, but the dementa mom is left running around the house all night unsupervised. She sleeps all day so they don't have to deal with her. It makes no sense to me. Also, I am suppecting that the sister-in-law is taking my mom's pain meds and only giving my mom over the counter pain med. So she is laying there suffering on top of it all. It really makes me sad. The dementa mom is always seeing poeple and wants them out of her house, but I think she is just getting comfused with family members and friends coming and going and thinking they are strangers. Sometimes she thinks she is still a little girl and tries to play with the kids. It is a mad house all the time and really too much for my sister-in-law to be doing on her own. She babysets her grandkids a lot, as well. I know I could not handle all that 24/7 by myself. Linda Kundalini-Awakening -Systems- 1 , " flowerpowers7777 " <flowerpowers7777@ ...> wrote: > > Dear Linda, > Sorry about your mom. You know I think (and we'll let Chrism answer) > that sometimes seeing things are caused by drugs and sometimes not. I > know someone who was first coming down with Dementia use to sit on > the couch and there was this mirrored wall and she use to say to > everyone to please tell those people to get out of her house. > Everyone just kinda kept saying theres noone there over and over and > she really did not have anyone that believed her. I told them that > maybe she was seeing things and maybe the mirrors could be covered > and see if that helped. But they wouldnt and I always think about > her, how whether we believe it or not, wouldnt it be nice if these > people had someone to talk to and some sorta help. > > With my Aunt it seemed like (this is again before drugs) that all her > subconscious thoughts were playing out in front of her. For her she > kept seeing the priest having affairs with all different women and > they would come to her house in the middle of the night and use her > basement. She would throw chairs down the basement steps and call all > her help " whores " and stuff. It was crazy, but in her mind she saw > this and it was happening and I don't know maybe some validation or > something would be reassuring. Like hey I believe you are seeing this. > Anyway at the end she was swearing at everyone and calling them all > sorts of nasty names including me, but I just held her hand and told > her I loved her and I knew that she loved me too! Sometimes she would > still get mad and pull her hand away and try to spit on us, but > sometimes just sometimes I'd see something in her eyes and face and > for a moment you knew you were comforting her. > > My Aunts wish was that she wanted to stay in her home till the end. > But even with round the clock care she was doing all sorts of > dangerous stuff. She swore at all the help and was really nasty to > them that they would all quit. She did have family help, but she > again would not move in with anyone. Finally my mom had to put her in > the Nursing Home and she never forgave her. My mom who for over the > past 20 yrs drove her to all her appts, grocery shopped for her did > everthing for her. My mom felt horrible about it but in the end > realized even with help she couldnt do it anymore. She was always > calling the police saying people were in the basement and at all hrs > my mom and many family members were there. Anyway it would have been > nice though if she could have had her wish to stay home. Lots of > times when she looked at me she thought I was my mom and would spit > on me...not really remmebering why she was mad. Although the kinda > funny thing is that she stayed feisty till the end! When she was at > the home and other old women would roll by in their wheel chairs, she > would snap at them " you Slut " . Can u imagine, a nice 97 yr old woman? > > Anyway who can say whats right. I guess I just think whatever that > persons wishes were while they were still of sound mind would be what > I'd try the hardest to honor. On the one hand I'd want to be home, > but on the other I wouldnt want to be a burden. The thought of my > loved ones having to be with me 24/7 would stop what they were doing > and I really wouldnt want that. Did your mom ever talk about this to > the family? Well wishing you, your mom and your family the best and > lots of love to you all! Keep us updated how things are going. > Deb > ______________________________\ ____ Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now. http://mobile./;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted December 4, 2007 Linda, I don't know the circumstances or anything, but is there a way that she can live with you? Just a thought! I hope things get better and like I said she and the rest are in my prayers as well as you my beloved sister! Love, Katherine Linda <crazycats711 Tuesday, December 4, 2007 7:44:45 PM Re: - Debs clearing A lot of old people in these circumstances are put on drugs that cause them to hallucinate. They aren't actually seeing something real are they? I was just wondering, because the last time my mom was sick with some viral something the medicene they gave her caused her to have hallucinations and she was really frighten by it. I wanted to talk to her about it, but we didn't get to have any privacy. I could tell she was really upset about it and wanted to talk to me, but didn't want to talk about it with this person that was there who would not leave. Arrrhhh! I wish my mom could have better living conditions. It makes me so sad to know how she is having to live her last days. I think she would be better off and happier in a nursing home, but the rest of the family don't agree. " sigh " Linda Kundalini-Awakening -Systems- 1 , " flowerpowers7777 " <flowerpowers7777@ ...> wrote: > > > Thank you Chrism. This makes good sense. I really appreciate all this > help. This has got me thinking about the people in Nursing Homes that > see stuff and are extremely frightened and freaking out. Wonder what > would help them? My Aunt had Dementia and saw all sorts of stuff. She > didn't want to sleep at night and would throw chairs at stuff noone > else could see. Much I know was her subconsious, like seeing her Priest > in the basement with her help ect. She was one of the strongest people > I have known in my life. So of course she fought all these things like > crazy, but I still wonder if Camphor or Smudging or just what would > help them? What a terrible way to go in such fear like that. Is there > anything we can do for them? > Lots of Love > Deb > ______________________________\ ____ Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Search. http://tools.search./newsearch/category.php?category=shopping Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites