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Pankaja_Dasa

Without Feelings?

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I don't mean to ask this, but sometimes 'I feel@ without any feelings. Like I am always trying to control even small feelings. Like controlling what I eat etc. Which makes me feel Impersonal. Like I am not even alive. Which then makes me get angry at others. (which leads to offences). (which leads to feelings of Maya--ahem-vada. What do I do? And do others feel like that? It stops me from 'chilling' out and being happy with KC.

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I don't mean to ask this, but sometimes 'I feel@ without any feelings. Like I am always trying to control even small feelings. Like controlling what I eat etc. Which makes me feel Impersonal. Like I am not even alive. Which then makes me get angry at others. (which leads to offences). (which leads to feelings of Maya--ahem-vada. What do I do? And do others feel like that? It stops me from 'chilling' out and being happy with KC.

 

Yes I have felt similar things. We try to gain total control over all aspects of feeling because we have been wounded emotionally in the past and we are on guard against being hurt again.

 

This activity drives us into feeling isolation. It does make us feel like we are not truly alive because in this state we are not.

 

What to do? Well we have to work through it by absorbing Krsna consciousness. Krsna will not emotionally hurt us leaving scarson our subtle body and ourselves fearing more is coming.

 

Krsna wants to embrace us and bring us into His world of joy and spontaneous love. But because we are not convinced of this we maintain our on guard stance with hands up to block the next blow. We need to reach out back to Him to complete the embrace. This takes trust.

 

The troubles you describe will disappear when you love to trust Krsna with your heart. So we beginners are at the basic level of learnng to trust Krsna and accept that He has our best interests in His heart.

 

We must trust Krsna before we can have loving exchanges with Krsna.

 

Krsna says"...I will protect you...". We need to trust this promise.

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Yeah sounds right. I don't trust so much, faith. But it's up/down. Sometimes I have faith, others not.

 

Pankaja my brother, don't feel like the Lone Ranger (are you too young to know who he is? ). Anyway we are all going through this. I have these ups and downs hundreds of times throughout the day it seems. feels like I am on a rollercoaster sometimes. iI I don't strictly try to control my ADD my mind goes on these rollercoaster lines constantly and even obsessively.

 

The material condition means being mental disturbed. The material world is where crazy souls are housed as we are not fit to be loose in normal society...Vaikuntha.

 

Be patient my friend. Krsna is helping us more than we can see. he will see us through to the ultimate stage.

 

It is hard to see ourselves but I can see just through your posting here that you have a very sincere attraction to Krsna consciousness. You may not see that but others do.

 

I just worry about you giving in feelings of despair. That is natural as Arjuna shows us in the Gita. Krsna then told him to rise up and fight armed with yoga. We fight these feelings of despair by increasing our chanting hearing and prayer.

 

These feeling are heavy and oppressive and zap our energy to keep going but that is exactly what we must do. Krsna consciousness is "joyfully performed".

 

"Dear Lord Krsna please sustain us by allowing us to enter into that joyous development of consciousness of You." :pray:

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Yeah, what you said is right. If i had a Job (i can't find anything at the moment, even crappy Jobs), it would be good. Everybody needs to work, can't find anything. I am impatient if i need to do my rounds, like (oh man I need to do my rounds, wonder when i will do them), when I was working I was okay. Sitting around all day is totally crap. As you know people look at you differently when you're not working, it is like what is your purpose in life? I don't need somebody telling me it's okay. I just need a frigin Job. !!!

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I just need a frigin Job. !!!

 

I was looking for a job

And then I found a job

Heaven knows I'm miserable now

 

-Morrissey of The Smiths (with my full concurrence)

 

Theist-ji, are you too old to know the Smiths? :P

 

 

HEAVEN KNOWS I'M MISERABLE NOW

Artist(Band):The Smiths <table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"> <tbody><tr valign="top"><td width="50%">

</td><td width="50%">

</td></tr></tbody></table>I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour

But heaven knows I'm miserable now

 

I was looking for a job, and then I found a job

And heaven knows I'm miserable now

 

In my life

Why do I give valuable time

To people who don't care if I live or die ?

 

Two lovers entwined pass me by

And heaven knows I'm miserable now

 

I was looking for a job, and then I found a job

And heaven knows I'm miserable now

 

In my life

Oh, why do I give valuable time

To people who don't care if I live or die ?

 

What she asked of me at the end of the day

Caligula would have blushed

 

"You've been in the house too long" she said

And I (naturally) fled

 

In my life

Why do I smile

At people who I'd much rather kick in the eye ?

 

I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour

But heaven knows I'm miserable now

 

"You've been in the house too long" she said

And I (naturally) fled

 

In my life

Why do I give valuable time

To people who don't care if I live or die ?

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I was looking for a job

And then I found a job

Heaven knows I'm miserable now

 

-Morrissey of The Smiths (with my full concurrence)

 

But, seriously, I never wanted a day job until my first child was on the way. I'd rather not be sitting here 40 hours or so per week, but I can't deny the benefit I've recieved from the discipline of it as well as the social contact (since, by nature, I'm a bit of a hermit).

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Theist-ji, are you too old to know the Smiths? tongue.gif

 

The who? the Smiths? Nah never heard of them. The first concert I went to was Roy Orbison (heard of him) :-). But i was the youngest guy in the crowd at least.

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All I can say is if you are single, then what the hell do you have to worry about?

When I was single I would just walk out to the road and stick out my thumb and go wherever I wanted to go.

 

for the last 20 years I have had children to raise, so my possibilities are limited.

 

my wife left us 10 years ago and I have been raising three kids alone since then.

single people shouldn't have a care in the world.

 

just walk out the door and depend on Krishna and you will be in bliss I assure you.

 

summer is here.

hit the road jack................. go have some fun!

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The who? the Smiths? Nah never heard of them. The first concert I went to was Roy Orbison (heard of him) :-). But i was the youngest guy in the crowd at least.

 

The Smiths are great!!! While he's no Krishna Bhakta (if he is, he never talks about it), the lead singer, Morrissey is an outspoken vegetarian.

 

The Smiths album "Meat is Murder" is a classic.

 

Sure, I've heard of Roy Orbison, Theist Prabhu. I raided my Dad's music collection long, long ago :) I even know ELO, Traffic, Love, Jefferson Airplane, Tim Buckley...

 

My first rock concert was Simple Minds in 1984(ish). One of the devotees was travelling with the lead singer (Jim Kerr) and his wife (at the time) Chrissie Hynde (of the Pretenders) as their chef. We got to go backstage and watch part of the show from the wings (standing right behind Jeff Lyne (of ELO)).

After the show, we met John McEnroe and Tatum O'Neil backstage (Little Stephen of Bruce Springteen's E-Street Band was also there). A devotee gave the couple a small picture of Parvati. "Poverty?!??!" John replied, puzzled, "you're giving us poverty?!?!?"

My brief glimpse into the world of the Devas.

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Yeah, what you said is right. If i had a Job (i can't find anything at the moment, even crappy Jobs), it would be good. Everybody needs to work, can't find anything. I am impatient if i need to do my rounds, like (oh man I need to do my rounds, wonder when i will do them), when I was working I was okay. Sitting around all day is totally crap. As you know people look at you differently when you're not working, it is like what is your purpose in life? I don't need somebody telling me it's okay. I just need a frigin Job. !!!

 

 

That may not being the answer. Have a job and all your probs go away? its not that easy.

 

If you was someone inclined for Krishna Consciousness and not bound to anything i would say ....Tell me what is keeping you from becoming a full time devotee? you could go and distribute books and become very happy.

 

if not that then what about seeing a genuine hypnotherapist who practices EFT and NLP or EMDR? they can sort you out to some extend and get you back on track.

 

Just dont think that the future will be like the past, there is always a silver lining in the sky and you can plan your future now. Have you got any plans? No? then start making plans now.

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