seamusjcarroll

i am sat here alone anonymous to all but in truth we are never alone in this world or the next lonliness is a disease of the mind,compelled by belief patterns that formulate our perceptions of reality ,we all know a single idea can kill, the horror of despaire rooted in death, to imagine breathing within one of these physical bodies for the first time,but in cognitive form, why ?.everything is fear , fear of death fear of loss fear of pain, fear illuminated in the mind is never ending , thinking and feeling, the plug hole off life sucked out, outwards, as if on a journey into the unknown recesses of the creation, but where did this journey begin,now there are a million stories of origin , from big bang to lizards , and so forth . the athiest of this world have brought the whole world to its knees. god is niether, personel ,impersonel, or localised, he is all that is , in christian text they say that we are made in the image of god in veda it is said that this world is a dim reflection of his .how to grapple with such ideas lost in the lies of time and space ,all this comming and going, as if to look at the spectacal of the drama of it all, the more outwards we look, will always reveal more, to see, taste, touch, think and feel, all consuming, like the fat man that can not stop eating the addict that is sucked into death , we are all addicted to something, bound by action we have no choice but do, the clever having surveyed for a while discerne between this and that and gradually rifinethere lives into a quest for truth and goodness, we can become humane and good , within this world, but still fully identified with this body,mind and feeling we continue to suffer,because we have no spiritual knowledge the first precept is that we are not these bodies , mind or feeling they are only a dim reflection of what we are, but while we are attached to our senses and the tempoary this knowledge is all ways hidden from us and as a result we are inprisoned by what ever is present for us condenced ito this moment of expierence ie now ? where is my mind now what am i feeling now what am i doing now, most are just compelled with no real choice driven by powers beyond there comprehension as said in prison, this is factualy durga prison, and the prison is ignorance, ignorance off our constitutional selfs the self that originated from krishna , even in this world ignorance is no excuse for breaking the law, like wise in gods laws ignorance is no excuse for sin, at the out set it was us that turned away , saying i can do this without my father in deffiance and then going our own way, this is the precept of the age , ill do as i please no one tells me what to do, these precepts are all false, because we all grow old , suffer and die , we all have no choice but pass stoll and urine these bodies are governed by laws beyond our control no excepptions, so what off this so called freedom only illusion, eating sleeping mating and deffending, and the lowest of us breaking every rule of nature and god, it is no wonder the world has become so misserable, with such ignorance. the world is at a pivitable moment, destruction seem iminment on all fronts, from nuclear bombss to pullution, from images of sex life to the total beeakdown of marriage and family,our children dying everywhere either from there own hands or others, through neglect or poverty. we are all indidualy responsible resposable for this sorry state and like sheep we allow the few to crush us all, by the power off money , politcs and irreligion, and these few sit alloff as if beyond gods laws , they will be born as dogs next life , and those that worship them for favour will be born as blood sucking flies,the meek are truly going to inherit the earth, but only if we all wake up from this stupor of sleep and stand for love off god love for all his children love for all his creation. we as gods children by loving god can bring this love into the world, if you do not believe this , then you are either athiest or have no faith unfortunatly these two things are the same, so those of you sat on the fence dipping into both worlds , love and hate , sharing and then taking, make your choice, jesus said you are either for me or agaist me,no duplicity , duplicity is death , no gambling with love of god, the slot machine of life, only one soul , do not caste it into the fire off doubt , confusion and chance, love is the only true knowledge, love allways sets you free love unconditional, not abandoment to love , because you will only be cheated, love by its nature always nurtures and is never associated with pain or suffering love when it is present illuminates everythig and we are all bathed in its light, love allways serves avd is always servant to alllove allways points at god and where love is god is present ,we are only vessels , gods love only passes through, it is not our love , and those who claim it to be there own only burn and are burnt by it , you can not cheat god or the devil all is known , attachment for love off god reveals itself , self effulgent, it is known by commpasion for all, there is no fear in love of god only commpasion for all his children, no hessitation no objection no division no seperation ,as gods children we are natural berrometers off love, becaude when we feel it we know it, even in this world we know when we are loved and the perfection off love is love of god.from heaven to earth and earth to heaven we sing his chorus his glories so all can hear in body,action mind and feeling so all can see hear fell and expirience the unequivical truth and reality off gods love, how will you or any other believe if you do not show your love for god, share all you posses in his service , so that all will be touched for ever by his grace and mercy , every hesitation is sin. how can anyone enjoy while so many suffer, the upheaval off horror has to be replaced by the uplifting of all in gods love. love has become a dirty word in our cultures, refusal of love for attachment has turned us all into setamental folls, snaching only at the tempoary and transient, indulging our children , so they are incappable of surviving, and all the little horrors tommorows monsters, our knowledge is sufficiet to know the truth of these profiles , but still we refuse to see , all this knowledge points only to love, but love we adandone for indulgment and gratification of the senses, and the the price we pay to these lies is our very lives and in time the lives of all as we poison everything with factories producing things we do not need , and the violation of our souls , by men who know and do not care , from soap made from the holy cow sold to hindus who wash the deities cloth and them selves to christians who eat factory farmed with no concerne for the animals ,while others starve because of this greed, this world is made of plenty, but the killing must stop, so all can eat . and soon the water more preciuos than oil to these greedy men , who are stealing it at source to facilitate the production of rubbish for us to buy, while the porest at the end of the river only poison and disease and coca cola vending machines. when will we the people prevent these few from torturing us all . ghandi new the power of love and stood and took blows for us all and in time india ejected the english , who in truth were the few , and then india severed again by the few , and now indians refer only to caste and creed , the opposite of ghandis dream, devide and rule was not invented by the english they just implemented it with great skill , it is kalis cutting of jiva into pieces for desiring to rule but only in durga prison as fragments of ourselves, until we learn the truth of gods rule , let alone natures rule . we are but children tampering with life great machine, instead of assepting our position as gods children ,and servants of only him in all that is .in the west we are spoon fed ground up offal , because the say it is good for us , and subjected to t v from birth and then educated to do there bidding and if we dont agree we are penalosed and subjected to so called prffesionakl , who probe into us as blind as the children self . and when the remedy doed not work , we are druged and when that remedy doed not work we are institutionalized into homes or mental hospitals or prisons , and for those that dont escape , a slippery slope into derpair, and at the gate of hell we take our lives screaming in agony , that we can and will not take it any more ,pleading and crying only to god for release from the torment and injustice of it all, these regimes off hell , are pepetuating there lies and wares everywhere, amarica call , if it feels good do it , has infected us all with images of sex of every kind virtually high wayed into every home and mind, who would have guessed that kali cutting would be bounced off satalites for all to see , there are men now who aer incapable of relating to a real woman, who prefer a darkend room with there computers and a box of tissues ever serching for the next kick , drug induced nightmares, what ever next, the desperation of addiction killing all, this thrust of lust choking the lives of babies away without thought or concern , and at the bottom of the heap not virtual but real women and children die for all to enjoy . mother has become a whore and her children traffic for sex the infection has taken hold everywhere, who, or how will this stop, if not for you and i rejecting this realm for gods , not by suicide or death or by spiritual isolation but by standing as one of gods, by chossing god we become the chosen all races all creeds all religions all that exist here in this realm choose gods love and gods love will manifest in your heart and in this world and all will change . oh mothers of this world raise up our children, and men soft of heart raise up our mothers, and then all will be raised up on high, these few can not win, for gods love knows no barrier pure love can not be defeated, and all those crying for god will be saved ,the sinner may well reject and remain in there respective hells there choice . this inside out reality of soul within , who will refuse when the soul shines forth a chance for all , but give up your sins and set the innocent free, with truth and revealation those who refuse will continue there journeys down and in the end will be burnt by the pain off seperation from love. who knows how or when but only love of god releases pure love into this world. all who understand this message waste no more time quesstions of dogma or scripture right or wrong , choose to be commpassionate now and for ever more ,join togeather in this work be compassionate to each other what ever your differences all is god for without god there is nothing, put away your objections, you will never fathom god he is beyond this realm,but bare whitness to his love by copassion for his children now and all will be runited to his love , RADHI SHYAMYOUR SERVANT SEAMUS J CARROLL

dear prabhu there is need for a gathering , one where we put down our difference and pick up the fact , that without prabhupada , the whole world would be lost , we are all in durgas prison by the fact that we live in these material bodies , iskcon is a hospital and it shows and anyone that takes part is receiving the cure , if insincere there being pickeled or fried as they loose there intelligence the greatest offense is arrogance and to be sentimental destroys spiritual life , in conclusion bhakti shows and can not lie everything else is maya , prabhupadas movement is not maya but the struggle continues against dark forces like a great play , we as jiva atma are never separated from krishna , only a cloud covers our perception the only cure is bhakti , practiced correctly your brains will wake up and be cleansed as your hearts fill with the mellows of radha , our sins burn away as we percieve our helplessness and prabhupadas mercy does flow through us as remedy , there is no other way , all or nothing , krishna will come but not before we please prabhupada your servant seamus j carroll

i shake i quiver this fear that flows sight lost of you my friend of old in darkness born this fear intense blinded by this fear this vessels hold my spirit roams alone crying and crying for a hand to hold oh prabhupada i dare to reach as darkness holds me still i quiver and shake this fear to release as shelter i beg of you this child to hold its fear does burn for you to hold my spirit bring this fear to this door and now gently waits thinking only of you as fear returns to reveal it self soul sooted mind body quakes as soul burns through spirit knows and fells all raging life to cell this pulse of soul cleansing all prabhupads hem to hold this friend he does know he showed us all never alone spirit come home this fear gone this dear friend a friend to all this body glows this mind knows this heart flows to be with this friend of old this dearest friend of all krishna know as prabhupada told this spirits only goal this dear friend to know

dear prabhus throughout this journey, for myself , deep trauma that left bits of mind trapped in apathy and despair , a deep frustration ,that i thought would never go ,,till this day , still slowly lifting , courage comes from krishna ,as he wishes , i have many times screamed for change , and even though i feel helpless at times, the journey continues , and change continues , when i come out of my cave , i pray that love will finally show , i do my best to be loving , but loving some moments is very hard , unless i remember ,as memory comes , tears do flow, for sorrows known , and frustration held , lifts off of my soul , oh jai prabhupada , these long nights of the soul are all cleansing deeply cleansing , i meditate to the root of pain and sorrow until love shows , i put krishna in the center of my woe , my sins i offer up , begging not to be punished , but purification can feel very painful to , a sort of reverse punishment , but the result brings love to all , to bite the bit that hurts and tear it from your heart ,can only be done by love , krishnas love prabhupadas love, we are helpless without it ,this is a time for gathering your gifts and releasing your fears , and prepare for this great work to unfold , we will all be called to duty , prabhupada has not forsaken us , he is ever present with his devotees , even though we are weak and foolish , he is our ever well wisher , and no spiritual work is ever wasted, my track forever crooked as i follow loves goal , love is the path , this moment that we stand , ecstatic arousal , eternal presence , non comprehension , no doubt , a higher state of being , this is prabhupadas wish, and promise , do the work and success is garanteed, jai prabhupada

jai rahda thank you ,

jai rahda please do find some time , it takes me time to write anything ,but i come here to share , my spiritual life , my life , for the moment i have time , im recovering, waiting for instruction and inspiration , when i am strong again , im sure this life will take another twist , but for now patience , i trust prabhupada is guiding me right , so that makes these exchanges all part of my journey home jai prabhupada

no love no gita , no gita no love , the dialogue between krishna and arjuna applies eternal , you ever fight for god, or something else , the something else is illusion , MAYA, in this respect we are all mad. everyone hears a voice inside , as endless chatter, disturbing or not , it takes up your time , bahkti gives you back your brain , the only cure for madness , everything else is temporary , but on your journey, you will pick up so many things, consider before you throw , the world is as it is ,see the contradiction , and then choose what is useful now , no need for, excepting or rejecting , just use your brain , the clever learn from other peoples mistakes , to know something is not useful takes only a moment , because your peace goes out the window , and agitation comes until you realize , and again take up some useful practice , and then peace comes back , freedom from anger and violence , comes very fast to the sincere , but you must still fight , to profess faith is to do , where the doing is more important , than the talking , first word love , doing love first and last , no break , until you are fixed , not rigid but fluid , love rushing into your brain until you can not stop being loving , in a very natural way , when this comes to you , you know it , life is but a moment , love the moment , be loving right now and do not stop , until you stop breathing , live your life anchored to prabhupada and your life will be successful

kama yoga of a sudra this terrible reality , being seprarated from children , i have three children , i no longer live withh , i left these relationships to persue my spiritual journey , my early life creating an entangled nightmare right up to this day ,at the time just before leaving my children , i got a call from one of my brothers, he told me that 2 clairvoyants had told him that my life was going to change , and that i was going to speak the truth , this had already begun , before this call .i remember taking a shower , screaming and crying at prabhupada and krishna banging my head on the wall for it not to be true , this is when i accepted what may happen , my sweet beutiful children , one boy 8 one girl 10 vrinda and syamsunder , this broke my heart , as this burden came opon my soul , i started having terrible flash backs of terror and abandoment , i saw my own brutalised child screaming from the depths , i begged like a demented crazed person , to krishna , to not have to face my child fears , and that he just heal me , in the end i took an overdose , when my mothers dieying face passed through my mind , i was 4 and half yeras old when she took her life , this memory was completly hidden from me , her face , let alone the horrors of the childrens home , spiritual journeys and life journeys one in and one out , one out one in , like breathing or sucking poison more like , jai prabhupada , this philosophy cuts to the very core until all is revealed and restored to krishna at prabhupadas feet , process is life ,bahkti is the process of love that brings life , i stand blooded and scared , and others have suffered as a result , but my heart is aflame ,and oh it hurts , for instruction , to burst prabhupada jai

thank you for tidying up my post , i read , and read , to hear if there is a growing mood ,these demons that seem to run the show , will not succeed , from poison and lies , no love wiil defeat them all, truth already cuts into there souls , same for the rest , we all know our sins and you can not hide , these so called gurus , leaving children to play saint , is very childish , and there followers as you say psychophantics , surely they are not all stupid , next life , the guru becomes a dog and his fanatic diciples become blood sucking worms , to think and die with falsehood , while so close to prabhupada , these people are evil , and ruled by demons , while others are caught in the web and trapped by fear and confusion , not knowing what to do , this is there plan , devide and rule ,prabhupada knew about these demonic forces around him , and maybe they did kill his body , but they can not kill his movement or the philosophy, even though they change it to suit themselves , true devottees never lie and follow the guru without deviation, these rascals demand the same adoration while behaving like pigs , while they lie all the time , again are they all stupid arrogant fools, wiiling to loose this oportunity to go back to godhead ,,,the saddest thing , these people do not believe in krishna , they deep down have no devotion or love ,and serve only themselves , dogs and pigs dressed as devotees , OH NO APARAHDAAAAAAAAAAA and now a thunderbolt is going to kill me , stupid stupid , this is how they keep the truth hidden,,, durga will chop there heads as we all speak the truth jai rahda

painfull points ,i suffered this life to as a child , a terrible bruise opon your soul , i believe now all this was to wake up my soul , the keeper of the key crushed the beast into submission with terror , terror as a child causes savere mental and emotional and sexual problems , my heart goes out to all ,these expiriences are corrosive for the being , without prabhupada i would not be alive, this i know , if i had not suffered enough , my suffering continues but changes separation remains from a true sence of self to just know what to do , the more i live the more simple it becomes , speak the truth and forget consequence and encourage everyone to do the same in the end all the truth comes out good and bad good reactions and bad reactions mixed reactions truth spoke , when this happens in your life , usualy everything breaks , as the truth reveals a huge weight goes and a long wait can come but in the end the bones of the past are exumed from hearts and minds and deeds a shocking mess that all detest let the truth be known , a terrible shock of horror went through me as a child i nearly died as a grown man i tried to die , but prabhupada wispered in my ear and said you are mine , my inner darkness laughed , and now at age 47 i feel almost free from the past ,the deepest bits are still hidden and the crime not revealed , , in kali yuge golden age has begun 10,000 years demons who reveal there sins have a chance to go home , those who conceal there sins will suffer terrible karmic dept and may never come home , to sell your soul , no only a fool would do such a thing , all devotees must come clean , and then be given the love and support to overcome the sins delt and felt , not an easy task for an abused , extra special protection and help is needed , isckon must stand taller than all the other religions and face these children with love devine love as we learn and teach how we heal how to heal we teach the whole world how to heal , this has been our mission so far , to learn for the world , kept in separation , as we suffered these lives at prabhupadas feet now in prabhupadas name teach tell the truth hear listen here speak do as prahupada would wish us to set the demons free set isckon free this is the destiny of our time people recover and then speak the truth , bones are already jumping out of the ground in other quaters , this will also be isckon fate , some will repent before its to late , krishna is very infectious , kali is deadly , i would rather an infection than my head cut of , as a child my neck was streched until i feel unconcious , thats when kali struck at me ,near dead my head did fall of , my life shattered by trauma , only prabhupadas mercy helped me, for myself i have been worthless and driven by so many demons, child terror being the worst demon of all , oh krishna hold my soul away from such blows and when im able as you desire fuse my soul to these bones help me stand up help me mend this beast this child healed to soul , no more fear is my desire ,my mind is clear , but a trace tremor of terror still rushes through i pray that krishna will absorb this terror away , and to wake one morning ready and new and prabhupada to serve , and be a servant to all , a friend to all , so much has been learnt now we must put this great talent to work on our selves and prabhupadas movement will rise as ajuna would free from illusion as many die and fall you me all perish from here before you do speak your truth as you heaal jai rahda

im soory my education is poor , i try to write clear but grammar fails me , im sure i never learnt , one sentence , ecstatic arousal eterrnal presence non comprehension no doubt , vaisnava ajuna prahlad prabhupada and one day one of us vaisnava full to , whicth one,know thats krishna plan to unfold prabhupada knew and is always instructing us from within as this plan unfolds ,soon we will all know , as krihna shows to all

cheated or tricked , we are all vessels , take the brain , and then all your nerves , and then all your cappilaries , a trillion tings a second , that is a great trick , and then this gentle pull of gravity that keeps you pinned here surounded by magnectic field as we percieve , trick off soul on jiva, mind body and spirit cheating soul, as they three fight confused ,to be the boss, no soul is boss , spirit mind body refuse to accept , and are therefore cheated or tricked , krishna is the greatest rascal when it comes to such pranks , so isckon thirty years off learning , good all going to plan , remember its a hospital , now ????????????????? are you getting sicker or better or sicker before you get better , right now for me i feel very weak and tired , as i go deep inside , my childhood was full of terror , the closer i get to the sweet mellows that make me want to faint , i feel also the childs fear , this internal exsternal expirience rushing through , terror , my greatest terror now is to fail to feel these mellows full as death stands by as a frightened child crushed by life , in the madhahurya rasa ,my child slowly learns to play again , the fear slowly leaves , not afraid of life , but the opposite raging to life with joy my lessons learned ,now i enquire , off this moment only, with all that i am , with one question waiting for prabhupada to give the answer yes it is time to show what we have learned and now share this knowledge with the world all as one you one me one us all as one and different at the same , the truth is always known , but not always performed , perform always for krishna truth is your home ,and in the end you can not but speak the truth , your tunge like a sword cutting the curtain of illusion as you protect with hari katar in the present not just out of a book very personel confidential , as a mother to a child , we do not have to speculate , but only enquire of each other needs , and serve and share and serve all that we are to each other as prabhupada would be pleased jai rahda

the mind ultimatly is only a mirror , reflective , the moon is rahda , ever reflecting krishnas efulgence , the fragmented mirror of maya only steals light by refracting , this multiple is quantum , once it enters your neurology a billion neurons burn , this rlocaoster of nature nuture is abuot held states , the mantra weaves between these states , until your mind is fixed , as a neophyte you do this any way you can , practice practice , until your mind is clear , prabhupadas hospital , serve eveything as krishna no separation in your mind , slowly the mind becomes strong again ,until it is restored to its original job as servant , when your mind serves there is no conflict, the mind begins to enjoy as it perceives krishna in all things , the mind leaps to engage in bahkti ,knowing the truth , not chasing after thought and feeling ,but allowing the mind to rest ,as it observes as wacther , the mind only a tool, remembering it has no light of its own , is very difficult for the mind to except , but we are so fortunate , because of prabhupada , this pure science of soul is available to us , practice do ,do practice, practice done shows , as love intelegence commpassion steady undisturbed allways engaged loving friend to all, your mind a friend to all, your heart overflows,your dody does , as bahkti flows and shows mind lets go , and intelegence holds the mind ever smiling , at bahktis goal, for krishna to know and hold as prabhupada told jai rahda

a bahktis dicipline is to always remember krishna , this is his meditation , a vaishnava is ever engaged present with his service at all times , bahkti is the hihgest meditation because it is non stop , when these mellows are reached agitation leaves your life your mind free to use and choose , the bahkti ever watfull for krishna has krishna in his mind , but still time is lost , absorbed by other matters , those who have control of there minds can remember the thought paths away from krishna and can quickly return as they remember the mellows of krishna , this force of bahkti meditation is so powerfull that your love for krishna starts to burst out of you as action intelegence compassion , chaitanyas dream made manifest , to chant the the mantra with sincerity once is to be on your way home ,to meditate krishna to be before your very own eyes rahda appears as prabhupada cries jai bahkti jai rahda

you are all so fortunate clearly spoken truth without judgment produces clarity of adulthood while still a child , now you must steal these last momements of childhood and take control of the movments heart flushing your purity through every aspect of prabhupadas instruction and set chaitanyas mesage free as you were born to do destiny call show us all the way perform dance sing heal paint all for krishna have a riot of beauty before you mature growing from within , to compete to please krishna with enjoyment as madhahurya rasa personel to you idividual eternal jiva atma paramatma in your original state full spirit form , you must now scream to reveal your love krishna chaitanya prabhupada guide you as rahda holds you as your favourite diety personality gently speaks to you we must we will triumph in prabhupadas name jai rahda

i no longer have touuch , the picture was of two saints , dusty old poster , inside its new frame , it looked as if from the past , with a beutifull message of truth , for now, rasa is held in your being as an ache of old . for a bhakti this is forever pleasing krishna , by pleasing all , like you can not help your self but be kind , pleasure shows as love grows , love for krishna overflows to all as prabhupada told, it can not lie and in the end can not hide, krishna is within, and will one day show to us all, as we now gather in our gifts for prabhupadas feet to give blessing jai rahda

you keep poping up i just looked at your link when i came into knowledge of nityananda it was some pictures at a small gaudiya math temple in a london street , it is still there i believe , and was in london long before isckon, bahkti in london,my affection for this picture was so great that ramjee a bengali pujari , engaged me in service with avatar saint or more , till this day i am still unfamilar with the true vedic meaning of these characters , but the time warp of emotion and spacial time bring me to your feet, pray tell me , simple , the meaning and the mood it stirs in you , the london pictures gleamed with pleasure for me as this mood ever gatheres in , the children are innoncent and were born under prabhupadas wing you have come to save us all your moods grow as the years slowly pass grab your innoncence now and dedicate it to prabhupada you will save your selves much heart ache before natures springs make your natures as prahlad just child with full knowledfe free , this lock and key is in your hearts as we guide you ever so softly to turn your hearts over to the avatars you are we all have a favorite and then others to help as for me , i give my anger to shiva to suck the poison from me , i put the child to sleep in rahda arms , as the sorrow i give to queen kunti , as i pray to chaitanya for mercy , i throw myself at the feet of prabhupada begging for instruction to hear , and then nityananda smiles at me ,as service always pleases most well as child to be as man does grow for this child to please krishna appears opon prabhupadas lap as you sit very still prabhupada speaks to you as krishna smiles in you nityananda appears to tell you it is time you will know what to do it will unfold in front of you as you capture your innoncence and give it up to prabhupada you will know until free child state gone adult apear as mother perform surgery on us all mothers love is ultimatly felt in human form as nature from a loving parent often stern but ultimatly always loving , in vedic rahda love for krishna as she appears from krishna belly button , not unlike you in this physical form while you were still atachedat some point you breathed and the connection is cut if soothed imeadiatly the body obsorbs comfort until calm you children have been listening to prabhupada before you were born , you are the most fortunate and you are still child , we were mostly spoiled , we came to prabhupada late on this path , usaully full of strife , and now some have advanced , you children still ahead until you change , krishna is at the mercy of his devotee , as i we are now at the point of mercy as we wait for you , yes you the children because you are non different to krishna , the representation of krishna on this planet naughty but nice as all children that have been loved , you lot got rahda love from prabhupada , as we dreamed imagined and worked to give you children the best we could , prabhupada hospital is so hard to leave this mercy is my leave you children must come togeather and leaver me over this edge so that i can be as the you babes must hari katar oh so personel speak as to hear lovers whisper in the dark , oh krishna oh rahda , when you hear this call as if it were your own mother enquire of your real mother or loved one as to there mood as you describe your love for her him and then think of rahda and krishna non different as you talk hari katar straight from the heart mind begins to listen eyes always show mood , mood roles mind follows mood shows as revealed love all that flows for krishna shown the rest let go , we learn from each other as we follow our moods , fix your mood on krishna to see at prabhupadas feet to serve us all the cream

the bakti urg first opon a throne shiva for all of his mystical powers whee we drink milk until cured of our poison as victims we appear we suffer great blows until strong again chaitanya realm prabhupada at the healm pleasing as a reflection of krishnas rahda and all the vaisnvas everything born of seed rejoices all at once as prabhupada wakes us in our dreams and instruction give as we wish urg to krishna kiss as rahda appears kiss the ground as you look up something will appear remember think feel cognate body state urg to surg wait foor bahkti never stops the minds gate to mediatate released playing with snakes he always beats whilst the boy the man stand under the ever watchfull mind of pralad as he negotiates your release with shiva , shiva says drink as we speak , when his rage hate anger lies illusions break at that moment krishna comes to save his devotee we are saved because of prabhupada all souls are tortured in separation from krishna bodies are tortred if not soothed mind and emotion to this primal urg inoncent fuses in pralad speaks and says now do not be neophyte be mature and forget you saw me appear until you see me opon your head if im sat in fire shiva is very cross with you if im sat on a mat i keep flying from you if im sat on a lotus flower shiva is happy with you the primal urg is the voice you wish to heaar here now as you die as wish only to hear here emotion trace krishna place listen to pralad at prabhupadas door please give them rope ill take the choke and give it at shiva door pralada only burps for he is only a child and knashigerdave holds his fear this acending crown of thorns burn through your brain hence milk mercy as you burn at shivas door still mmore poison to drink where you offer up your sins and burn as one krishnas or one of maya the primal spring begins to burn with desire when mercy jumps at you let go as you look at the primal gate close as petals fold petals apear opon youre head and your favourite avatar speaks loud and clear as pralad confirms in your mind you go home the avatar is your angel home they forfill prabhupadas wish to well wish us all

cognant krishna one day while sitting relaxed , play a drama with your self, imagine all the emotions you have felt good and bad nul voidless time deep in your soul a voice gently spoke hari hari what who are they this first taste already to late prabhupadas touch your in the hospital now take the remedy and give up all your fears love krishna until he appears this is rahda wish that all else will cease as krishna she grabs this is the mood of the devotee as he becomes friends with all as he is now forever a contradiction living in these material forms while electricty runs through when you see krishna rejister the the body your in and remember eyes relax and see eyes looking back at you when krishna springs ears ring if calm peacfull and given fully over to only pecieving instruction will come ultimate apreciation for prabhupada as we are who ever instructs from the heart all clean forget what the mind has seen let go of all old emotion inoncent you as pralad or shiva or inbetween or a kumari in been life forms change as minds cognate prabhupada great

me more prahu jeejee bhakti and the primal spring krishnas lake where all is one , seed flowing through your brain woke up by excitement and nervers anxiuos and then scared but nice mind relax where ,here in this body as you forget again again again so on until one day you gain in a strange way istead of only going out some energy staid in your cognant brain afirming atachment usually for this world , the bhakti spring is at prabhupadas feet as you come you are sprung as you are the noose already around our necks before we were born so in this life to be sucessfull and reach prabhupadas holy feet oh mercyfull lord and give up souls for prabhupada to please this is death to all other desire as one desire burns through first thoughts then emotion and then body release until body mind and emotion fix 1 2 3 one blink one blink one blink all rejesting the same thing where is the spring got him jump mind to late emotional gate mind rush to find ecstatic mind rush elate as you cognate prabhupada great now what can i do for you spring at prabhupada jai rahda

i have been ratteling else where , my inception here , was terror , as i suffered at the hands of others while helpless,as a child , as a man i have felt hopless and wild , as this storm rushed back out , thank god for prabhupada jai , the storm is not over yet but i have felt it all , while practically insane , my mind was spun so far , that a up to date descrition would psychotic schizophrenic with multiple emotional personality disorder, very savere continual traumatic flash to the brain resulting in terror afirming thoughts or images rushing through until the body goes into spasm and freezes with fright as if to die at which point the brain serves only motor neuron fuction to keep you alive as you your cognitive mind only whispers if it can an afirmation as to accurance just , while it believes it is going to die as it fades away unconciuos or drugged or both, the level of harm pain and violence regiter deep in the brain ,first and then associated words and then imeadiate terror, and the repetetive fuction result in breakdown dis function , this is where prabhupada jumps in , a different echo , and inside my illness prabhupada went to work , contradiction whats he want from a deseased such as me , and what do i want from him , what i wanted was to get out of this hell and go and enjoy in some other helll, where they know they are demons , not liars and speculaters here, withon the slits in my mind , i said go son check him out , because you are already dead , and you know killed as a child 3 times when i was 11 years old , first one violence second time pain third time body rupture all rsulting from the same act , and then i became the headless monster until i hered prabhupada , your mine ,my mind heared , my heart followed , my body burns and hurts as the nerves in my body release this terrible fear back up to krishna back out of my skin my body fixed my brain at rest with only an excitement spring yes prabhupada is my king brain fixed this little child in me to sleep in rahdas arms as the man stands and fights as one of prabhupadas cult, soory i deviate ,

thank you for your help , but please comment on the content ,i come to these forums to see how personel the laguage is , krishna is 100% personel , so is prabhupada , still here giving us instruction in the moment , right now , the more personel we become , the clearer the vision , we must all come togeather as a family , and protect the children and women , and protect the devotee with trancendental knowledge , prepared to show love to all creation without separation , oneness and differance same time , love makes one diferent the same as krihna resides in all , serve the servant and be ever busy pleasing prabhupada your servant seamus j carroll

i owe my life to prabhupada ,but my frustration is growing , if prabhupada stood in front of you now in what way would he chastise you , im sure he would be very savere with us all , except the children women, but to us men with our lies he would cut us all down with sublime simple truth , and then he would say , what are you waiting for , i already gave you all instruction , in my books , and still you wait , we speculate and sift through his words like grains of salt only looking for tears , mellow to form , how sweet this nectar is , oh my lord , but right now we need the warriors not the fools , every devotee that can think and do , must now abandone every other goal , release this love that prabhupada has shown you so the whole can know, do your duty , and serve as arjuna , krihna will come when prabhupada is pleased

the truth is very common ,would you like to be happy , yes , how , love krishna , so much blah blah , at some point we finish talking and start building , practical , bahkti can not hide , because pleasure always shows ,it is time for us all to get on with the job, we only live in the moment , and what you place there you get , surrender your minds to percieving krishna everywher all the time , and if you can stand as ajuna if you cant do as ajuna still be brave and do your duty as best you can , some one must know something by now about bahkti some may have developed qualities or even skills where are they are you 1 do you know 1 , i would love to be a fly on the wall , and listen to devotees speak the truth , sins to hope , fear to love , prabhupada said do the work and success is garanteed, who is doing the work , and has any one had any sucess , love prabhupada be a friend to all , teach what you know , and reveal what you learn , as everything teaches you , no high no low , who is hiding from who , when krishna knows all

hearts to pore when you feel it you know it , what would happen if you just had nervouse breakdown would things fix or break and how long can you go on as you are , and what remedy are you using and what is it you wish to feel and see for real now krishna will come and cry with you and rahda will hold both of you until soothed give up your sorrows and take up they mat for deity call as duty do prabhupada please be a friend to all body and soul or you cook your brain and get fried we are all hellpless with out mercy and when we know this we take shelter what better than bhagavatam these testing moments are called the dark night of the soul as you roam headless in hell we all wake up in hell when krishna through the mercy of a pure devotee puts your head back on after an iternity of forgetfullness a curtain if the soul were to see everything it would faint and fly from body to body trying to escape the blow of nature and fact this time hard luck because you know mrs prabhupada he stops you in your tracks and says love what you got give your best and then surrender the result all of it good bad joke on your own headand now smile at syamsunder waiting to play with you after you wake as you are learn so you can help others after you learn krishna will guide you as prabhupada will speak in your dream if you wish , for many years i could not sleep for deep childhood fear only prabhupada could save my life and i had the good fortune to hear his message and slowly my life is healing before i get to old and bald i am 47 now and mostly bald but very bold , if you are going to crumble then just get over it after or stand up and beg prabhupada to help you al the way to chaitanya you beg everyone to lift your soul you release your sorrows with a cofidential god brother or more openly like here so you hope your call will be heared , do not be disturbed , calm your soul mind body, very calm slowly still , feel rahda arms around you as you suffer here until you are calm as soul rest your mind feel your bones look and let go rest your body and mind feed your body prasad feed your mind hari katar feel rahda hand on your heart and breath her love until you are completly cool mind body and soul the poison colled same as shiva , then speak your truths as shiva would give up your sins slowly and then fast and then slowly again and so on the viel will lift as sure as sunrise opon your soul jai prabhupada jai rahda