Marriage Compability.........

sheila · 06-08-2008, 03:58 AM

Dear....
I want to know my marriage compability. This is our details

Name: Premeela
D.O.B: 27.02.1986
Time : 10.06pm

Name: Vijeykumar
D.O.B: 17.02.1986
Time : 4.36pm

sansan · 06-16-2008, 09:50 AM

I have been recently going through a bad phase in my life.. I am married for last 1 year and 1 month. My wife was introduced to our family in one of our community marriage sammelan. My wife had falsely mentioned that she is a graduate (BA) in the form though she has just managed to appear for her first year in BA. All these months I have been asking her for her degree certificate and she made excused saying that it is at her friends place. Now after a year she has finaly informed about her not comleting graduation and have only appeared for 1st year.

I am a professional with a post graduate in a respected job and I would have married a non graduate girl in the first place.

Now when we asked for apology from her and her parents thay are trying to show that we never asked for her graduation. ALso now that we have informed some respected members of the community about this they are trying to create stupid stories about I and my parents harrasing an torturing her and telling everyone.

She has always been very obsessive about me, have always cribbing about small things, have never given any respect to my parents and many times tried to emotional black mail me my cutting her wrist or trying to leave the house in the midlle of night over trivial issues.
Even now they are in no mood to repent and last time we tried to mediate her father got very violent and threatened me of dire consequences. Right now she is at her parents place. Even after I getting to know about her lying about the graduation I had maintained decent relation with her and she was staying with me .. After that she had gone there to stay at her parents place for 4 days and now its almost a month that she is not back..not that we didnt call her back.
But now i am in 2 minds weather to get her back and try to change her mentality but on the other side I find this as a risk as once we get her back she can make any false allegations.

Please guide me..I am not sure what to do about all this..

We both have same nadi though blood groups are different.. is there any issue with that..

The following are my and my wifes birth details.

Myself:
1st Oct 1979
Birth Place : Pune
Rime: 9:55 A.M.

Spouse:
23rd Nov 1985
Place: Pune
Time: 13: 18 p.m.

Timetown · 06-26-2008, 11:38 AM

I would say do not much consider here a compatibility of nadi, blood groups, or charts. You are dealing rather with issues of insecurity, pride, and the accompanying deceptions. She and her family felt insecure and inadequate to lie about the degree. I'm sure you understand those feelings, but certainly you are concerned that such lies inevitably mean more lies follow perhaps.
It seems from your indications that she is a bit eratic in emotion and her response to those emotions.
Though, as you ask, can you change her mentality? That is never the right question really. Can you be patient and encouraging while she either changes her own mentality, or while you wait for her to continue with the same mentality and someday, maybe change. You are married though, this is no light matter... however, if she is abandoning you often, perhaps you should see that you are not necessarily obligated to go running after her again and again, nor forever bear the emotional distress involved with constant abandonment. Work on maintaining your peace, in regards to your mind and condition, and understand that when your heart has had enough, the outcome will be understood.
Also... remember that even though your parents and her parents seem quite involved in this marriage.. you are a man and she a woman, this marriage is first about the two of you... and that means that if only you are concerned, or if a bunch of family is involved with gossip feuds then there is much misery ahead.
how better to deal with shame than to no longer register the feeling of shame? If this were the case, then no lie in the beginning, no refute to the lie, no escalation of large family woes, and no embarassment and distress now.
take care okay