Srila Prabhupada’s Disappearance day-26-10-2006 Fasting till Noon(some minute details of the last days by HG Anantacarya Das)

10-26-2006, 01:02 AM

Srila Prabhupada’s Disappearance day-26-10-2006 Fasting till Noon(some minute
details of the last days by HG Anantacarya Das) 12 November
l977
[From the diary of Anantacarya Das]

During the night, at about 1:00 A. M., I re-enter the room. Srila Prabhupada is
resting. Swarup Damodara, one of His personal servants, is tending closely to
Srila Prabhupada. Shortly after I arrive, Swarup Damodara is relieved by
Bavananda Maharaj who helps Srila Prabhupada turn over in bed. Bavananda begins
massaging Srila Prabhupada, and while Srila Prabhupada rests, the room is
completely silent. We chant Japa under our breaths. When Bavananda comes close
to help, Srila Prabhupada asks, "Who is it?" Later on I find out that some of
Srila Prabhupada's associates have talked him out of going on the parikram, and
He has agreed that we will go instead. The night is chilly. Today is Govardhan
Puja, and later on in the morning the Temple will be decorated.

Kaviraj (Shastri-ji, the doctor) comes in at 8:00 A.M. He takes Srila
Prabhupada's pulse and states that the pulse is perfectly normal again.

Kaviraj says that he has seen many, many patients, but never one with a body
like Srila Prabhupada's. One day everything will seem to be in disorder, but
the next day everything will be perfect again. Today there is no more high
blood pressure either. Kaviraj says that he will have to go to Jaipur to get
the ingredients for a special medicine. He is sure that if Srila Prabhupada
will continue to take milk, take the medicine (when it becomes available), and
(one other thing I couldn't hear), then Srila Prabhupada will be well.

Kirtan starts quietly, and most of us leave the room with Shastri-ji.

At about 3:50 P.M. I re-enter the room. There are about 10 devotees singing a
nice kirtan for Srila Prabhupada. Shortly thereafter, another devotee and I are
given a chance to lead the kirtan. He is playing the harmonium, and I accompany
him with a pair of karatals. We sing continuously until 7:00 P.M. During this
time Srila Prabhupada asks to be seated up in bed!!! He not only sits up in
bed, but also accepts a portion of choody noodles! He chews just a little bit
of it, and, after he is done, Upendra carefully distributes to us that which is
left on the plate. Needless to say, the devotees in the room waste no time in
honoring the Maha Prasad that has come right off the plate of the pure devotee!
Srila Prabhupada is always giving to us, no matter what his apparent condition.

Sunday, 13 November, 1977.

Upon entering the room at 1:00 A.M., I prostrate myself near the bed, and offer
obeisances to our Spiritual Master. The room is completely silent except for
two sounds: the very faint sound of Srila Prabhupada's breath as he sleeps, and
the slight rustle of Bavananda's beads as he chants silently. There are four of
us in the room: Srila Prabhupad, Bavananda Maharaj, Giriraj, and myself. I take
the opportunity to chant silently.

Srila Prabhupada sleeps well for awhile, but then he awakens. He begins to have
more trouble with his body. Bavananda does everything that he
can----rearranging pillows, massaging, moving Srila Prabhupada, changing the
blankets, but no matter what, Srila Prabhupada is still not doing well at all.
Bavananda gives the order the go wake up Upendra. Upendra is here in no time
and takes care of things nicely enough that Srila Prabhupada calms down and
goes back to sleep. He sleeps well from 2:00 to 3:00 A.M. Then he wakes up
again. For awhile he is cold, but then the quilt which is put on is too heavy,
and He asks that it be removed. He even pushes strongly against it. His left
leg is in pain, and he asks to be helped to pass urine. Things go from bad to
worse. He insists that all covers stay off.

We get Upendra up again, but then, in addition, we have to rush for Shastri-ji
and get him up too. There are more devotees in the room now too, since many are
now getting up early in order to chant some rounds before mongala aroti. In the
middle of all this action, Srila Prabhupada erupts with a very loud and
distinct "Hare Krishna". At that, Bavananda starts too chant out loud, but due
to the attention that he is giving Srila Prabhupada, he stops chanting a few
minutes later in order to concentrate on what he is doing for Srila Prabhupada.
At that, Srila Prabhupada again erupts with "Hare Krishna!" and Bavananda
chants even louder. Five minutes later, another "Hare Krishna!" from Srila
Prabhupada, and at that point Upendra turns around to us and says, "You may all
chant japa out loud". Kaviraj takes the pulse, looks over Srila Prabhupada, and
then leaves. Srila Prabhupada becomes a little quieter. I leave at 4:15 A.M.

At 6:45 A.M. I re-enter the room. About 20 devotees are being led in a nice
kirtan by Satswarup Maharaj. Srila Prabhupada is now worse. Now he has a cold,
too. Now a cold on top of everything else. Srila Prabhupada's sister arrives,
dressed all in white, and goes to the head of the bed to see her brother. She
reaches out her hand to give him a long, consoling touch.

She then proceeds to the foot of the bed, reaches under the covers, and touches
his feet before she leaves. At about 8:30 A.M. I leave the room.

At about 9:00 P.M. I re-enter Srila Prabhupada's room. There are about 15 to 20
devotees gathered around the bed including Kaviraj and another elderly
gentleman friend of Srila Prabhupada. Srila Prabhupada is being massaged on one
leg with looks like an oil of some kind, and a compress is being applied to the
other leg. He doesn't seem to be doing well at all. Many devotees are staying
and not leaving to take rest. At about 10:30 P.M. He begins to sleep very well.
He is on his left side and sleeping silently. By 11:00 P.M. there are only four
disciples left in the room: Swarup Damodara, Jagadisha Prabhu, a bramacari(who
is reading under a lamp in the corner), and myself. Swarup Damodara is sitting
quietly in the corner keeping an eye on Gurudev; Jagadish is seated quietly
against the wall; the bramacari is reading; I am chanting Hare Krishna. At this
point, the only sound in the room is Anantacarya whispering the Hare Krishna
Mantra.

The night is getting cold outside, and Swarup Damodara wants to stop a cold
draft which is coming in on Srila Prabhupada by way of a French window near the
bed; but it won't close. So I go outside and push while Swarup Damodara pushes
from the inside. Somehow or other we manage to get it closed without waking up
Gurudev.

Later on, at 11:40 P.M., Srila Prabhupada awakes and asks to be rolled from his
left side onto his back. Swarup Damodara helps him roll over to His back, then
gives Him his medicine, and then fixes him up with the urinal. While He is
being moved to his back, Srila Prabhupada's feet become uncovered, so I go over
and tuck in Gurudev's lotus feet under the blankets.

Monday, 14 November, l977.

It is now 12:15 A.M. Gurudev is still sleeping soundly. Bavananda shows up
promply at 1:00 A.M., and he takes up his vigil in the chair by the foot of the
bed. At this point I take the opportunity to also go over close to the bed so
that I can be closer to Srila Prabhupada while I chant the Maha Mantra very
softly. For the next hour and a half I stand right there, next to Gurudev,
looking at his lovely head and face. He is resting so nicely, and for that hour
and a half, I can't see anything else. I stand in one spot and meditate upon
his lotus face and head. Bavananda gets up and goes over to sit by the far wall
with some other devotees who have now begun to arrive in the early morning
hours. (It is now about 2:00 A.M.) So somehow or other I am alone at the bed
with Gurudev as I chant softly for Him.

Little do we suspect that this will be the last night that we will be able to
be with our spiritual master by his bedside.

It is now about 2:30 A.M. and, insofar as there are more devotees in the room
to keep Srila Prabhupad company, I depart from the room.

All Glories to our inconceivably merciful and infinitely wonderful Spiritual
Master!

At about 10:15 in the morning, I am passing by the windows of Srila
Prabhupada's room and hear a loud kirtan going on in the room. Due to the
strength of the kirtan I find myself thinking that now Srila Prabhupada is
feeling better, but shortly later one of the devotees tells me that his
condition is as critical as ever. Again at about 12:00 noon I pass the windows
and the kirtan is still good and strong. Prasadam today is at 1:15 P.M., and as
we are taking prasadam, a server walks into the center of the prasadam room and
says, "I don't know how many of you have already heard about it, but Kaviraj
has said that Srila Prabhupada has only five more hours in his body". At that
announcement I begin to gulp down the remaining prasadam on my plate and then
double time to Srila Prabhupa's room. I am afraid that the room will be so
packed that I will be too late to get inside, but upon arriving, the room is
about 1/3 filled with 25 to 30 devotees who are gathered close to the bed,
chanting strongly. Our Spiritual Master is in what looks like a coma: He is
not moving: His facial _expression is like that of a trance. He is lying on his
back with his head tilted back and to the side. His lips are parted, but there
is no movement, and his eyelids are closed down tightly. Gurudev's bed is a
nice large bed.

It is sizeable enough that, even though Gurudev is lying in the middle of it,
there is plenty of room for several devotees to sit on the bed along side of
Him. Upendra, Bavananda Maharaj, and other close disciples of Srila Prabhupada
are seated on the bed. Caru das, the president of the Berkeley Temple, is
seated on the floor at the foot of the bed, massaging Srila Prabhupada gently.
Tears are coming down his face as he gently strokes the legs and feet of his
Spiritual Master. Other devotees are crowding around all sides of the bed,
getting as close as they can, and singing kirtan continuously. All Srila
Prabhupada's personal servant's are in attendance and they have worried looks
on their faces(Bhakta Caru Maharaj, Upendra das, Bavananda Maharaj, Swarup
Damodara das). The room is starting to fill up fast as the word gets around the
Mandir about what Kaviraj has said. Everybody is now pouring into the room to
chant for Srila Prabhupada-- -brahmacaris, matajis, children from
the Gurukula, Sannyasis, visitors,--- everybody. Hamsadutta Maharaj sits on a
corner of the bed down by Srila Prabhupada's feet, and takes over the kirtan.
He leads the kirtan nicely and keeps up chanting the right prayers(Pancha
Tattva Maha Mantra, Hare Krishna, Samsara Dava). He asks for a prayer book and
then leads us in the complete set of Govindam Prayers. We don't know all the
words, of course, but he is singing them, and then we all join in for the
refrain(Govindam Adi Purusam, Tam aham bajami---).

The room is now getting stuffy because so many devotees are packed in. We open
all the doors and windows and turn on the fans. More people from outside the
Mandir are now showing up. Srila Prabhupada's sister is already here, seated on
the floor next to the bed. For the many hours to follow, she almost constantly
remains close to him. No matter what happens next, she will do her best to
hobble along to be with Srila Prabhupada. Some of Srila Prabhupada's elderly
vaishnava friends are arriving and a bench is brought in for them to sit on.
The room is jammed. Kirtan goes on without ceasing as Hamsadutta leads us
through the afternoon hours. The afternoon is filled with devotees coming and
going and chanting. Some of the elderly Vaishnava gentlemen later on decide to
leave, but the real frail short one stays on, sitting politely on the bench and
quietly chanting japa. A real Vaishnava gentleman, chanting Hare Krishna
continuously. Will I ever, in this lifetime, be able to
appreciate what a merciful privilege it is---to be allowed to associate with
the wonderful Vaishnavas in this room?

At 5:00 P.M. Kaviraj arrives and proceeds to the bed. The devotees crowd close.
In no time he has searched for Srila Prabhupada's pulse, but then reaches for
his stesthoscope. He moves it around from point to point on Srila Prabhupada's
chest and midsection, and then says something to Bhakta Cara Maharaj with a
worried look. Only a handful of devotees could actually hear what Kaviraj said,
but somehow or other the word is passed around--only 3 more hours, that's all.
Kaviraj asks that some of Srila Prabhupada's books be placed nicely around his
head on the pillows and some pictures of the Dieties also be placed on the
pillows at the head of the bed. The books are placed nicely, and the diety
pictures are now leaning against the pillows and bedstead. There are also japa
beads lying near his head. So his lovely head and face are framed with some of
his favorite transcendental paraphernalia. It is so beautiful to see the head
of Gurudev surrounded that way.

By now it has sunk into us what is happening, and Pradyumna and others have
begun preparations for the Samadhi. There is talk of palanquin, fresh saffron
cloth, garlands, etc. Hamsadutta looks very worried but keeps right on going
with dedication and devotion. Srila Prabhupada is now occasionally swallowing
with his mouth closed. His breathing is noticeable by the slight rise and fall
of the sheet which covers his frail body. He is given some kind of liquid by
Bhakta Caru, but I am too far away to see exactly what it is. From 5:00 to 6:00
P.M. I am appointed guard duty and sit in the vestibule. People from the town
are arriving, and I can't tell who to let in and who to keep out. Everyone is
extremely determined to see Srila Prabhupada and beg to please be let into the
room for one last Darshan with him. At 6:00 P.M. I leave guard duty and
re-enter the room. Now even the Matajis are crowding right up to the bed in
order to be as close as possible to Srila Prabhupad. ISKCON
photographers are carefully taking photographs and motion picture films. As
before, may of us are crying. As for Bavananda, his eyes are continuously
filled with moisture. Upendra too. We are all pressing toward the bed to see
Gurudev. Now he is motionless again.

Kaviraj walks in at about 7:50 and goes to the bed. He bends over for the pulse
and we all push forward even more. I cannot see what is going on, so I stand on
a chair in the back of the room, but still I cannot see Srila Prabhupad. But I
can see Kaviraj, and instantly upon checking for the pulse he says something
swiftly like "finished" or something to that effect.

He (or Tamal?) immediately gives the order for loud, loud chanting of the of
the Hare Krishna Maha Mantra. We all erupt with the Hare Krishna Mantra with an
almost hopeless frenzy. Now it really begins to sink into us what has happened.
Kaviraj has said that it's all over. Many of us start sobbing. There are
devotees frantically chanting, crying, sobbing, breaking down completely. One
boy goes into a crying convulsion and has to be dragged to a corner where he
collapses in convulsive sobbing. Devotees are crying, sobbing, chanting, and
running in every direction. Tamal orders us to leave the room. I go upstairs to
cry alone. The night is filled with close and distant sobbing, women wailing,
bells ringing, and even the dogs are barking and howling.

I go back downstairs about 3/4 of an hour later. No more matajis, children, or
visitors are present. The devotees in the room are now the saffron clothed
ones. Mostly leaders in the Hare Krishna movement. Kirtan is continuing nicely.
Srila Prabhupada has already been clothed nicely in saffron, garlands of
flowers are placed on him, and a lovely bouquet of Tulasi manjaris is laid
across his chest. There is sandlewood pulp covering his forehead and a large
tulasi leaf fixed in the middle of his forehead.

His skin has now turned pale, but one look at that powerful face and you know
that whatever are the conditions, He is still the boss, still the Spiritual
Master. Saffron material is now covering his form, and a saffron colored
"swami" hat is covering his head. We bring in the palanquin, and he is picked
up from the bed by four or five devotees and placed securely in the seat of the
palanquin. Other Vrndaban Vaishnavas now come back in, led by Narayana
Maharaja. They pay their heartfelt obeisances, and place flower garlands around
their beloved friend. They are clearly much affected by the departure of
Gurudev, and offer their most reverent obeisances to him. At this point I am
crying almost all the time.

Tamal Krishna states the plan for the next couple of hours: "The palanquin will
now leave for the Temple Room where Gurudev will see the Dieties and an Arotik.
Then a Gurupuja, an offering of flowers by devotees, and then chanting until
the samadhi is ready". The palanquin containing Srila Prabhupada is lifted, and
with strong chanting is carried out of the room. Srila Prabhupada in his
palanquin is then taken around the around the outside of the Krishna-Balaram
Temple 3 times. Three times around the circumference of the Temple Building
with the devotees following and chanting. It is a joyous, happy kirtan. Round
and round the Temple with Srila Prabhupada, and then he enters the temple as
our transcendental leader to see the dieties. First the palanquin is placed in
front of Gour-Nitai with the devotees singing joyously for their Gurudev. On to
Krishna-Balaram: and then to Radha-Krishna. The kirtan is strong and jubilant.
Then the palanquin is lifted and Srila Prabhupada is
taken around the inside of the Temple, then outside, and then re-enters again
and is placed before the Krishna-Balaram Dieties for continued jubilant kirtan
and dancing. The devotees are singing and dancing and circumnambulating the
palanquin. The devotees circle close to the palanquin and drink in the nectar
of close darshan with Srila Prabhupada. We go around many times, circling
closely. Now the palanquin is lifted and proceeds to the Vyasasan where both
palanquin and Gurudev are placed right on and in the Vyasasan.

He is in his palanquin which is on the blue velvet asana, with lion figures on
both sides.

Gurupuja begins. Omkara dasa does the arotik while Hamsadutta leads us in a
rip-roaring kirtan. Really rip-roaring. After the Gurupuja, we prepare for the
offering of flowers (marigolds) to Srila Prabhupada. The first devotees to
offer flowers and obeisances to Srila Prabhupada are: His sister; His Vrndaban
friends; Tama Krishna Maharaj; then Upendra; Pradyumna, the ISKCON swamis and
Temple Presidents. Some of the Gaudiya Math (?) offer garlands of flowers and
decorative spiritual paraphernalia.

We offer the marigolds by circling motions and then shower them on Srila
Prabhupada. Then each devotee (after offering his flowers) prostrates himself
before the Vyasasan. While this is going on, Narayana Maharaj leads us in a
very, very nice kirtan. He is leading us so very, very nicely, and from his
leading chant, one can appreciate how much he is devoted to Srila Prabhupada.
After the men have offered flowers and obeisances, then the matajis offer. At
the end, Tamal announces that the townspeople of Vrndaban have requested to
please let them have darshan once more with Srila Prabhupada, so now instead of
proceding directly to the samadhi, Srila Prabhupada will wait in the Vyasasana
during the night and then proceed to the seven temples of Vrndaban in the
morning. After the parikram of Vrndabn in the morning, He will return for
samadhi. We are ordered by Tamal to stay up all night with Gurudev for
continuous kirtan. Srila Prabhupada is now being fanned by camara while the
kirtan goes on.

IT IS NOW 12:30 A.M., 15 NOVEMBER 1977.

The kirtan goes on, and the nightime is beginning to get very cold. By 1:30
A.M. the population in the temple room is beginning to thin out and there are
only a few of us who are actually doing kirtan. There are about 20 to 30
devotees in the temple room, but many are chanting japa. I am beginning to get
tired myself, so I quickly dash upstairs for a cold shower and then dash back
to the kirtan. At about 2:00 A.M. the air has become penetratingly cold. Four
or five of the younger "Indian" ISKCON devotees and myself are now clustered
together up close to the Vyasasan in order to keep the kirtan going strong.
Also up by the Vyasasan are two of the older dedicated "Indian" devotees who
refuse to leave Srila Prabhupada even though they can hardly stay awake, and no
matter how cold it gets. The little frail one sits motionless in front of the
Vyasasan with only a chowda wrapped around his shoulders. Pradyumna sits with
us and chants on his japa beads. He is looking quite worn
out, but stays with Srila Prabhupada. The "Indian" ISKCON devotees lead the
kirtan and keep it going nicely. Also, there are a few matajis in the rear of
the temple room, chanting japa.

Viraha Prakash Maharaj is now standing at attention by the side of the Vyasasan
steps. About 3:00 A.M. I am asked to fan Srila Prabhupada with one of the
Camaras. I step up next to the palanquin at Srila Prabhupada's right side and
relish every moment of being able to whisk Srila Prabhupada. I am talking to
him silently, and the tears won't stop rolling down my face. It is just dark
enough that the devotees (I hope) cannot see that I am crying.

Srila Prabhupada is so kind that even though he finally decides to leave us, he
still mercifully stays with us for an extra night so that we may have one last
chance to see His Divine Form, chant kirtan for him, and whisk him with the
Camara. By 4:30 many of the devotees are beginning to return to the temple
room. Srila Prabhupada's sister also returns at this time and politely sits on
the floor near the vyasasan. She obviously wants to sit even closer to Srila
Prabhupada (on the mats up front with us) but this carpet is filled with male
devotees, so she humbly sits down over to the side on the cold floor, next to
one of the pillars. At this point the women come forward and offer incense to
Srila Prabhupada. At 4:45 I volunteer to whisk Gurudev again, and take the left
side this time. How nice it is to be able to fan Him during his last hours with
us.

By 5:00 A.M. everyone is back. As mongol arotik starts a little later, many
devotees turn their backs to Srila Prabhupada in order to pay prostrated
obeisances to the Dieties. Narayana Maharaj and his associates remain
motionless and do not budge. In no time at all, Narayana Maharaj is laying it
on the line to Gopal Krishna Das---the devotees are to stay at the Vyasasan
facing Srila Prabhupada, and there is to be a simultaneous arotik for Srila
Prabhupada at the Vyasasan while the arotik also goes on for the Dieties. Gopal
Krishna quickly gets everything arranged nicely, and a nice arotik is held at
each of the three altars plus at the Vyasasan. Narayana Maharaj leads the
kirtan and winds up everything with repeated and resounding "Jaya Gurudevas",
one after another. Afterward, there also is an arotik for Tulasi Devi.

The Parikram begins at about 6:45 A.M., and the palanquin is lifted from the
Vyasasan and carried to the center of the courtyard of the templeroom where we
circumnambulate Srila Prabhupada with more chanting, of course. We then proceed
through the front gate of the Mandir, down the road to Vrndaban, and parikram
to each of the (7)? Temples of Vrndaban.

Narayana Maharaj is arranging everything nicely, leading the procession,
leading the kirtan, and seeing with great attention that everything goes along
perfectly for our Gurudev. Narayana Maharaj is now conducting the parikram,
acting on our behalf as our very capable leader, and seeing to it that
everything is conducted nicely for Srila Prabhupada. For the next 6 hours, he
is indefatigable, watching everything, and continuously providing the devoted
and competent leadership needed so that all the details of the parikram and
samadhi are executed perfectly.

It certainly is quite an impressive procession as it moves along down the road.
The procession actually consists of two parts. First, there is a large group of
devotees consisting of Narayana Maharaj and most of the Sannyasis (and others,
too). This group leads the procession and also leads the strong kirtan. Then
there is a gap of about 20 yards to the next group which consists of the
Palanquin with Srila Prabhupada, the palanquin bearers, close attendants,
devotees, and others. Immediately following this group are the matajis, and
then several rickshas carrying Srila Prabhupada's Sister and some of the
children from the Gurukul. There are eleven dandas gliding through the air.
When one looks toward the palanquin, he usually sees Citsukananda bearing the
load up front and Vishnu Tattva Das supporting the rear of the palanquin.
Although they are from time to time temporarily relieved, these two boys are
seen carrying the heavy palanquin for most of the procession. And it is
indeed heavy. Some boys who try to carry it cannot even get the carrying bar
up to their shoulder so that it can move, and, as a result, are not able to
share in this mercy. For the entire procession, Bavananda Maharaj is
inseparable from Srila Prabhupada's side.

Tamal Krishna is also there at the palanquin, taking part of this part of the
procession and giving the directions and leadership to the second group of
devotees. From time to time the going gets a little rough. At this, there is
anxiety written all over Upendra's face, because there isn't much that he can
do about it. Nevertheless, Srila Prabhupada and his devotees sail through the
streets of Vrndaban. The streets are lined with people shouting "Hari Bol!"
"Hare Krishna!" "Jai Gurudev!". Families are coming out on the rooftops to see
the procession, and the townsfolk of Vrndaban, young and old, are paying
standing obeisances to Srila Prabhupada. We stop in front of each of the
Temples and there are resounding "Jai Gurudev"s.

At one point on the road (not to far from the mandir) there is a young woman
standing at the side of the road watching the procession go by. After the last
devotee walks by, her eyes begin to get wide, and they light up with amazement
and veneration. She follows the procession down the road with her eyes, and
then turns and walks to the center of the road. She bends down, and with hands
outstretched, palms down, she rubs her hands in a circular motion in the dust.
Lifting her hands she then, again in a circular motion, smears the dust of the
lotus feet of the Vaishnavas all over her cheeks. At that point, with eyes
still as wide as large coins, she beams with a smile, and with that smile
radiates to us that she understands that it is not everyday at 7:30 in the
morning that a person gets a chance like this!!!!! A little farther down the
road, another young woman, dressed in the finest of exquisite garments, steps
from her house into the street ditch in order to see the
palanquin go by. When she recognizes who is in the palanquin, then, regardless
of the finery she is wearing, she immediately bends her knees into the gutter,
brings her head and arms to the ground, and pays obeisances to Srila
Prabhupada. How is it possible to keep from crying when one sees just how much
Srila Prabhupada is loved and revered by everybody.

We return to the Mandir, and the samadhi begins immediately. Srila Prabhupada
has a bathing ceremony, a change of garments, flower garlands, puja offering,
prasadam offering, and is finally covered with salt and then sand. It is a
lengthy and beautiful ceremony, and does not terminate until 1:00 P.M. in the
afternoon. The temple bell is ringing continuously, and the kirtan goes on
without interruption. At about 1:00 P.M. the samadhi ceremony ends, and the
devotees take Prasadam.

These pages began as a diary---but somehow or other turned into something like
a partial report of some of the details of the past few days.

In consequence, even though it is clear that I am certainly not competent to
write about those events, I am begging the mercy of our Gurudev and the
Disciplic Succession to allow me to write down as a diary this little bit of
information for those devotees who were not able to be with their Spiritual
Master during his last days with us. Please, Srila Prabhupada, forgive my
offenses. It is only by your mercy that I can possibly do anything. You have
given me so much, and I have given you so little.

Namah Om Vishnupadaya Krishna Presthaya bhutale, Srimate Bhaktivedanta Swamin
iti namine.

Namaste Saraswati Deve Gauravani pracarine, Nirvisesa sunyavadi pascatya
desatarine.

Anantacarya Das.

Krishna-Balaram Mandir, Vrndaban, India.

17 November, 1977.

CHANT HARE KRISHNA HARE KRISHNA KRISHNA KRISHNA HARE HARE
HARE RAMA HARE RAMA RAMA RAMA HARE HARE AND BE HAPPY
Your humble servant
radhabhava gaur das

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