----- Original Message ----- From: J Kane
To: J Kane
Sent: December 15, 2002 4:15 PM
Subject: clear clear clear grace


restlessly
or in peace
stillness you slay me
right through my core
how alert it becomes when I am flowing you
how terrifyingly real it all becomes
it all becomes
it all is
moments later the mind bewildered ponders
"was that real?"
"this couldn't be..."
"I can't be really this..."
ah a laugh rises from my heart to my throat
it seems the funniest thing that I would doubt God
that I fear I am anything but this
and compassion rises for all of us as we doubt this
not knowing we can surrender all that we are and all that we carry
sorrow, rage, fear, disappointment, love, stillness
they are all welcome here
to this holy moment of now
we are welcome now
our freedom awaits
how often I still turn away from myself saying "not this"
"this isn't stillness"
"this isn't the spiritual perfection"
"I must avoid whatever is currently unacceptable at all costs"
thank you that through my longing for you you keep me
pulled ever deeper ever quicker ever stiller
into the cross of here and now
where all must be laid upon the the altar
all to be released
even this
and then I fall back into you
perfect perfect perfect grace
not even a trace of ashes remain
just living presence
clear clear clear grace

josie