Sri Hitler

04-11-2000, 08:27 AM

In a message dated 4/10/00 9:05:07 PM Pacific Daylight Time,
mark.otter@... writes:

<< Forgiveness takes courage. Anyone ready
to come along? No TRYING to COMPREHEND the incomprehensible, ACCEPTING
the incomprehensible. FORGIVING the incomprehensible. Buttons,
buttons, buttons, they can go on forever. Start taking them apart now

Love (and more madness than you can see if you can't see the truth of
this...)
Mark
I'm willing to discuss problems all the way down (no bottom)... are you?
>>

Mark, l'm afraid l'm not really following you here. lt feels like a
challenge, though, which makes me worry that l may have offended you with my
last post. lf so, please know that was the last thing l wanted to do. You
seem very honest, sincere and heartfelt in expressing yourself, and l'm sure
that applies to your spiritual practice as well. lf there's anything you feel
we need to discuss, you might want to contact me off the list.

love,
jerry

04-12-2000, 02:28 AM

G'day Mark,

I've become a bit of a lurker lately but wanted to say
that some of your postings create a strong response in
the pit of my stomach. I'm not always sure why, but I'm
obviously in a place that connects somehow with what you
say so beautifully. One example is the posting below:

Mark:
[snip]
I ask you to share this with me, as one person alone can
take a million lifetimes doing this. I'm prepared. Are
you? Nothing less, nothing more. nothing but love - my
new mantra - , and no escape until it's true with no other
thoughts. I don't suggest I've accomplished this goal,
but if you are not willing to make it your goal, too, what
compassion can you lay claim to?

Annie:
I have only one real aim in life: to be more and more aware
that I am one, being, now. For some reason that seems to also
be the same as your new mantra "... nothing but love". I'm not
sure why.

Mark:
Do you do tonglen?

Annie:
"tonglen"? Que?

Mark:
Are you prepared to take on my suffering?

Annie:
Yes, I am. I'm not sure how or why, but prepared to do this
for some incomprehensible reason.

Mark:
Let's dance this
one. I've said for years that what God meant when He said the
Jews are the chosen people, that He meant they would be raised
to the heights of forgiveness that the depths of their
persecution requires. Forgiveness takes courage.

Annie:
Yes, forgiveness takes a lot of courage, or the ability to
step back and disclaim a personally 'offended' self. I seem
to be coming from this angle more at the moment. Forgiveness
seems to happen more easily and naturally in my life this way.
....still some way to go though. I'm just leting it all happen
and waiting to see how it all goes.

Mark:
Anyone ready to come along? No TRYING to COMPREHEND the
incomprehensible, ACCEPTING the incomprehensible.
FORGIVING the incomprehensible.

Annie:
Nearly everything is incomprehensible, no?

or totally
comprehensible? I suppose it depends on what you/I want
to know.

Mark:
Buttons, buttons, buttons,
they can go on forever. Start taking them apart now.

Annie:
I'm leaving my buttons well alone at the moment. Whatever
comes up, fine but I'm definitely not madly pressing them.
My plan is to let them all disolve before I even know they
exist

Mark:
Love (and more madness than you can see if you can't
see the truth of this...)

I'm willing to discuss problems all the way down (
no bottom)... are you?

Annie:
I guess so. What problems? What bottom?

You are beautiful Mark.

Love
Annie

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04-12-2000, 05:52 AM

Hi Annie,

I always love hearing what you have to say. (but I understand the
desire to lurk a bit, as this list stuff is a full time job. wish I
could get paid for it - it's great fun.) I feel the same way in the pit
of my stomach often times, and think my stomach has something wonderful
to say to me, if I can learn the language and let the message in. I've
been noticing yawning and sighing a lot lately, and I notice that when I
sigh, especially out loud (try it, it's lovely), I start out high
pitched and let the frequency drop as the tension drains out. When I
first started this practice (and I think it is deep spiritual work), I
noticed that the sigh broke off some where along the way. I wanted it to
keep going, but it stopped by itself. I've gone to that place (how to
say this so it makes sense - not sure) and looked at the energy there,
which turned out to be internal blocks composed of fear. LOTS of fear.
It can be released, but it takes the willingness to sit in it and
recognize it directly. Now my sighs go much deeper (and when they stop
short, I notice new blocks I've recently installed) Now and then I find
another old deep one. Such joy to process that and let it go. I do
this in the shower and let it drain down into the Earth. (She's big and
wise and knows how to recycle the energy into living things. What an
ability!) Anyway, I see that the sigh has no bottom. I believe that
this is the same as your one real aim in life: to be more and more aware
that I am one, being, now. For me, trying to be aware of this is futile,
but relaxing and removing the blocks that reinforce my separateness
seems to work, but so many blocks! Wow, I am wrapped well. But isn't
the joy of Christmas presents taking off the wrapping and discovering
what is underneath? gosh we love that game - is this the reason why?

Tonglen is another wonderful approach. It reverses the habitual
response to pain, which is to try to get rid of it, and to get relief.
In tonglen, one breathes in another's pain and suffering and breathes
out peace, joy, harmony. It's learning how to do that wonderful thing
that the Earth does - transforming the energy of suffering into life
again. It can change our lives. Pema Chodron is a good teacher of
tonglen. Bernie Glassman leads retreats to Aushwitz, and does tonglen
there - wow. He also teaches people who want to help the homeless in
NYC what it is like to be homeless. (they go do it for a couple of
weeks - perhaps not quite the same as landing there without a net, but I
haven't found the courage to do the retreat... yet.) I guess I think
stepping out of the way and letting God take over takes courage, and
that once you've done so, courage is one of the toys you've abandoned,
just like the little red fire truck that you no longer need because now
you're a REAL fireman. but I don't know, except in moments of clarity,
surrounded by doubt and confusion, like small shiny coral atols,
surrounded by ocean.

Well, I gotta shower and go to work, but I want to thank you kind people
for your messages of support and love, and acknowledge that I really got
wound up here the past few days. I'm glad. It brought my attention to
my button of "leaving when the going gets rough". I've done that
repeatedly in this life, and would like to break the pattern. If we are
one (and we are more deeply than most can imagine), how can anyone
leave? This is what it's all about. leaving. (how can you leave me?
you ARE me) There's a wonderful poem by David Whyte that I have taped to
my monitor at work, as I question my identity as an academic. I'd like
to share it with you.

Love, Mark

The Journey

Above the mountains
the geese turn into
the light again

painting their
black sillouttes
on an open sky.

Sometimes everything
has to be
enscribed across
the heavens

so you can find
the one line
already written
inside you.

Sometimes it takes
a great sky
to find that

small, bright
and indescribable
wedge of freedom
in your own heart.

Sometimes with
the bones of the black
sticks left when the fire
has gone out

someone has written
something new
in the ashes
of your life.

You are not leaving
you are arriving.

G'day, Annie!

Annie Heppingstone wrote:

> G'day Mark,
>
> I've become a bit of a lurker lately but wanted to say
> that some of your postings create a strong response in
> the pit of my stomach. I'm not always sure why, but I'm
> obviously in a place that connects somehow with what you
> say so beautifully. One example is the posting below:
>
> Mark:
> [snip]
> I ask you to share this with me, as one person alone can
> take a million lifetimes doing this. I'm prepared. Are
> you? Nothing less, nothing more. nothing but love - my
> new mantra - , and no escape until it's true with no other
> thoughts. I don't suggest I've accomplished this goal,
> but if you are not willing to make it your goal, too, what
> compassion can you lay claim to?
>
> Annie:
> I have only one real aim in life: to be more and more aware
> that I am one, being, now. For some reason that seems to also
> be the same as your new mantra "... nothing but love". I'm not
> sure why.
>
> Mark:
> Do you do tonglen?
>
> Annie:
> "tonglen"? Que?
>
> Mark:
> Are you prepared to take on my suffering?
>
> Annie:
> Yes, I am. I'm not sure how or why, but prepared to do this
> for some incomprehensible reason.
>
>
> Mark:
> Let's dance this
> one. I've said for years that what God meant when He said the
> Jews are the chosen people, that He meant they would be raised
> to the heights of forgiveness that the depths of their
> persecution requires. Forgiveness takes courage.
>
>
> Annie:
> Yes, forgiveness takes a lot of courage, or the ability to
> step back and disclaim a personally 'offended' self. I seem
> to be coming from this angle more at the moment. Forgiveness
> seems to happen more easily and naturally in my life this way.
> ...still some way to go though. I'm just leting it all happen
> and waiting to see how it all goes.
>
> Mark:
> Anyone ready to come along? No TRYING to COMPREHEND the
> incomprehensible, ACCEPTING the incomprehensible.
> FORGIVING the incomprehensible.
>
> Annie:
> Nearly everything is incomprehensible, no?

or totally
> comprehensible? I suppose it depends on what you/I want
> to know.
>
> Mark:
> Buttons, buttons, buttons,
> they can go on forever. Start taking them apart now.
>
> Annie:
> I'm leaving my buttons well alone at the moment. Whatever
> comes up, fine but I'm definitely not madly pressing them.
> My plan is to let them all disolve before I even know they
> exist

>
> Mark:
> Love (and more madness than you can see if you can't
> see the truth of this...)
>
> I'm willing to discuss problems all the way down (
> no bottom)... are you?
>
> Annie:
> I guess so. What problems? What bottom?
>
> You are beautiful Mark.
>
> Love
> Annie
>
>
> __________________________________________________ ____
> Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com
>
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