Dear List,
Well, it was never my intention to glorify 'anyone' - this'Tim" (and
there but for the Grace of God go I)... nor would any Zen master
approve of anyone glorifying him. Of course, in conventional terms,
this person's actions were despicable and so forth. And how thrilling
and temporarily satisfying righteous anger at other is. If we look
around us, we see things like this occuring daily really. I have
lived a good part of my life in Third World countries, (as we like to
label them and tuck those folks conveniently into the back of our
mind), including eight years in Kenya. What is happening there, what
is continuing to happen in all of Africa and in all of Asia, without
any particular expression of outrage, is beyond description. And as
well, in my happy country of Canada, there is plenty of suffering and
oppression, perhaps not so apparent as in Africa. It is a matter of
degree. All conventional politics is dual, even when we are good
people thinking and doing the right thing. And conveniently overlooks
the idea of karma.
When the realization that all my efforts at political action were
really quite hopeless, were not eleviating any suffering and usually
making things worse, I decided that the only possible political
action left was to be a student of non-dualty, to explore the greed,
hatred and delusion, the cause of all suffering, in this egoistic
life as I live it, in this mind writing. What other response is
there? Then, at the very least, one is not adding to the grief.
Whoever this 'Tim' was, who knows? But whoever anyone on this list has
to arise in this mind as it contacts their expression through the
posts. This affords the opportunity to see into the moment this 'I'
and any greed, hatred and delusion. Most of my experience is with
Buddhism, but I don't identify this self here as a 'Buddhist'. This
is really only a model of reality, one of many, offering a view that
may or not offer insight into full reality. Since it seems to me
that Buddhism, and Advaita meet at the point of exploring this
'illness' of 'self', this delusion of 'I' and 'other' then I assumed
that encountering students of non-duality on this list would offer
insight into my own ponderings and exploration into this duality and
what non-dualty might be. This is happening. Rather fine practice.
I don't post anything from Buddhist thought with the agenda that Im
going to sort people out. This would be pretty dual and delusional.
I post whatever seems to be passing through mind. It happens to be
what I have on my desk currently. Sometimes a person will respond
from where they locate themselves in the moment. Sometimes their
response sorts out some tangle in mind here and even better,
sometimes I laugh. But, always the opportunity to look at duality
through projection is present. Do 'I' like something, or some
imagined other, dislike something? feel neutral...whatever, one sees
the antics of 'I' present at these times. Mostly there is equanimity
to all of it and appreciation.
Of course it goes without saying that one's concern is for any and all
'victims'. But when I watched a few of the interviews with Tim's
victims, I saw those who continued to suffer in hell, looking for
some sort of relief through angry vengence, and finding none, and
those who, with great courage and spirit, determined to make their
suffering count for something, to help and support others. These
people I find most inspiring. If they can do this, why not I? They at
least move into better karma and use their terrible suffering as their
path. All beings will suffer what is for them the limit of suffering
at some point in their lives. People around them may not even notice,
their suffering may not be a public spectacle, an 'orderly event' as
CNN put it. We can kill another, but let us do it in orderly
fashion.
So, all students of non-duality, who are the victims, who is 'Tim'?
Who are the enlightened ones, who are the suffering masses? Who are
the prisoners filling the prisons, who are the millions at this
moment dying? Who are the tortured, who are those doing the deed. The
list is endless. Who is walking the walk beyond the talk? Yes, I am
angry beyond words, at all of 'it'!
Who is nasty Tim and who is good little me? Who do I hate today?
Joyce