On 11/30/99 at 12:58 PM Nasir Chang wrote:

>Dear Sangha,
>
>I understood about Non-eternality (Anicca) of things, that
make me not
>affraid of death. As i'm not attain Enlightenment yet, i
still don't know
>what really happen when i die.

Enlightenment isn't to be attained; it has been forgotten so
it is something that has to be recognized. This is difficult
in modern society because of the enormous sensory overload
from birth on whereas it is easy in "primitive" society where
life has its natural pauses, enabling the recognition to be
spontaneous.

>According to my understanding and my intellectual, i do
believe there is
>other worlds, reincarnation and etc. But i realise that i
don't fully
>believe it yet, because i can't remember my experience of
death.
>Please tell me your opinion, what happen if i kill myself
with motivation;
>want to know what happen after die?
>Thanks.
>
>In Curious,
>Nasir

There is a certain likeness between "life when alive" and
"life when dead"; in both cases, one is driven by desires,
fears and tendencies. The difference is that when "alive" one
thinks to be the master of fate whereas "dead" one knows to be
powerless, so fear will dominate, because there appears to be
no escape from the "ghosts of the mind" (which aren't
recognized as such). When fear exceeds a certain threshold, a
trauma is caused so it doesn't come as surprise hardly anyone
still knows, not to be born a blank. Another reason is that a
newborn is forced to identify with all those spontaneous
arising bodily feelings like hunger etc. The power of all
these "crude" feelings will soon start to swamp the volatile
memory from "before" and the sensory overload will erase the
rest. This memory is more likely to be maintained when parents
recognize the onset of feelings in a newborn, acting
accordingly so that the identifications with body don't get
strong; this also can prevent one's real nature from being
forgotten or being covered under sensory "garbage" completely.
A scenario, much more likely in a "primitive" culture than in
the Western world.

Any motivation to kill oneself is likely to be selfish;
because deep inside one knows this, it will show up as
something rather unpleasant. So it is rightly, strongly
advised against in all religions. What doesn't have "bad"
consequences is sacrifice. When the Spanish invaders had
conquered one of the local rulers of Tenerife by treason and
had captured him, he could have saved his life by betraying
the members of his family and his army. Knowing he would
likely to be killed after all, he jumped from a high cliff.

Jan