Hello Nasir,

>I understood about Non-eternality (Anicca) of things, that make me not
>affraid of death. As i'm not attain Enlightenment yet, i still don't know
>what really happen when i die.

You already know in your meditation what it is like to exist without the
physical body... and also without the emotional body and the mental body.
You have some experience of existing without being physical, emotional, or
intellectual. Thus you do know something about what it will be like. As
you get more experience on those higher levels, you'll become more
accustomed to them and more comfortable. You can see that dying might
bring a big surprise to people who have never meditated, but I don't think
it will for you.

It's a good thing to know about death, both for your own sake and because
you may be able to help others. It's a wonderful thing to be able to
comfort and reassure someone who is dying.

The Tibetans have a book about dying, the _Bardo Thodol_. There is a
translation into English by Lama Dawa Samdup, edited by W.Y. Evans-Wentz,
under the title, _The Tibetan Book of the Dead_. I have read that when a
Tibetan is dying, a lama sits beside him and reads the _Bardo_, guiding him
through the process. If a lama is not available, it is permissible for
anyone who can read or recite the _Bardo_ to do so for the dying person.
The reading is continued after death, and the text informs the person that
he is now truly dead, and not in the body. It guides him toward the Clear
Light... and then, in case he didn't make it, the book guides him toward
the next best choice. And so on.

However, the book is much more than it might seem. It is a text on the
various planes/ levels/ states of consciousness. Thus it is used by
students learning meditation on the inner planes. It is a guide to death
and rebirth while still in the body. This is the true esoteric teaching on
death.

In Evans-Wentz' book, _Tibetan Yoga and Secret Doctrines_, there is a
translation (with commentary) of "The Yoga of the Six Doctrines." One of
these is "The Doctrine [or Yoga] of the After-Death State," in which there
are excerpts from the _Bardo Thodol_; it is written for lamas and students.
Evans-Wentz compares the study of the six yogas with the Hindu Kundalini
Yoga.

Lama Govinda, in _Foundations of Tibetan Mysticism_, says:

>.... In the second stage [of discipleship], this intuitive attitude is
>transformed into understanding through reason; while in the third stage,
>the disciple's intuitive feeling as well as intellectual understanding are
>transformed into living reality through direct experience. Thus
>intellectual conviction grows into spiritual certainty, into a knowing in
>which the knower is _one_ with the known.
> This is the high spiritual state vouchsafed by the teachings set forth
>in the _Bardo Thodol_. Thereby the initiated disciple attains dominion
>over the realm of death, and, being able to perceive death's illusory
>nature, is freed from fear. For in the process of dying we pass through
>the same stages which are experienced in the higher states of meditation.
>Already Plutarch said: 'At the moment of death the soul experiences the
>same as those who are initiated into the great mysteries.'
> The _Bardo Thodol_ is such a book of initiation into one of those
>Great Mysteries. Under the guise of death it reveals to the initiate the
>secret of life. He must go through the experience of death, in order to
>gain liberation within himself. He must die to his past and to his ego,
>before he can be admitted into the community of the Enlightened Ones. Only
>he who looks upon every moment of his life as if it were his last, and
>values it accordingly, can understand the significance of the _Bardo
>Thodol_ as a vade-mecum for initiates, a guide for the sadhaka, an
>incomparable inspiration for the unfoldment of inner vision. Herein
>consists for us the value of this work, one of the oldest scriptures in
>Tibetan language, which is looked upon as the spiritual testament of
>Padmasambhava. It contains the fundamental outlines of all later mandalas
>or systems of creative visualization. For this reason we have made the
>_Bardo Thodol_ the basis of our observations.

Now, back to your question: what happens after death? The best source I
know on this is a book under the name of Stewart Edward White. He wrote
two books about his wife, Betty, and her 20 years of work with spiritual
guides. She learned to lie down and go into a deep state of meditation
while still being able to speak... or allow a guide to speak through her.
So her husband was able to sit beside her and record everything that was
said. It was these records, as well as his experiences with her, from
which he wrote the two books, and many people consider them a wonderful
guide to spiritual growth. As he was finishing the second one, she
suddenly became ill and died. Half an hour later she was with him so
strongly that he could never doubt it. She is the one person whose death
was not mentioned in _Who's Who in America_ ... the editors read his final
chapter about her death and refused to say that she was dead.

Six months later he was visiting friends, and the wife was a well-known
trance medium... they had also published books. They wanted to talk to
Betty, and he acquiesced. She immediately said that she was going to
dictate a book... and that THIS was what they had been working together
for, for those 20 years. It would be a book about what the world is like
from her perspective. She said that this book would be much more popular
than the first two and that scientists would write to him... and it was
so. It's quite a book... she dictated a chapter an evening, and afterward
she answered questions from them... questions as "silly" as, "Do you eat?"
or "What about animals after death?"

She began by saying that there is only one universe and they were living in
the same universe. She said the difference is that for us in the body the
universe is obstructed... there is so much that we don't see and hear and
feel. But for her it was unobstructed... she had the freedom of the
universe. The book was named _The Unobstructed Universe_.

Speaking about death, she said that when it is known that someone is dying,
there is always a guide waiting to help him. But when there's an accident
or very sudden death, there could be a brief lapse before a guide arrives.
She talked about the various kinds of help that might be needed. She said
some people just have a hard time believing that they are dead, that
they've left the body for good. It may take some time for someone who had
been old and/or sick to understand that he is no longer old or sick... and
until then, he will still perceive himself that way. She said sometimes
someone needs a period of sleep or rest. She tells many stories about this
work with the newly arriving, and it's very interesting. But most of the
book is about what the world is like when it's unobstructed by being in
incarnation. Every time I've read it, I've understood more of what she was
saying.

>According to my understanding and my intellectual, i do believe there is
>other worlds, reincarnation and etc. But i realise that i don't fully
>believe it yet, because i can't remember my experience of death.
>Please tell me your opinion, what happen if i kill myself with motivation;
>want to know what happen after die?

Betty said that the psychological state we are in just before death is the
same state we are in just after death. And a person who commits suicide is
usually completely turned against life... so he finds himself in his new
bodiless state, STILL completely turned against life and negative. This
requires a great deal of help... and sometimes it's almost impossible to
even reach the person. My conclusion is that no matter how bad things are,
there's always a better solution than suicide. Death is not going to end
life... it's only going to put the person in an even worse situation than
he's already in. (I don't view terminally ill people in the same way,
but I don't recall what she said about that.)

I checked on these books. Barnes & Noble lists the first two as available,
and you can order them on-line. They are _The Betty Book_ and _Across the
Unknown_. But the major work, _The Unobstructed Universe_, is out of print
just now. Amazon Books says they will search for books for you, and Barnes
& Noble actually searched and gave me a list of available second-hand
copies, with a description of their condition and prices... which are
considerably more than an in-print book... the cheapest is $22.95, as I
recall. White wrote several more books after that, but they are not
available, except perhaps in libraries.

Other books by White are in print, but they are not on the same topic.
White was independently wealthy, and he travelled widely and then wrote
books about his travels... some of those books are apparently still
popular.

I did find a web-site devoted to the "teachings" in these books. There's a
series of articles about the work as a whole. And there's a
chapter-by-chapter capsule summary of _The Unobstructed Universe_. These
"chapters" are quite short and give the main points of the chapters, with
some quotes from the book... it looks like a good job for what it is, but
very short. Not a substitute for the book. Here's the site:

http://www.znet.com/~normanl/white1.htm

Re. suicide, I found some confirmation in a book by Hans Holzer (forget the
title) on his ghost-busting work. There are a couple of fairly recent
books by him on that subject available now... one may be a rewrite of the
older book.

Whenever he was called in on a serious case of a ghost making problems, he
would go and take with him a good trance medium... often it was Sybil
Leek, the English witch and high priestess of the Horsa Coven. He could
then talk to the ghost through the medium.

He regarded these ghosts as poor souls who were really mixed up... or they
wouldn't be hanging around the places where they had lived... or died. He
said they were often suicides, but sometimes people who had died in very
traumatic ways. Sometimes he had to convinve them that they were really
dead, not in the body... they were that confused. Then he would suggest
that they look for the light... and go into the light. He said many of
them, the suicides especially, were hanging around because they felt that
they must do something... protect a house, help someone, maybe do
something good to make them feel less guilty. So what he did was mostly
psychological and spiritual counselling, leading them to give up holding
onto the past and go on... into the light.

Love and blessings,
Dharma