Yes, a few times I've wondered if a Gaudiya preacher could make it as a stand-up comedian.

"Take my wife, ...... please".

The Vedas say we live forever. Nobody told me that when I took my wedding vows. "Take my wife, ...... please".

If the soul is more powerful than the sun, then why don't I have a tan all year round?

Some holy dude said that if I sing this hymn I'll go to the Kingdom of God. So I asked, "You got MTV there"?

I studied God for thirty years at the ashram. He's more a mystery now than ever.

At the ashram we couldn't have sex or booze. So you can imagine how quickly the place would empty out on Friday nights.